To ask if anyone else hoards their 'nice' things and buys/uses new not so nice ones?

[ThatBliddyWoman]

For example-for my birthday a couple of months ago I got bought all sorts of lovely things including nice wine, nice beauty products etc

Even further back than that, for birthdays and xmasses I've been bought similar lovely things, I've got some expensive vodkas and gins, gift boxes with all sorts of perfumes and beauty products, ornamental candles, slippers, photo frames,note books, gift sets

My sister bought me a lovely miniature wooden set of drawers, each drawer containing a perfume, make up or beauty product, little candle...in 2017. I've not even opened it.

If I fancy a drink I buy myself some cheap wine or prosecco-I've got stacks of wine and prosecco given as gifts for me, in lovely bottles on top of my fridge or on shelves in my kitchen-untouched some for years. When people came over for a recent family 'do' I bought aldi gins (perfectly nice by the way!)instead of opening the other ones I've already got that are in nice ornamental bottles!

I buy cheap body lotion when I must have 50 bottles of luxury lotion in my bathroom from birthdays and xmasses of the past.

I've got so many eyeshadow palettes of various expense, but if I need an eyeshadow palette I'll get a cheap one from eBay.

WHY do I do this?! I am sure when I die there will be a load of lovely things in their boxes.

When my Grandmother died they found that she'd done the same. Boxes and bags of things she'd 'saved for best' including clothes (I don't do that at least) make up, perfumes and beauty things. BUT she was a 1920s baby, brought up in poverty. I understand that. I was born in the 80s and although we weren't rich, I never wanted for anything.

Does anyone else do anything like this, or do I have some sort of problem?

Also I opened a gift set containing my favourite body lotion this morning. From who knows how long ago, and it still smells amazing :)

Well done OP! Please open another lovely thing tomorrow and come back and tell us!

I am exactly like this OP. So many nice beauty gifts that are still in packaging. Nice bottles of wine and champagne sitting there for years. I feel like I’m wasting them if I don’t save them for something special- but what is that exactly?! Reading this thread has encouraged me to actually use and enjoy some of these lovely things.

No. I was brought up like that and refuse to do the same.

For example, I inherited solid silver cutlery which had hardly been used for 50 years. We use it every day.

I try not to be like this, but sometimes I have to remind myself. Like others we have had family members die much too young and it definitely focuses the mind.

We do have one lovely set of glasses bought for our wedding 29 years ago that we only use at Christmas, but that is mostly because they are too big to fit in the dishwasher. And I have champagne in the fridge waiting for a special occasion, but I'm actually not that keen on champagne so prefer a cheap glass of white.

Congratulations @ThatBliddyWoman

It's good for your self esteem to treat yourself well. Being kind to your self is IMO an important life skill. All the best.

My mum used to do this, she also to take our best Christmas presents and put them on a shelf so they were 'kept nice'.
It was so depressing seeing your favourite toys still boxed on a shelf,
That taught me all I needed to know about hoarding the nice things. Why. Who gains from it? Are you not worth the best things?

I used everything and buy myself nice things: I'm worth it, even if my mums lessons was effectively that I wasn't.

Though to be fair stuff like our fancy champagne flutes, if we use then I worry they will smash when used. They can't go in the dishwasher so wait ages to be washed.
I'd prefer not to have them (were an engagement gift) so maybe lots of these un-used wedding gifts are similar. We are perfectly happy with our ikea cheap stuff and won't actually get any more enjoyment with the fancy stuff that may smash.

(It just seems different to nice wine and bath stuff)

I grew up without things (80's) as my mother preferred to ensure she had money for cigarettes than bother making sure her kids had clothes that were suitable.
It has made me go the opposite way!
If someone gifts me something lovely I use it straight away, it is a joy to have received something nice just for me😊 Even more so because the person giving it to me thinks I deserve it (more than my mother ever did).
Anything new I buy for the kids is opened and enjoyed straight away, I would hate for them to feel they had to keep something for 'best' (when does this mythical 'best' happen.....are we waiting to meet the queen? Is a trip to the local restaurant enough to declare 'best'?)
Absolutely no one is unworthy of their possessions (that is all they are after all) so if my daughter wants to go to tesco in her nicest dress, why the hell not! And the same applies to me, you and everyone else posting on this thread!

