Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

Yup. So if you want guilt free space, buy 6 bed, knock bedrooms together into 3 and there you go😁 maybe one could be a luxury bathroom.

@PriamFarrl please know that I am speaking in general terms, and generally (if I’m honest) about older couples who never had any intention of adding more people to the house, and it will be unsuitable for them within a handful of years anyway. Please don’t take what I say to heart, we are on an Internet forum and discussing a topic in an abstract way.

@Bubblebubblebah well that’s a specific scenario but generally I don’t feel 2 people ‘need’ 4 bedrooms and 2 living rooms etc 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Bubblebubblebah well that’s a specific scenario but generally I don’t feel 2 people ‘need’ 4 bedrooms and 2 living rooms etc 🤷🏼‍♀️

They might 'need' living room, dining room, 2 bedrooms, office and a gym.

I am pretty sure that if houses weren't advertising rooms as bedrooms, no one would give a fuck.

well that’s your opinion and this is mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

there was a thread on MN where a poster said she had waited years for a house to come up for sale in a specific village as it was perfect for their circumstances and in the catchment for a SEN school for her son etc (don’t quote me on that but it was along those lines). Eventually the perfect house came up, they maxed out their budget to put in a full asking price offer, but got pipped to it by a single elderly lady. It was a 5 bedroom house if I remember rightly!

yes I KNOW that lady was ‘entitled’ to do that, but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a bit more cash from selling my house knowing how much better it would’ve made that family’s life had I not accepted it.

Yabu of course people would assume that.

Why otherwise would you need three bedrooms?

That's one case. We bought a new build when the property market was on it's arse and the saleswoman practically begged us to buy it, I'm pretty sure we weren't depriving anyone else of their dream home.
So I'm really not prepared to accept the label of selfish due to the placement of internal plasterboard.

yes I KNOW that lady was ‘entitled’ to do that, but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a bit more cash from selling my house knowing how much better it would’ve made that family’s life had I not accepted it.

What about the 'single elderly lady's' needs? How do you know that she didn't need that house as much as the family?

I knew somebody would say that but I think you know, as I do, it’s very unlikely she ‘needed’ a huge house for a reason more pressing than the family’s. In fact I can’t think of a single one that is in any way likely. No demands of work or children, if it was related to health needs surely a huge 2 story house would be the last thing you would want.

Not a 2 storey house? How dare someone without children have an upstairs. The very idea.

Christ, so we can’t even buy a house in a catchment area for a good school without being selfish now?

Tell you what, can the Parents Only Family Homes organisation just give us a list of where we can live? Might save time at this point.

Yes that’s exactly what I said 🙄 dramatic much?

That’s the nature of the property market. Most people would not turn down a higher offer 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know when I’ve sold I’ve taken the best offer. The individual circumstances of the buyers is neither my business nor concern.

Yeah I blatantly said that as well.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen more extreme paraphrasing as I have on this thread 😂

How did the poster know it was sold to single elderly lady who will be living there alone?

How the hell does half the people claiming they lost property offer to single women living there by herself know that? Doesn't anyone else see the problem with this? Either most people are bullshitting, ir atalking the property after sale or we have some serious safety concerns about estate agents. I knew absolutely nothing about other bidders on all properties I put offer on. Let alone their marital status and whether they will live there by themselves.

Even if she didn’t need it, she clearly wanted it and got it because she could afford to pay more.

That’s the nature of the private property market. It’s not the charitable sector. You’re always going to be disappointed if you expect it to run like it is.

Because it was a small village and I imagine people talk? Or maybe the estate agent blabbed 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know they’ve said similar things to us, without specifically naming people.

Yes @whumpthereitis i know 🤷🏼‍♀️ But because something is legal and permitted doesn’t mean I have to like it or that it’s the ‘right’ thing to do. You can stop making that point now.

@Bubblebubblebah Right?! The most I know about my house is that three offers had fallen through. How are people finding this out?

No demands of work or children, if it was related to health needs surely a huge 2 story house would be the last thing you would want.

So when do you think it would be OK for a single woman to have a 2 storey house.

Then I’m not sure what you’re expecting people to say. You don’t like it? Okay, cool. We’ve established that. And?

And I’m discussing it on here. The point of threads, no?

It's such a risk! I also appeared to be buying alone... So... Imagine someone wouldn't take that well and try to bully the buyer our

To be fair, you started out by saying that you didn’t think single people should buy homes meant for families, and now you’ve started giving examples of single people buying homes in good catchment areas. I assumed you also found that selfish, or you wouldn’t have mentioned it.

Nope! 20 years ago dh & I renovated a derelict 2 bedroom house, adding an extension which gave us a very large 3rd bedroom. We then 'filled' it with 1 dc!
3 bedroom is not a big house!
Good luck with the renovations - it's very exciting to bring an old house back to life

No I didn’t. Literally, look back over my posts and tell me where I said that. I said I disapprove of people - whether that’s a single, couple or family - buying a house DISPROPORTIONATELY big to their needs.

we are a family of 3, should be 4 if this pregnancy goes well. We are planning to upsize from a 3 bed to a 4 bed (we both wfh, so 3 beds plus office/spare room). A 7 bed property would be disproportionate to what we need, I wouldn’t buy one.

Thats what I meant and have said repeatedly. I said I didn’t think OP was unreasonable as a 3 bed isn’t hugely big for a couple. Honestly, all the ‘you hate single and childless people’ is massive projection from other posters