Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

[Naturelover5]

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

..i also expect they’re not ‘lefty’. Why does this bother you?? I think you’re being v judgemental tbh x

Yes if that learning style suits them. However for most children that would be hell on Earth and would result in an even further drop in interest in school and education.

There’s a massive difference between a ‘liberal-left’ as you put it and the dickensian attitudes you describe. I would not want my kids learning like that and I’m very far from the parenting described on here.

The only thing your post achieves, OP, is it make it very clear what your politics and prejudices are. Embarrassingly, toe-curlingly clear.

@BlackBagABorderBinLiner ‘ trust funded and conservative in a Zac Goldsmith way’ brilliant description

playing at being poor and struggling until it really matters 🤔

Agree with the bad manners. The parents who raise their children like this are often slack when it comes to teaching kids basic manners. Rude children then grow up to be rude adults.

You are basically describing St George’s Hill

@lightand Usual sort of thing - aimiable, articulate, employed ... They do both spend a huge amount of time primping their facial hair though, so there is probably some residual scarring from all that childhood abuse!

Nothing 'lefty' about them. More likely Tory - have you seen pictures of the semi-feral Bojo in his infancy?

I loathe these parents. They are fabulously wealthy but their kids run around barefoot with encrusted snot on their nostrils. I remember watching one crawling baby put ring pulls and cigarette butts in her mouth in the play park while her mother reead a novel. When I told her she just said, 'Oh,' and smiled superciliousl;y as though I was some idiot helicopter parent. I felt so bad for her baby but I refused to play nanny to her just because the mother thought mouthing rubbish from the grass was creative play.

You’d hate me with my liberal leaning ways and my scruffy home educated children. They have their own minds and dress themselves. Only time they’ve been known to ‘match’ has been at a funeral. I get daily compliments with how polite they are and a pleasure to be around 🤷‍♀️
As an aside I can’t bare Prosecco, but a pint of real ale goes down a treat. The kids that are awful round our way are those that belong to second home owning families, who dump them out of their discoverys on the beach with Waitrose bags full of booze and bbqs, who conveniently can’t possibly carry anything home and wreck our coastline to have a beach bonfire.
Definitely Conservative voters. Because they don’t care. (Sweeping statement full of sarcasm in case anyone gets offended 😂)

@Embarras83 is it is a sign of neglect that a child’s whites have greyed slightly because their parents haven’t separated the colours? Of all the ridiculous criticisms on this thread, that must be the silliest.

Well all the middle class parents I know have their kids very busy with activities so think you are mistaken there. However, you are correct that people who can project the right appearance will get away with more than someone with less money etc. That has always been the case and it is the society we live in, unfortunately.

Middle class doesn’t drink Prosecco or Cava. That’s a working class drink.
The children you likely saw were not bohemian middle class, sorry

The punctuation alone would suggest that it is the OP who has been 'quaffing' too much of the 'seccy'.

I think middle-class people do drink Cava but not prosecco - there is a difference don't you know....

I'm dead common and Cava is the only sparkling wine I drink .

Whilst MC sensibilities are still very recognisable, I think things have changed a lot in recent decades. For example, being MC has always been associated with relative financial comfort but nowadays the average tradesperson earns circa £10k more than the average graduate (£42k vs £32k).

Of course, a degree is still likely the best choice for the high flyer type as it's unlikely you'll attain a £100k salary doing a trade job unless you own the company (not the case with traders and surgeons etc) but for the majority of people in the middle, those in trade jobs are usually better off. For example, average salary for a bricklayer was £42,034 as of last month and in London they're earning £90k.

Op these parents I think are everywhere in concentrated areas. A studied and purposeful decision not to wash the children, for the dddc to be ‘wild’ and true to nature and ‘free range’, Which is truly lovely when they are six - and chomping with mouths wide open, muddy filthy boots in the bedroom and wild garlic crunched into the sofa - however - no one talks about the fact they grow into wild teenagers with no discipline whatsoever, unable to complete anything and think it’s nothing to lose a tooth or two after a few craft ciders. Without direction they study classics, and usually roam around having their eyes prised open before becoming an estate agent in a country location counting down the days to mother expires so they can finally attain some quality of life.

Cava is what we used to buy as students to spray each other with post exams

Yes, there is a difference one is Italian fake champagne and the other Spanish fake champagne.

What were you actually hoping to achieve from this post? Most parents punish themselves enough and question their parenting choices enough without some other parent judging them because their kid is allowed to have a voice doesn't look like they stepped out of the monsoon catalogue every second of the day. Hopefully your kids learn not to judge si superficially but given your post I don't hold out much hope...

I don't agree at all with the 'lefty' assumption, but what really annoys me are mc parents who indulgently describe their kids as 'feral' like it's a badge of honour. If wc kids displayed the exact same behaviour those mc parents would be the first to label them as delinquents.

free range darling, not feral, free range

OP you’ve just posted the most ignorant thread of the year. We’ll done.

If I posted the same about the feral, dirty , not ridden kids from my local council estate I would expect to get roundly flamed. And I would deserve it too.

The MC don’t drink prosseco anymore. Nor do they send their kids to private school or called them Rupert. Find some other shallow cliches to use.

What?! Is that a popular reference? I’ve never heard it. I thought it had something to do with sex. Urban dictionary says it’s something to do with sexiness.

I have met some parents who basically take the view that as long as you give them lots of freedom, they will turn out great.

It's usually a disaster. Even the kids who turn out well, because they are fairly naturally well behaved, are not done any favours. Lots of kids really struggle without boundaries.

It seems like they are generally politically progressive.

The thing with the scruffy clothes is interesting. I know a couple of well off parents who fit that mold to some degree who take that approach, their kids are wearing these clothes that are almost ostentatious in their weird scruffiness. I think maybe it is supposed to suggest a disinterest in expensive consumer goods and conventions. The parents themselves are often quite well dressed so maybe it's about trying to have it both ways.