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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bit of Filler... husband furious!

677 replies

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:37

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Genderargh · 04/08/2022 20:21

Tbh as someone who has to have medical Botox I think anyone having it cosmetically is mental!
i agree with others too no matter how subtle it is, it’s always incredibly obvious as it changes the shape of peoples faces!
but ultimately if you’re happy with it then that’s all that matters

terribleteen1990 · 04/08/2022 20:42

I have a friend who has a very thin upper lip and her lip filler looks great. I also know someone who has overdone the botox and lip filler and IMO now looks like the lion out of wizard of oz (which is what I feel many who have overdone botox and lip fillers have morphed into). A plastic surgeon I know describes them as subspecies! Honestly, both these individuals are happy and content. It's your personal choice.

1982mommaof4 · 04/08/2022 20:47

terribleteen1990 · 04/08/2022 20:42

I have a friend who has a very thin upper lip and her lip filler looks great. I also know someone who has overdone the botox and lip filler and IMO now looks like the lion out of wizard of oz (which is what I feel many who have overdone botox and lip fillers have morphed into). A plastic surgeon I know describes them as subspecies! Honestly, both these individuals are happy and content. It's your personal choice.

I always thought Sylvester Stallone's mum looked like the lion out of the wizard of OZ

Morgysmum · 04/08/2022 21:10

Do they know that you have botox? It could be that the didn't realise you were having anything done, as the maybe didn't notice.
But because your lips are a bit swollen, they have noticed. You could maybe say, do you know I have been having botox now for x amounts of times? But decided to try lip fillers, to see what they are like. So what's the big deal? Men don't pay much attention.
I can that look, from applying lipstick, as I am allergic to it, so end up with swollen lips. But if you like it why not.

Beelezebub · 04/08/2022 21:40

He gets a say when you get filler in his lips

BakewellGin1 · 04/08/2022 21:54

I am 100% with your body your choice.

DH has came home from work with a beard/without a beard, hair longer/shorter or on the odd occasion. If he asked me before he did any of the above I'd think it odd. He's had new tattoos without discussion and I don't have an issue with it.

Same goes for me I've had long hair/short hair, obvious colour changes such as white blonde to bright copper. As long as I'm happy he's happy.

If I decided to have botox or lips done that would also not be up for discussion. I love him to bits but I'm not here to make please him with how I look.

bg21 · 04/08/2022 22:02

I'm with your husband and child on this one , lip fillers don't look good on anyone , plastic and fake and just gross really

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 04/08/2022 22:33

It's about communication OP. Yes it's your money, face etc but that doesn't mean not discussing things with your dh. As others have said, would you like it if he put of the blue turned up with steroidal biceps?
Mutual respect, communication and consideration for your partner goes a ongoing way.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 04/08/2022 22:40

Most have these done to look natural, which they think they do, when they actually don't.

Stilsmiling · 04/08/2022 23:24

I am wondering why your oh is happy to pay for you to get a boob job ie “filler” in your breasts, but isn’t happy that you paid yourself to have filler in your lips?

Your 12 year old’s reaction is likely because your oh reacted with such fuss. They are also at an age where parents embarrass them by merely breathing so getting your lips done could send them over the edge 😂

Ultimately it’s your body, your money so your choice. Some people get their lips done and it’s very obvious and looks like they’ve been punched in the mouth. Others are more subtle. Each to their own 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think your oh needs to wise up and act like an adult. He needs to explain exactly what he has an issue with.

NannaKaren · 04/08/2022 23:25

You are a grown up and they can get
over it.
worth the aggro if YOU are happy xxx

wentworthinmate · 04/08/2022 23:39

After two days you’ll not even know you had it done. That’s my experience anyway. Just doesn’t last on me, Botox however, fabulous dahling!!!

