Not really my AIBU, but whilst it was quite amusing for 10 minutes the mexican stand off outside my house is starting to do my head in

[quicklybeendrivenmad]

Live in a small village, with small lanes, our lane is pretty narrow but the only straight one that the farmers can use to access the fields at the bottom.

The two farmers who own the land are two brothers who fell out when their parents died years ago, and have not spoken since.

Brother A coming up the lane with his combine. Brother B coming down the lane with his tractor and trailer, neither will reverse to allow the other to pass, this has now been 20 minutes and all I can hear is horns beeping, and the farmers shouting insults at each other via a third party (one of our neighbours) cars are having to reverse back onto the village green and access via another lane.

This is possibly the most British thread ever.

Great diagram!

I would personally join in the chaos and loudly play I’ve got a combine harvester on repeat till someone snaps.

Excellent diagram, gold star for you.

Very annoyed on behalf of lady needing internet to be fixed.

I thought the opposite as you're not supposed to reverse out onto a bigger street. Therefore the one coming up the smaller land has to reverse.

I wonder if they could just agree to flip a coin

@EmmaH2022

He said he'll see you next Tuesday!

Police also have the power to require a member of the public to assist them - which I would have thought in this scenario would have been the quickest, easiest and safest option since (as many PP have commented) there are probably plenty of people who could.

Insurance in such cases is under the Crown.

The fact they haven't makes me wonder if they are "sending a message" which policing 2022 seems to be all about ?

Love it. Lived in a village like this for nearly 20 years. Still miss it.

This is what they need!

Brother A has now come out his combine stating he was going to the pub for his tea cos he is bored needs a wee and is hungry police have detained him brother B is now revving his engine and asking police to remove the combine police have given him a last chance and yes police have officers on the way who can actually drive move these vehicles and hopefully clear the lane because I do need to go out tomorrow just luckily not today

Shame we're nowhere near, my dd would be having a field day. She's be playing peekaboo around the machinery with great glee!

A lot of police can’t remember the law theynlearned in training / get in a muddle about it and try to play safe…

Plus to be fair remembering what to do when a tractor and a combine have a stand off and the drivers refuse to get out probably isn't in their training specifically 😂

@ProfessorSlocombe there is some but most so old they could not even make it into the cab the rest of us would not have a clue and turns out the combine can cost about £200k plus extras and same for the tractor and trailer who knew it cost so much

I was going to suggest a hose pipe...
The sound of running water would make them need a pee

That or a table with on for the police/neighbours - but not the inconvenient CFs -Cheeky Farmers--

Good luck tomorrow - it might be worth moving your car to the green earlier in the day then walking, just in case they decide on round 2...

Oooooo sounds like I win! I predicted brother b would win

Ahhh haven't had a good rural conflict thread for ages. Thanks OP. Having a bit of a day but stopped for a cuppa and reading this has perked me up.

The scrotes that tour the country nicking them (or bits thereof) do.

I know police have specialist drivers. During another life in London, I knew quite a few who got called out to move various things that needed moving. This was when there was a good chance there might be an IRA bomb in it, and ordering a civilian to do it might have been problematic.

They also used to clear royal routes where (for obvious reasons) you couldn't ask people not to park in advance. Quite a few members of the public had a brief nasty surprise finding their car gone.

A lot of police can’t remember the law they learned in training / get in a muddle about it and try to play safe…

I didn't think that needed saying ...

Have actually provided cold drinks to the police officers here but tbf its getting beyond a joke luckily its the school holiday overwise would have been carnage as the primary school is in the middle of the village

DH has just started singing "I've got a brand new Combine Harvester..."

I have Wurzelitis.🤦‍♀️

Sounds like serious cake is needed. Where is the Interventionalist Branch of the WI when you need them?

I think taking the little old lady out is maybe taking things a bit too far 😉

sounds like The Zax from Dr Seuss. Maybe they'll be there in 20 years and they'll just build a roundabout around them

Please can this go into MN Classics? This is a (so far) short but very funny thread!