Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

@Housenoob who classes Towie as celebs?! I'm talking hollywood a-list 😆

Well done you as you said you only got a little and nothing wrong with doing that. I am 53 and would like a tiny bit of filler around dry lines down side of mouth.. My choice and my body. They are over reacting and after you posted what he said about the boobs, he has double standards. It is different when it is younger women who do not need anything done and getting fillers in face which I never would in cheeks and botox and all sorts soo young. Do not let them get you down and tell him to cop on. He is just jealous as you probably look far younger than him anyway.

It’s your face, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

A somewhat predictable Mumsnet trope that completely ignores the basic but very real nuances of being in a relationship.

Your face, your money, your choice. I see an absolute artist for a bit of subtle filler and Profhilo and have thrice yearly Botox. No one knows (I’d happily talk about it) but no one can tell I’ve had it done, I just get told I look great and young.

@MrsMo21

My DH likes me without make up.

I am always very wary of men who claim 'women look better without make up.' Because no woman ever does look better without make up. She may look fine without it, but will look better with it.

When a man says 'oh you look better without make up' to a woman, it suggests to me that he knows she looks better with it on, (in fact maybe quite stunning even,), and he doesn't want her to look stunning, in case other men fancy her. It's basically a form of control and manipulation when a man says 'you look better without make up.' Coz as I said - no woman does.

Thankyou!
Honestly just looks like I've got some lip plumper gloss on and I feel great!
After having some rubbish times it's nice to feel good - that's a treat as far as I'm concerned.

OMG I never noticed that!!! 😯

If my husband/partner came back starting to look like Liberace

^ this is the problem for me. Theoretically I’m all for your body your choice, but lip fillers are such a particular look and many people really dislike it. It’s not removing a few age related lines but retaining the essential you; it really does change the face, particularly in motion. We all unconsciously arrange ourselves in front of a mirror or camera lens and our brain adds to the deception by being susceptible to what we think we should be seeing, however everyone else sees us from multiple angles and talking and changing expression, lip fillers just look really odd but the person with them usually can’t see it.

If DH came home one day with arctic white Turkey teeth, an orange tan towelled face, and cheekbone implants I would be really distraught. It’s such a freaky look.

I can’t justify it but I understand their reaction.

When a man says 'oh you look better without make up' to a woman,

It generally means they like the "no makeup" makeup look

Exactly this. ^ it never ceases to amaze me the amount of posters who say on here 'you can do whatever the fuck you like, and fuck what your partner/husband thinks...'

It just goes to show that these people are either not in a relationship and never have been . OR they are in a relationship and they really don't give a shit about their partner's opinions. Not a relationship I could be in tbh.

FIWIW, and I’m not saying this to be cruel because it’s possible you’re right and it looks fabulous on you, but I have had to lie to SO MANY WOMEN about how good, and pretty, and subtle and not obvious their lip filler or Botox was. But if it’s a face I know I genuinely find it aesthetically horrific, pretty much every time especially filler or Botox around the mouth. They think it’s subtle, but to everyone else it’s so obvious, it often gives them a snarl in their lip or a trout pout or just throws the balance of their features off, and honestly it screams insecurity to me. I used to try to be gently honest, but I think they thought I was jealous or just trying to encourage them by saying they are lovely as they are. I truly find it difficult to look at though, so I would listen to your nearest and dearest even if they are being rude. Don’t apologise, it’s your face, but maybe accept it was a genuine response and don’t fill your face again.

this articulates my thoughts very well @Tasmanium
I don’t like looking at faces with Botox and fillers, I find it unnerving and sometimes there’s a lingering sadness especially when it’s a face I know.

A lady I work with used to look fabulous, took really good care of her hair and wore well fitting clothes etc but in the last few years she’s filled her face and it looks truly awful. Still a lovely lady but she just looks odd

Think this is very true.

Started late and made up time!

It's your body op, all the best and positivity

Hmm yeah. Puts me in mind of this.

On the basis that you didn’t get over 1ml the results will likely be very subtle after a few days. In my opinion, the ‘fake’ look comes from people then going back for more and more - an addiction of sorts.
It was your choice, your money and I’m glad you like them!

Because no woman ever does look better without make up. She may look fine without it, but will look better with it.

Nonsense

It's crazy to me that these things are now six monthly treats (the Botox) and you can choose lip fillers as an impulse buy.

If my partner, my friend, my sister/ mum did this I'd be disappointed/ sad/ furious about the huge differences in opinion.

I suspect let if their reaction is along the line if "you look gorgeous as you are, why do you need to feel that you have to follow some idealised version of how women should look, rather than understand how beautiful you already are"

People who are commenting about celebs having surgery and botox fillers they have overdone it and all those reality stars are doing so much not like this lady so leave her alone. She had a little bit of lip filler hardly gone overboard.. Do not say sorry to him as he wanted you to have an operation with risks for your boobs. He should not be putting his negativity onto your son that will shape how he treats women in the future, that is what I would be worried about. Enjoy your lips and wish could see them, if done subtly look great. Same as men who say they prefer their partners without make up, sure they do as they do not want anyone else looking at you.

fuck them all it’s your face and as long as your happy that’s all that matters , everybody looks ridiculous straight after it’s done I always look like I’ve had an allergic reaction for 3/4 days but after that it’s really subtle, you do you op they’ll get over it

Thankyou!
I had 0.5ml

SIGH....... 🙄 Never been in a serious relationship have you?

I have two friends who’ve had fillers but very very subtle, no trout pout. Many celebrities have them and you wouldn’t tell.

Sorry OP that you decided on the spur of the moment to do this and are facing serious ba lash at home and on this thread.

These things aren't "six monthly treats"
I personally choose to have Botox every six months or so as a treat to me!
Other people may have a facial/massage/golf membership/ a weekly cream cake - who knows?
I was just stating that it's MY six monthly treat, no judgement or opinion asked for on that!