Large house- you must have lots of children?

[MarmiteCoriander]

AIBU that people assume that if you have a 3 bed house and a small study- that you must have multiple children?

Currently renovating a derelict house for DH, myself and dog to live in. Yes, its much larger than than the 2 bed flat we lived in, but doesn't have acres of land! We have TTC 12 yrs, 3 losses and rounds of IVF, but people assume we must have lots of kids to have 'such a big' house!

Would you assume someone living in a 3 bed with small study had multiple children?

And of course, everyone of those children is going to become a nursing home carer that we will rely on should we be fortunate enough to live to 90.

We should be more greatful. 😂

You never know, they might lift bins.
Also, when you get to 50 you should move into a retirement flat and stop being a burden.

That's gonne be hard because buggers accept 55+ around me only

@Wouldloveanother , if that was your Nan's choice, that's great for her. Honestly, if she's happy, that's all that you could ask for (my Nan was like a second Mam to me, she was my absolute heart, so I really get it). However, with my Nan, staying in her three bedroom house when it was just her left living there was so important to her. She raised her family there. Her youngest son died, and then was laid out there. Her husband also died and was laid out there. It was important to her to stay in that house. We had moments of sadness, wonderful times, and my amazing Nan deserved to live out her life in the home that she and Grandad built for all of us.

My bestie and her OH live in a four bedroomed house. They've got their bedroom and a guest room, his study and a box room. No kids. Space is the luxury of the comfortably off.

I know there’s emotional attachment. But it often is at the detriment of their safety as they get older, and as I highlighted in my story, it often ends badly with a very distressed elderly person moving into a new flat somewhere they don’t know and have no friends. Plus the fact they have falls - one of our neighbours also stayed put, had constant falls, was basically in and out of hospital for years (and yes there is the question about how much this costs the NHS). These big houses are rarely suitable for the elderly.

Or the compensation of those who can’t have kids.

My next door neighbour lived in her house until 96. She was mobile, she even drove. She enjoyed the garden and the house and being in the community she’d lived in since her 20s. One day, I was chatting to her over the fence as she gardened, the next day she just collapsed and died in her own living room.

Imagine she’d spent 46 years living somewhere that she didn’t enjoy as much as just so that she was ready in case she got old and distressed.

It’s all anecdotal.

@Goatinthegarden sure but that’s rare. The vast majority of 96 year olds cannot live like that.

We (two of us no kids, but we did plan to have them) live in a 1930s three bed one bath 2 loos semi slightly larger than average, by which I mean the rooms are slightly larger not that there are more of them. We’ve added another sitting room at the back where there was a grotty conservatory and converted the garage which will be my woman cave when finished. The third bedroom is my DH’s storage space for his work stuff. I still don’t think we’ve got a big house. My neighbours now - they have added a two storey extension and have 5 bedrooms. That is a big house.

I make no assumptions. We’ve got a 4 bed with a garage. It’s me, DH and my mum. My son has just decided to move back home.

I wouldn't assume anything, purely because I grew up in one of the most affluent areas of the NE. So I do know that a girl who went to school with me and my sister, her dad whom only has two kids, who were both grown up and moved out, built a seven bedroom.mansion for him and his wife. It seemed excessive at the time, but if he wanted too why not. I always used to say to taxi drivers who brought me back after a night out that I didn't think they were large enough, and needed an extra storey. Always elected a laugh

I have 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, no kids and love it. I can afford it so why shouldn’t i?

My brother and his wife ( no children and sadly won't ever be ) have bought a 3 bed house - sitting room - study - family room leading on to the kitchen . DSIL wanted a sitting room ( tidy ) for guests , & they have their bedroom , another for guests and then 3rd bedroom ( essentially a box room , is use for storage and her craft hobby. ) They live in a place which is not expensive - so why wouldn't they - it suits them.

That's right, I'm not.

We have four bedrooms (3 kids, plus us) a full bath upstairs. Kitchen diner, living room, study downstairs. Basement office and laundry room. Definitely not hoarders 😀

Yeah. 200m2 in here is top notch stuff which is close to mil even in my cheap neck of woods. 😁

My mum is 70 and runs 7 miles a day. My day, 75 cycles 14 miles. Why should they give up their home in case one day they can’t manage the stairs. Also, their home is worth £500,000. It’s not some struggling family that’s going to buy it.

Believe it not we actually downsized from 4,800 square feet. None so pious as the new convert 😂

That's a professional footballer territory here😂

Not at all. Its just me and DH and 2 dogs and we have a 4 bed. I permanently WFH so have an office, my DH has his mancave and a guest bedroom. We love having the extra space and can afford it so why not?

In some cases a four bedroom modern house can be more practical than other types of property for older people. I mentioned earlier about our four bed and how we use it with dressing room and a hobby room, also a bedroom for our grandson when he stays with us (we look after him quite a bit). We decided we needed to think about our needs into our 70's (and wanted to be near family) so moved from a 3 bed period cottage that required constant maintenance with a very big garden and orchard to our four bed with a small-ish garden. We could turn one downstairs reception into a bedroom if needed and squeeze a downstairs shower in too, I think. We are now near a bus stop to the nearest major city, have pubs, post office, village shop, fish and chip shop and hairdresser all within walking distance. So if we couldn't drive any more we could still access what we need.

Our four bed was quite a bit cheaper and a bit smaller than our cottage which we sold to a couple from the Home Counties. Why would we want to be stuck in a small flat? My hobby is gardening and my husband is very creative - he's just finished a beautiful very large model railway. Being active and creative is important to us - and our set-up with our house enables that.

One big issue is that a lot of properties with fewer rooms are simply not designed for long term living. They are sold as a stepping stone ‘starter flat’ fgs.

We’re fully grown adults. I want to be able to have a small garden; outside storage / garage to support hobbies; a kitchen big enough to cook proper meals in and we need 2 bathrooms. I don’t think that’s unreasonable given I have the money to do so.

Thus DH and I find ourselves in a 4 bed detached. It’s not huge but has more rooms than we needed. That said, we now both WFH since pandemic and the space is fully utilised. If we ‘downsized’ DH would have to find office space 🤷‍♀️

I have zero intention to live in a dingy small flat. I intend to live in a beautiful spacious 2 bedroom flat, preferably one of those converted warehouse jobs with lots of character and huge arch windows where I can look down on the city lights and sip champagne. I am going to go to shows and pubs and art exhibitions and stay mentally young with my best friend living down the road.

that’s the plan anyway…

Something like this will do

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/124931966#/?channel=RES_BUY

Gosh, I didn't expect SO many replies in less than 24hrs!!!! To answer some questions:

• The house was empty for 8+yrs and in probate. Prior to that, next to no maintenance had been done on it for over 20yrs. It was uninhabitable and in need of complete overhaul from new roof down to new flooring and almost everything in between


• Of course other people had the chance to buy it. It had been on the market sometime, so I don't feel we took away a chance for a family with children to buy it


• Yes, technically its a 4 bed, but the 4th room is very small


• I was still having rounds of IVF when we bought it, hence thought we'd have at least 1 child.


• DH and I have both worked from home for years


• We anticipate at least one of our parents needing to move in with us in coming years


• The house is detached, on 1/3 acre plot. It has high ceilings, and 2 reception rooms, so I agree that it is a larger house/land compared to the 2 bed flat we had. Its significantly larger than the caravan we have been living in onsite for 2yrs too!