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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Pleasecouldihavesomeadvice · 02/08/2022 22:49

Ignore them
They are probably just a bit shocked/surprised.

First time lip filler is always very subtle once it settles, but the swelling can be a shock.

It’s your money, your face and your choice!

ShadowoftheFall · 02/08/2022 22:50

RewildingAmbridge · 02/08/2022 22:40

How would you feel if your husband changed his face with an unnecessary procedure that can go very wrong? It seems like self harm to me, but maybe my view is biased, because I live in Essex where there are many people whose own mothers wouldn't recognise them anymore, it's like a form of body dysmorphia

Yes. Clearly it’s entirely your face, your choice. And I have no right to judge. Except that this is Mumsnet and you did ask. Seems like dysmorphia to me too.

Original poster
Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:53

TeapotTitties · 02/08/2022 22:46

Your repeated emphasis on the 'anger and fury' will make most people say YANBU.

It's your face but I kind of think I'd feel really disappointed in my DH if he gave himself comedy lips, even if it was temporary. However I wouldn't be 'furious' about it.

The most important thing is that you're happy though.

They really are angry and furious!
I don't mean to be dramatic.
My husband wouldn't eat his dinner and my eldest wouldn't kiss me good night!
I'd post a photo but it might be outing? Honestly they are very cross over what I feel is just a bit of a treat!?

OP posts:
milkyaqua · 02/08/2022 22:53

Looking after yourself and trying something new is buying a new shade of lipstick, perhaps in a more expensive brand.

You've had shit injected into your lips and if even your kids who are adult and exposed to this trend all around them think you look like a twit, then it is probably not the enhancement you imagine.

Siameasy · 02/08/2022 22:55

Mine wouldn’t be too happy, he hates that look. I do think it changes your face and I’d be upset if my DH got stuff injected into his lips to look all rubbery. Honestly it never looks good.

Arewerelated · 02/08/2022 22:56

They're rude and obnoxious. Tell them to fuck off OP

Original poster
Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:56

milkyaqua · 02/08/2022 22:53

Looking after yourself and trying something new is buying a new shade of lipstick, perhaps in a more expensive brand.

You've had shit injected into your lips and if even your kids who are adult and exposed to this trend all around them think you look like a twit, then it is probably not the enhancement you imagine.

My kids are 12 and under. It's only the eldest who is cross... probably because his dad is.
The others have zero idea anything or different.
I'm just trying to navigate wether to apologise to my husband or stand up for myself.
Interested to get peoples opinions wether I've done wrong doing something to myself without asking husbands opinion???

OP posts:
Tablechairtable · 02/08/2022 22:56

Yes double standards. The boob job would benefit him and no one else would see. Lips everyone can see. Its up to you its your body. If I wasn't so scared of it potentially going wrong then I'd have it done. Tell them to do one!

underneaththeash · 02/08/2022 22:57

It always looks quite trouty though…they probably just didn’t want you to look bad

floweringpoppies · 02/08/2022 22:59

The trouble is the fillers are always noticeable even once they've gone down. If it's a look you're happy with then fair play but I can understand their reaction!

tillyandmilly · 02/08/2022 22:59

Botox is fine but please no lip fillers they look hideous! I see older women with these duck lips and they look deformed - sorry….

TokyoTen · 02/08/2022 23:01

Your choice, but they are probably cross as it looks ridiculous.

whiteroseredrose · 02/08/2022 23:02

The problem is, you don't have to look at yourself. It's those around you that will keep having their eyes drawn to your trout pout.

My colleague used to have it done, and say that it was really subtle and barely noticeable. It really was! It was the first thing I noticed about her.

MrsMo21 · 02/08/2022 23:02

I’ve had my lips done. My DH wasn’t a massive fan but he likes me without make up, wet hair etc (bloody wierdo) never would he be furious though?! Mainly because he doesn’t own me and I’m an adult who can do as I please?

The massive overreaction is baffling to me - is he always so controlling/emotionally manipulative?

FWIW it doesn’t always look trouty and when done by the right person subtly can look nice. I always wonder why people are so judgemental of others choices on cosmetic procedures; not your body, not your problem.

Deadringer · 02/08/2022 23:02

You can do what you want, they can say what they want.

StarDolphins · 02/08/2022 23:03

I actually like a guy who is against lip fillers/Botox - however, suggesting a boob job is double standards.

I don’t like the look of lip fillers, even small amounts so I would definitely react in this situation, though I wouldn’t be furious because it’s your face so your choice!

LadyLolaRuben · 02/08/2022 23:03

Can you post a photo and crop it so we cant see your face, so its not outing?

Thinkingblonde · 02/08/2022 23:04

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:48

Well it's funny you should say that. Recently on holiday I commented on a lady next to us who had wonderful boobs. My husband was all up for me having a lift! I wouldn't go that far - to go under anaesthesia but he mentioned it later and said he'd be happy to pay.
Double standards?

Show quote history

Double standards alright. The lips were for you, to make you feel good, a treat.
The boob job would be for his pleasure, visual and sexual, hence him willing to pay for it. A full on GA surgical procedure and not without risks he would happily pay for.

Brigante9 · 02/08/2022 23:05

Yet he’s all for you having a breast lift? Major double standards, I’d be reminding him of that big time? Your body, your choice.

Sierra1961 · 02/08/2022 23:06

Ugh ignore your partner and eldest child, and also ignore the trout pout comment. I honestly think the judgement and hatred towards lip filler is totally unnecessary. OP has had a very small amount which, if done by someone skilled and reputable, will make a tiny difference and it’ll probably barely be noticeable once swelling has gone down. So shut the fuck up with the nasty and judgemental comments. I know plenty of people who have lip filler and if done correctly it looks lovely. Sounds like jealousy to me whenever I hear someone making the trout pout comments.

BellePeppa · 02/08/2022 23:06

I’m not keen on the fake fuller lips look and to be honest I don’t blame them for not being happy about it. If my husband/partner came back starting to look like Liberace I’d wouldn’t be too pleased. Not sure why posters are saying to tell him to eff off you can do what you like with your face, if he came back with face tattoos would you be expected to like it?

wellhelloitsme · 02/08/2022 23:06

Recently on holiday I commented on a lady next to us who had wonderful boobs. My husband was all up for me having a lift! I wouldn't go that far - to go under anaesthesia but he mentioned it later and said he'd be happy to pay.

Ugh what a prick!

GreenManalishi · 02/08/2022 23:06

Angry and furious is a bit strong, how would you feel if your husband came home from the barbers with his lips all swollen out of shape and bruised due to a new procedure he was trying? If you weren't expecting it? It might have been less of a shock for them if they'd had info prior about what to expect when they next saw you, what it would look like when it settled down, if it did settle down? Let them sleep on it, they will calm down when your face does.

royly · 02/08/2022 23:06

I don't know tbh. If my husband got filler in his lips & they were swollen etc Id probably dislike & comment on it too.

milkyaqua · 02/08/2022 23:07

My kids are 12 and under. It's only the eldest who is cross... probably because his dad is.

Oh, right. Assumed at 50 they would be older.

I don't think you have to apologise or stand up for yourself. But if your husband had gone and had his hair cut in a ridiculous fashion, you might mention it, or look askance every time you saw him, and tell him please don't do that again...

The fact they can notice this 'enhancement' suggests it is not as flattering as it feels and seems to you.

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