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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
LuckySantangelo35 · 14/08/2022 06:47

GettingStuffed · 05/08/2022 16:25

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps my husband definitely prefers me without make up, I don't look better with it, I look exactly the same but coloured in

@GettingStuffed

do you believe him though

I think men ofton say that because they think it’s what women want to hear

CloudCatz · 14/08/2022 10:35

IME, men say they like the "natural" look with "no make-up", but what they really mean is they like the natural-seeming makeup-looks they see on celebs or airbrushed photos in magazines, where the skin still looks all perfect and dewy, and there is definitely still makeup being used, albeit subtle enough for a man to think there is none.

LunchPoems · 14/08/2022 10:47

CloudCatz · 14/08/2022 10:35

IME, men say they like the "natural" look with "no make-up", but what they really mean is they like the natural-seeming makeup-looks they see on celebs or airbrushed photos in magazines, where the skin still looks all perfect and dewy, and there is definitely still makeup being used, albeit subtle enough for a man to think there is none.

I agree with this

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/08/2022 12:04

GettingStuffed · 05/08/2022 16:25

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps my husband definitely prefers me without make up, I don't look better with it, I look exactly the same but coloured in

@GettingStuffed

if you look “exactly the same but coloured in” with make up on I think you’ll be applying it wrong

makeup is literally designed to enhance and improve

FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 12:29

men say they prefer their wife’s “natural with no makeup” is because they will feel insecure if another man finds her attractive.

the only time a woman looks bad in makeup is if she’s applied it badly, used colours that don’t suit her skin tone and formulas that don’t agree with her skin type.

sorry not sorry!

LuckySantangelo35 · 14/08/2022 14:14

FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 12:29

men say they prefer their wife’s “natural with no makeup” is because they will feel insecure if another man finds her attractive.

the only time a woman looks bad in makeup is if she’s applied it badly, used colours that don’t suit her skin tone and formulas that don’t agree with her skin type.

sorry not sorry!

Totally agree

AnnieSnap · 14/08/2022 14:14

I take it the OP isn’t returning to tell her if her lips have gone down.

GettingStuffed · 20/08/2022 20:28

My husband prefers me with no makeup because he loves my mind and body

ReeseWitherfork · 20/08/2022 20:33

GettingStuffed · 20/08/2022 20:28

My husband prefers me with no makeup because he loves my mind and body

Do these things disappear if you put a bit of mascara on?

(Sorry, that was catty, but come on!)

pinkyredrose · 21/08/2022 10:02

GettingStuffed · 20/08/2022 20:28

My husband prefers me with no makeup because he loves my mind and body

Lol

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/08/2022 15:33

BellePeppa · 07/08/2022 08:20

Strange comparison.

Show quote history

Artificial adornment to the pure and natural body 🤷‍♀️?

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/08/2022 15:46

ReeseWitherfork · 20/08/2022 20:33

Do these things disappear if you put a bit of mascara on?

(Sorry, that was catty, but come on!)

Show quote history

@GettingStuffed

Thats what he tells you does he? Lol

my husband prefers me with makeup on because when I have makeup on my features and colouring are enhanced.

It’s just a fact - I look better with makeup. If he said he preferred me with no makeup, I would know he’s a liar and not trust him

men say shit like I like the natural you or I prefer you without makeup cos they think it’s what women want to hear. Not me though, I don’t bullshit lol

5128gap · 21/08/2022 16:08

GettingStuffed · 20/08/2022 20:28

My husband prefers me with no makeup because he loves my mind and body

Make up is typically worn on the face. I can't imagine where you were applying it for it to interfere with your husband's love for your body.

Musti · 21/08/2022 19:56

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/08/2022 15:46

@GettingStuffed

Thats what he tells you does he? Lol

my husband prefers me with makeup on because when I have makeup on my features and colouring are enhanced.

It’s just a fact - I look better with makeup. If he said he preferred me with no makeup, I would know he’s a liar and not trust him

men say shit like I like the natural you or I prefer you without makeup cos they think it’s what women want to hear. Not me though, I don’t bullshit lol

Show quote history

I have plenty of friends who look a lot better without make up or less make up. 100% of the people I know with Botox and fillers look better without.

my boyfriend prefers me without make up but I still wear it. Not always but half the time. When younger I wouldn’t have left the house without make up - even though it was quite subtle. I genuinely thought I looked pig ugly without it which isn’t true because I don’t use much.

malificent7 · 21/08/2022 19:58

Why do we all care what the men think. I got fillers for me. I dress the way i like as it makes me feel good.

malificent7 · 21/08/2022 20:00

I got fillers but I don't wear make up. I prefer botox/ filler look on ME but others might not agree...don't care. Others may prefer me blonde...i prefer brunette.

