You seem to have taken a dislike to a bunch of parents, mashed a lot of different things together that aren’t particularly connected and labeled them so you can feel better about yourself.
From a social services perspective, scruffy, dirty, barefoot kids aren’t a problem if they actually have shoes that fit, clothes that get washed and a shower when needed. And this is true on a council estate too. If social workers are sent to your door because your kids look scruffy but you can show them they have clean clothes available and shoes that fit but are just out having fun for the day, the SW is going to close the case wherever you live. If you have no clothes, their shoes don’t fit and the kids haven’t had a bath in two weeks, it’s going to be a bit different.
I do think there is class prejudice against families in poverty and middle class parents have some privilege in the eyes of many. It’s also more difficult for a parent who is having to choose between heat/food/rent some weeks to make sure the kids have clothes and shoes that fit and that’s a problem even though it’s not because the parents aren’t trying.
But none of that makes the “Bohemian” parent lazy and the council estate parent hard working (or vice versa). Believing your children will do better in life if they can work most things out for themselves isn’t particularly lazy, there’s plenty of other stuff that parents who believe that might be doing that is hard work. Some of which is “parenting” like going places with them that help them explore, spending time with them cooking or whatever, reading with them, etc. Some of which isn’t - like developing their career or pursuing their own interests or helping others. Similarly, putting kids into organized activity a lot isn’t particular hard working (but it is another thing it’s easy to do if you have money), putting your kids in activities after school or on a weekend might be a matter of you running around after them or making sure you can fit in a shift at work. Or it might be your excuse to sit on your phone without lots of screaming and incessant questions.
Similarly thinking homework isn’t a particularly good way to develop intellectually isn’t necessarily any lazier than simply insisting homework gets done. You might not insist on homework and just tell the kids to watch reality TV all evening, or you might spend the time playing games with them, encouraging them (and then, godforbid watching!) a play. You might send them out into the garden to run around, or take them somewhere you think they’ll see a meteor shower. Help them build a pond. Read and introduce them to books you love. And so on. None of which is lazy even if you’re also letting them do a lot of it on their own. And a parent who values homework might not do any more work than insist the kids sit at the table for an hour while they’re making dinner and never think about how to get their kids thinking about the world around them or engage with them beyond pushing them to complete something set by someone else.
Of course, most people are going to be between those extremes and just muddling along, not Tiger mum, and not uncaring, just dying to balance everything. But one approach isn’t necessarily lazier than the other.
And none of that is correlated with teaching kids manners. Plenty of parents fail to teach their kids manners whether they let them run around barefoot and investigate worms or drive them to soccer every Saturday and make them learn their spellings (and even if they do all of that).