Is this not dissimilar to the thought process of ‘My proper life - when I’ll be ready happy - will start when I’m two stone lighter’.
(I won’t start the diet today though… maybe next week).

*really happy …

"I'd prefer not to have them" and "I worry they will smash"! Definitely use them everyday until they break and then you don't have to worry any more!

Used to then we sadly lost my gran and found all her wedding present s in a drawer waiting for best...some due the fact she was 90 fell apart when we touched them. Every day is best now and I don't save something for best. X

I’ve been using my fancy glasses received as wedding presents and I can confirm it takes a good 20 years to get down to the last few. The wine sized ones are long gone, and the champagne, we are down to some piddly schnapps (?), sherry (?) ones. Anyway, it took a long time.

I once read a very wise comment online that said if you value an item so much that you never use it, then it’s already broken.

I also think that as soon as you start using the good things, not only does it feel good but you don’t worry as much about them anyway

I used to do this - all the reasons that folks have said (I was not worth it, not wanting the nice things to be gone), plus the feeling of having nice things around me made me feel...safe? The idea that I could buy more nice things if I used stuff up hadn't even crossed my mind. I'm now at the other end of the spectrum - actively make sure I use the good perfume, wear the fancy dress, etc etc. I am ruthless too about not getting back into my micro-hoarding ways, annual clearouts of stuff for the bin/charity shops/etc if it's not being used.

This completely comes from my parents - well-off but will.not.spend.money. if they can help it, and keep everything 'for best', 'just in case'; or, at best, just buy complete pointless occasional tat. One of the bathrooms at their home has conditioner in it from 20 years ago; a bottle of oil in the kitchen that is empty apart from a dribble and has been for years but can't be binned. It is infuriating and, as others have said, makes it pointless and miserable to buy presents for them (clothes unworn, food uneaten).

Honestly, after decades of that it is delicious to treat myself (and you too OP) with the lovely things, right now!

I buy nice things and use them because I grew up not having any.

See, I'm the exact opposite. I seem to have taken this to heart so don't use the nice things because then I won't have them any more.

I was really pleased when dh bought me a pretty pair of earrings and made a point of telling me he'd deliberately chosen an inexpensive pair because he really wanted me to wear them and not just tuck them away for best.

I'm trying to make myself get better with this!

I once read a very wise comment online that said if you value an item so much that you never use it, then it’s already broken.

Ooh, I like this!

I use all my stuff never have enough! I must be greedy or something

Cant bare to wear my good pyjamas tho not happening or the dress i ordered two months ago

I was doing this with my clothing. Going around looking like something the cat dragged in with loads of expensive clothes with the tags still on stuffed in the drawers and expensive make up in its packaging in my vanity.

No more. I've done my big Covid clear out and am fascinated by the concept of capsule wardrobes, which allows me to buy best quality but I'm forced to actually wear it. I won't let myself buy the cheap raggedy "filler" pieces anymore.

This is such a great and insightful thread. I buy or am gifted stuff and yet the items sit in a cupboard unused. I think for me it's because I don't want them to get damaged or worn and because I was so poor as a child with absolutely nothing that I am absolutely petrified of having nothing again.

Definitely going to try my best to use the things I have and not just let them sit unused. Even though the thought of using them causes me to tense up and get anxious.

I was gifted a pair of liberty pj's it took a Mumsnet thread to encourage me to actually wear them.
I have really enjoyed wearing them.

My gran did that. I have some beautiful unused (when I got them) towels which were a wedding present she'd saved. She had the most harsh threadbare towels she used.

Don't be like that. I wish she'd used the towels and enjoyed them.

I used to do this but not anymore. You're essentially telling yourself you're not worth of the good stuff. You are. Use it, wear it and enjoy it before it goes stale/out of fashion/you die and it gets sent to the op shop.