GingerWit · 05/08/2022 00:19

Bonnie7 · 02/08/2022 22:41

No all my own money, that's not an issue at all. H

Tell your husband if he had a bit of filler maybe he wouldn't look as constipated as he sounds, and he's right in saying you look like something off Towie, so you're gonna go find yourself a Towie boy to match your Towie appetite 😉 x

OldnKnackered · 05/08/2022 01:43

Fillers, especially in that area, always look very swollen the first 3 days as it’s a very vascular area. It will go down a lot. Also the first time you have lip fillers your body absorbs up to about 30% of the filler so it’s never as big as you’d think anyway. The reason people always think lip fillers look awful is because you only notice bad fillers. If it’s done well it should look natural. In a few days it’ll go down and they won’t be so bothered. I do think it’s an overreaction tho to be so annoyed. I’ve had Botox and fillers before and my husband hasn’t even noticed. The one time I did have my lips done it was awful for 3 days and he said if it doesn’t go down we’re in divorce territory, and after that it went down completely and he said what was the point you look exactly the same! If it’s at a point in a week where you don’t like it, it’s too much, you can have it dissolved as it’s hyaluronic acid which is naturally occurring in the body anyway. I think they’re overreacting but maybe education is key here. Just explain to them how harmless it is, it will go down dramatically, and that it wears off.

TooHotToTangoToo · 05/08/2022 07:08

If you like it op and it makes you feel good then that's all that matters.

Your dh and dc are entitled to their opinion, but sulking, refusing to eat dinner with you, kiss you goodnight is just plain old manipulative behaviour. 'I don't like what you've done, therefore I shall punish you by removing my company' childish and controlling, also looks like he's teaching his dc to do the same. He could easily have expressed his opinion without all the other behaviour and chances are you'd be more receptive to a suggestion of not doing it again.

Please don't apologise to them

malificent7 · 05/08/2022 07:13

Sexism is still alive and well.

JanisMoplin · 05/08/2022 07:22

Sexism is certainly alive and well when women risk infection and illness by shooting themselves full of toxins and men then suggest boob jobs.

OhMerde · 05/08/2022 07:28

Bonnie7 · 03/08/2022 11:01

I never said I felt 15!!
I'd hate to be 15.
Funny how people read what they want to and discard the actual truth!

Show quote history

You literally said in your 1st post, I feel like I'm 15 again.

Inwiththenew · 05/08/2022 07:28

Have you ever looked at someone else in the mirror? It’s not quite the same as how they look unreflected. You’re looking in 2D in the mirror everyone else sees 3D.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 05/08/2022 07:42

Mumsnet: God fat people are utterly disgusting. Let's all talk about how grim they are.

Also Mumsnet: I just can't understand why women feel the need to undergo procedures to alter their bodies.

Daffi · 05/08/2022 07:44

It's your face, your choice to look stupid.

DillonPanthersTexas · 05/08/2022 07:48

The reason people always think lip fillers look awful is because you only notice bad fillers. If it’s done well it should look natural.

No, generally speaking people who know you do notice though, they might not think the work is 'awful', more a case of just being observant enough to spot the change in your appearance. Most folk are just too polite to say 'have you had your lips done?' to your face, instead they will be chatting about it in private (as I have witnessed dozens of times). If, as it has been laboured on here, such fillers or botox are so 'subtle' , 'natural' and 'barely noticeable', even by your DP and close friends then what's the point of having the treatment?

DillonPanthersTexas · 05/08/2022 07:52

Mumsnet: God fat people are utterly disgusting. Let's all talk about how grim they are.

I'm pretty sure if anyone made a comment like that on here they would be jumped on.

alwaysfactor50 · 05/08/2022 07:53

@VyeBrator I agree that the picture @CloudCatz posted isn't natural. You can definitely tell as they have the weird shelf look.

I was at a wedding the other week and a woman in her late 20s walked in and looked like she had a white moustache due to the reflection of light bouncing off her lip shelf 🤣. But each to their own 🤷🏼‍♀️

LuckySantangelo35 · 05/08/2022 08:18

Yeah yeah we get it, to some of you all fillers look “vile”, are “awful”, injecting “shit” into your body, blah blah

But…lRegardless of your views on filler are people really thinking it’s ok that OP’s husband has had such a tantrum, refused to eat his dinner in protest like a pathetic man child and is no doubt influencing the behaviour and responses of his son who really shouldn’t give that much of a shit the age of 12

Are women here so consumed by contempt for those women who get fillers that they think this kind of behaviour from men is ok?!?