Bit of Filler... husband furious!

[Bonnie7]

Aibu?

Went for my 6 monthly Botox treat today and decided to have a tiny bit of filler in my lips.
They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!
Well my husband and eldest child have gone absolutely mad at me. They can barely look at me!
They are furious!
I can't believe my appearance causes them so much anguish when they barely look at me in normal circs!
Said I look like I'm off TOWIE trying to be 20 and ridiculous...
Husband is really really cross. I feel like I'm 15 again!
I by the way, love it!
Just turned 50 and have 4 kids...

I just felt like looking after me and trying something new.
Aibu - it's up to me? My face, my choice?!?

Definitely this the very words I would have used. He can mind his own😎

so funny do you! Just wear a face mask in public until swelling has gone down. They probably are abit embarrassed with a mom that’s gone for the kardashian effect but will get used to it lol

Hopefully your lips don't look like these: After watching an episode of Botched on TV where a trans woman had filler inected into her face which transpired to be concrete and which congealed in lumps under the skin, I stick with the old and wrinkled look.

Well you're a pleasure, FYI I'd rather be a chav as you say than an uptight dickhead

I wonder if the comments would be the same if you'd had a really short haircut or something like that. I suspect not. It's people's dislike of these procedures that is forming their opinion here. Much like the haircut, where I would imagine most people would say your husband was being unreasonable in that situation, the filler won't be there forever. It's not something that is permanent, like the bad example of the face tattoo. I think your husband and son have been completely over the top and on your husband's part it's quite controlling and hanging up with your child is just childish to the extreme. I'd be really pissed off with him if I were you.

@AussieMozzieMagnet I know plenty of women and men who have fillers and look fine. They don't have giant fake looking lips but if they did it's up to them.

What I find really, REALLY odd - why wouldn’t you discuss this in advance. Did you just come home looking weird.
Forget “My money My choice” how about
“I’d like, what do you reckon”

Theres an odd double standard on mumsnet:

If a man 'lets himself go' then poor wife is totally just in not being sexually attracted to his lazy ass, she should just leave him for being fat, bald and gross.

If a woman 'gains a bit of weight' or changes something like lip fillers then how dare her husband mention it, her body not his business because clearly a husband is not allowed to find something unattractive.

How is it’s up to him or your son to decide what you do with your body?

Tell them to piss off.

IMO it's a slippery slope , one which gets slippier with time. The problem is that once the "new improved" you becomes the every day you you won't recognise yourself when the effect starts to wear off and you will gradually increase the volume of filler you receive each time. Then , because your muscles around the mouth are stuck in pout position, you will notice the fine lines getting worse...but its OK, another wee jab can put that right..... Does anyone else ever think...that plastic surgeon/aesthetician needs to learn to say no to some clients ? Rather than just filling their pockets.

As others have said, it's your face, your money , your choice but I'd just be happy knowing I'm loved au naturel

Lips are a big no no to have done before speaking to one’s other half as they might not feel comfortable kissing you after you have it done. I understand why your child and other half don’t like it. Sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture and not just ourselves when it comes to “feeling good” treatments.

"They are currently swollen and look bigger than they will in a few days - but by no means a trout pout!"

It's this though, isn't it? It puts you in the uncanny valley for the family. They'll get over it.

Maybe it’s the sudden and unexpected change?

My DH wet shaved his head once and it looked appalling. It wasn’t helped by the fact his face was brown and his head a blinding and shiny white. I was really angry for a couple of days, probably more than I should have been but I think it was partly down to the shock. I bet they calm down in a few days and at the end of the day if you like it then that’s the main thing.

I'd be questioning your self esteem if you need to resort to fillers.

You're perfect without it

I honestly don’t know how I feel about it

Part of me is all it’s your body, do what you want.
The other part of me would be seriously upset if dh shaved off his beard and this is one of the reasons I haven’t pierced my nose because I know he feels the same about that.
I also don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone it looks good on. I know several people who’ve had it done and they’ve loved it, claiming they love how natural it looks when I haven’t thought it looked natural at all.
But his double standards are annoying.
And it’s done now so not much that can be done.

Yes, your choice.

A good choice?

Before I read this I would have said it was nice they prefer you’re natural look. But a boob job?! I think I would leave my husband if he suggested that!

How many mls are we talking here? There is a huge difference in a little plump and a trout pour but even if you wanted the latter look that’s up to you!!! My mum (even tho I’m in my mid 30s) still gets upset and doesn’t speak to me for a few weeks when I have it done. I have to avoid her until the swelling goes down and then she doesn’t notice the ‘top up’ anyway. I find lots of the posts above VERY bullying. Other posters obviously know nothing about aesthetics. I personally feel as long as you go to a fully insured and trained MEDICAL professional (registered nurse ect) you are actin responsibly. I believe in you face your choice.

Absolutely awful, classist, patronising & uncalled for comment. Bet you’re no oil painting yourself.

This is below the belt and totally not your place to be saying.

We all have insecurities. But the poster who asked how many mls is right how many mls OP?

There's also a huge huge difference between TELLING your DH your going for botox and asking for permission the 2 have been totally mixed up on the thread.

This isn't true.

Far often than not, if a woman posts about no longer being physically attracted to him as a result of massive weight gain, the comments are overwhelmingly that she is superficial, must not love him, is cruel to not find him attractive - with no limitations, whether he's put on 1.5 stone or 15 stone.

So no moisturisers or creams which have a degree of absorbency or retinol? No anti spot creams or exfoliating lotions?

I'm interested to know how people feel confident in being so staggeringly judgemental about some temporary modifications see no hypocrisy in using others.

Speaking as someone who has never even had my nails done professionally or anything more exciting than a trip to the hairdresser I'm fascinated when people are so incredibly judgemental about lip fillers and certain other treatments whilst happily piling on the cosmeceutical lotions and creams, hair colour and nail jobs.

Seems to me to have a lot to do with class snobbery about perceptions of certain types of modification.

Would you be so 'angry' you refused to eat dinner, like OP's partner? It's a really strange and childish reaction on his part.

@FlissyPaps

Don't worry, that poster has a long history of expecting women to capitulate to men, take on all chores and childcare etc.

Archaic and depressing!