Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

Well population growth, particularly growth in the number of households, requires more houses to exist.

Every child you have, will most likely go off and start their own household, requiring another house.

According to the Office of National Statistics, the population in the UK is likely to rise by 2.1million in the next decade. That’s a lot of extra homes that will be required. I might be taking up three extra bedrooms, but I haven’t added any children that will each need to start their own households one day.

😂😂😂😂😂😊 I presume this is a joke response! No one can be that dim!

Thank you @heheliosunburg, yes that was my point. We lost out on 3 houses, ALL to single women.

That's like me and my family buying a 20 bedroom property. You can't tell me that it doesn't sound excessive and unnecessary for a family of 5.

Loads of my neighbours are childless couples living in 3 story, 4 bedroom houses. Seem to spend most of their time showing pictures on instagram of bedrooms converted into walk in wardrobes. Spare rooms decorated in a particular style.

None of them ever look very homely and lived in.

But the adults buying houses now were born to people now in their 50s and 60s. Before the housing boom. And, to be honest, the same people who refuse to downsize and stay in oversized and unsuitable accommodation until they’re extremely elderly…

I might say that garages, driveways, downstairs loos, utility rooms, dining rooms, etc, are all excessive and wasted excess space. Why is it just excess bedrooms that are the perceived problem?

I know what you mean, OP, we have one DC and live in a big 5-bed house. People are sometimes surprised there's only 3 of us. We bought it when we thought we'd have 3 kids, but infertility has meant we're lucky to have one.

Damned if I'm moving so a bigger family can live here - this is my home, it was a real pain in the arse to move (and expensive, what with stamp duty etc.). Maybe we'll downsize when DS moves out, but for now we're staying put.

Exactly. Why would you care about some random nobody's opinion. That's laughable.

Actually we could take a silver lining from this and say "great that so many single women have the buying power now!".

I live in a five bed house … alone. Yes it’s too big and not cheap to run but I’ve never felt like moving. Big life changes have happened and after I’ve dealt with them I haven’t had the emotional energy to move house on top.

My money, my choice IMO. When I get to the stage of wanting to work less I’ll consider my options.

It’s a shame that you can’t afford to buy what you want buy, that’s always frustrating. Maybe you need to look for something at a budget you can afford. I am presuming that you lost out because you couldn’t compete financially rather than because all 3 vendors specifically wanted to sell to single women, because that certainly would be very unusual

See what I mean, @Mally100 ?🙄
And thank you for your earlier post. It was appreciated.

Why on earth do you follow your neighbours on Instagram?

WoW OP, i feel like I could’ve written your post.

the vast majority of posters here have given me a lot of comfort. I too, live in a 3 bedroom plus study house with just my DH.

We have struggled with infertility too. we feel like I have to justify our choice to family even saying things like (we might adopt) so they don’t pass judgment on our spare rooms.

as pp has said the number of room are in proportion to living space and kitchen and I now finally feel we have enough room to swing a cat. Also lovely that we can invite family and friends to stay for the weekend.

with respect to infertility…. I hope our dreams come true and if not we find peace xxxx

As for greedy 🤷🏻‍♀️, whatever! I don’t care what anyone thinks of my financial choices. I’ve lived here through divorce, child leaving home and cancer/recovery.

Choosing to stay in the place that has been my home for more than a decade. Where I feel safe with incredible neighbours and that I work full time to pay for is entirely my choice.

I could say I find it more excessive to have three children than three spare bedrooms.

I won’t though, it’s your choice to have three children, just like it’s my choice to have three spare rooms.

Another unpleasant little post.

Nope.

We had a 3 bed with no DC, it's now (having extended) a 4 bed with 1 dc. Admittedly, box room would now need a built in bed and is used as office.

We have always had a guest room. When DD leaves, I am eyeing up her room as my study/craft room and putting guest room back to solely guest use (I use it for WFH a lot at present).

I have a DAunt in a large 4 bed house who is unmarried and childless. 2 more DAunt/DUncle couples each in 3 bed houses who never had DCs. 2 DSiblings in a 3 and a 4 bed house with no DCs (3 bed is married couple, 4 bed is singleton).

If the house works for whoever lives in it, that's what's important.

@YaaYaaYaa

Thank you @heheliosunburg, yes that was my point. We lost out on 3 houses, ALL to single women.

we actually deliberately sold our last house to a single woman even though her asking price was under that of other offers.
she was newly divorced and I just liked the idea of her having a nice home to have a fresh start.

Technically, we could have afforded all of them, we weren't outbid by much. But we didn't want to go to our absolute max budget, as each had some sort of work that needed doing that we didn't want to have to save again and wait years to do.

Though one vendor did say she wanted her home to go to a family but then didn't even give us the opportunity to up our after we were outbid. The agent tried to reason with her to consider us, but she was having none of it.

I agree with this.

I'm in a terrace and it's regularly called The Tardis when people come for the first time. From the street it looks tiny, but it's definitely not tiny inside.

I dont. For some reason they keep popping up because i followed the housebuilder i purchased my house off a year or so ago......

The agent tried to reason with her to consider us, but she was having none of it.

Well of course. Who would be stupid enough to turn down more money over what ?

A 3 bedroom house is not a large house.

We did. We turned down families and chose single divorcee as we just liked the idea of her having our home to build a new life.