Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

Did you just compare fat to plastic surgery?😂

Nope. That does not work unless you are talking about someone who got themselves pumped full of it in a surgery🤷🏻

But noce try to deflect (knowing how mn feel about fat)

I’m sorry if my husband changed his face and didn’t mention he was going to do it I’d be pretty put out. Obviously it affects him that you’ve changed yours. It’s the face he’s lived with for years and years. We’re human, our faces are part of the reason we’re attracted to one another - to change it suddenly not necessarily for the better is pretty full on. The people on here implying it’s some kind of feminist issue are ridiculous.

Hmm @Bonnie7 - if your husband/child as an adult decides to get filler, would you say fine, their body/their choice - and would you say nothing if you noticed/were unhappy with their choice?

I’m the same age as you - and although tempted by magazine pics etc, I’m not going to have procedures. I don’t like the idea that I need to compare (you said about the boobs) myself unfavourably. I’m just ‘me’ - and you sound like you’ve achieved great things with your 4 children. So you’ve clearly got an amazing body and a lot to be proud of.
There is beauty with every age - my Mum is in her 70’s - she is beautiful. She swims everyday, gets outside, eats healthily - laughs. Those things to me scream beauty - not fillers and enhancements etc.

I agree

So, who gets to decide which enhancements are acceptable and which aren’t?

Braces? Hair dye? Make up? Semipermanent makeup?

This

Good for you OP! Hope the swelling goes down soon and you’re happy with the end result. Considering a bit of Botox and fuller here or there myself. It’s your face and their problem! Enjoy!

Also - my husband came home with his ear pierced the other day and I didn’t bat an eyelid. It’s his ear - and if I wanted to go out and get something done to my own body I would be miffed if he has anything to say about it at all.

If my husband did this…I would be really upset…if he hadn’t mentioned it…you love a person…that includes how they look…to find their face different would freak me out…if he hadn’t said before what he was planning.

Maybe not consumed with contempt….just find it a bit sad.

Only on MN are the risks of hair dye and lippy compared to Botox and fillers. They are not comparable. I have never seen anyone on S and B complain that their lips are wonky because they put on the wrong shade of lippy. I have seen panicky posts by posters whose filler has migrated and people advising them to have it redone.
What next, comparing a blow dry to a face lift? It's so disingenuous.
As to who decides, how about the NHS? They have a page devoted to the risks of these procedures. None devoted to thr right shade of foundation.

Your face, your money, your choice. However, I think DP & I would both be upset with each other if we did it without discussion.

I also don't find them at all attractive and wouldn't want to kiss you or sit opposite you to see you eat or drink until they'd been dissolved. It would really put me off my partner.

I think the insanity is that we are led to think it makes us look better when it mostly leaves faces looking weird and odd. So many other ways to look good, diet, water exercise etc.

Michael Jackson was surrounded by sycophants and look what he did to himself. The people that love you most are offering you truth. So it may be worth listening. Cosmetic surgery is not just cosmetic surgery, it’s a statement about your self-esteem, character and happiness. So it impacts on everyone that cares about you.

My partner did exactly the same. I asked him when did he become in charge of my appearance?! I've continued to have my lips done, I get them topped up now. He always smirks when he sees I've had it done - nasty bastard. But I like it - and I don't care what he thinks. You do you - but if you like them at the swollen stage, you'll want a bit more next time! X

@MrsToothyBitch

Urgh how precious are you??

You couldn’t sit opposite OP whilst eating and drinking?! Would the sight of her offend your delicate disposition so much??

GET.A.GRIP

@NickHS

lol cop on to yourself!

I don’t think OP is going to become like Michael Jackson

I would be telling them to fuck right off. You do you!

The amount of people on here thinking they need to seek their husbands approval/ permission first. Yikes!

That amount of people is ZERO. So why yikes?

The people who supposedly 'love the most' in OPs case act as though she is invisible. Her H admires other women's breasts and would be happy for OP to go through far more intensive procedures than a little filler in order to emulate them. This man is not offering gentle truths because he loves her. He is furious, and employing passive aggressive techniques to punish her for doing something he didn't agree to. The OP has had a tiny amount of filler. She is a grown woman with a mirror, and is happy with her appearance. If it's a choice between the 'truth' she sees in the mirror and the one offered by this man and the son who apes him, I know which I would trust.

I don’t think OP is going to become like Michael Jackson

I don't think so either but there is kernel truth insofar as not many people are going to have the courage to criticise you to your face if said cosmetic procedures end up looking sub optimal.

The amount of people on here thinking they need to seek their husbands approval/ permission first. Yikes!

Nobody here has demanded that a woman needs their husbands approval or permission. Just people articulating the opinion that if you are going to have an appearance altering cosmetic procedure it would be considerate to discuss or at least inform your partner of said procedure first, I imagine something people in a loving respectful relationship do. If the 'I can do what I want and tell him to fuck off' brigade really do communicate with their partners in such a way then it is a bit pathetic.

@SexyLittleNosferatu is bang on the money.

Do you genuinely not understand how fat shaming is part of the same oppressive culture which shames women for not having the perfect body shape (for that year's fashion), perfect size boobs (for that year's fashion), perfect face, hair etc? Or are you one of those posters who fat shames women and pretend its all concern about health?

’Cop onto yourself’ - a phrase I had to look up. Yes. Somewhat daft of me to widen the discussion. I failed to read the room.