Busybeeble · 21/08/2022 21:16

I got fillers for me

Why on earth would anyone do that to themselves if it’s not about what other people see when they look at them though?

do what you like to your own face but don’t pretend it’s ‘for me’ like some sort of self care nonsense.

BTW: Most people don’t look at someone with fillers and think ‘good for them!’. Most of us are thinking ‘poor thing’.

5128gap · 21/08/2022 21:35

Busybeeble · 21/08/2022 21:16

I got fillers for me

Why on earth would anyone do that to themselves if it’s not about what other people see when they look at them though?

do what you like to your own face but don’t pretend it’s ‘for me’ like some sort of self care nonsense.

BTW: Most people don’t look at someone with fillers and think ‘good for them!’. Most of us are thinking ‘poor thing’.

Its about what I see when I look in the mirror. Weight loss changed my face in a way I disliked. It made me look miserable when I'm actually a happy person. My filler has given me back the face I recognise. No one looks at me and thinks 'good for her' as no one looks at me and knows. And I'd stake my house that no one looks at me and thinks 'poor thing'. Without wanting to sound too pleased with myself, I'm about as far from an object of pity as it's possible to be.

Angelinflipflops · 21/08/2022 22:06

I have no idea if my dh prefers me with or without make up, I've never asked him

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/08/2022 22:51

Once messaged DP (we dont live together) to ask if he prefers me with or without makeup. Not sure if he meant this or he just googled the "correct" answer!

"I dont mind either way but I prefer the subtle make up you wear over the really obvious stuff some women wear as it just highlights your features rather than over powers them"

Dont care if its bs, I'll take that!

shas19 · 21/08/2022 23:12

0.5ml is next to nothing, they're being ridiculous

Musti · 22/08/2022 14:49

malificent7 · 21/08/2022 19:58

Why do we all care what the men think. I got fillers for me. I dress the way i like as it makes me feel good.

Why would you get it for you? You get it for what other people think of you. So you look better for other people.

Do people dress up, put make up on etc if they’re home and no one is going to see them and you’re not going to post stuff on social media or not going to have online meetings?

I can’t imagine there are many people who do.

If I go to any effort to look more attractive it is 100% so I look better for other people. If I’m home on my own, my only prerequisites is that I’m comfortable and clean.

FlissyPaps · 22/08/2022 17:07

Musti · 22/08/2022 14:49

Why would you get it for you? You get it for what other people think of you. So you look better for other people.

Do people dress up, put make up on etc if they’re home and no one is going to see them and you’re not going to post stuff on social media or not going to have online meetings?

I can’t imagine there are many people who do.

If I go to any effort to look more attractive it is 100% so I look better for other people. If I’m home on my own, my only prerequisites is that I’m comfortable and clean.

Show quote history

Does it even matter why people do it? Why do you care? You sound absolutely ridiculous.

Personally, I love putting makeup on. Even if I’m not going anywhere. It’s an art form. I like experimenting with different colours, techniques and tools. Plus, I’m good at it. I enjoy it. Is that a crime?

No one cares that you do it to look more attractive for other people so why do you care about people doing it for themselves.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/08/2022 02:34

BTW: Most people don’t look at someone with fillers and think ‘good for them!’. Most of us are thinking ‘poor thing’

No - most people look at someone with fillers and don’t even know the person has had fillers?. The exceptions and look of a certain kind are what you notice

Foxgluv · 23/08/2022 02:53

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/08/2022 02:34

BTW: Most people don’t look at someone with fillers and think ‘good for them!’. Most of us are thinking ‘poor thing’

No - most people look at someone with fillers and don’t even know the person has had fillers?. The exceptions and look of a certain kind are what you notice

This exactly.

They're maybe a little ill informed on thses types of procedures. The horror stories in the media have conditioned people to think that filler is a big bad scary procedure, that will inflate your lips 3x their original size and you'll never return to your former self. Everything is sensationalised and of course, always from a negative perspective.

Your body, your choice. They're being ridiculous.