Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

[Naturelover5]

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

My DD looked quite Boho when she was in nursery and often wore mismatched clothes because she chose her own clothes and dressed herself from about 2. She was a pain about eating and awful at going to bed (not for want of trying every routine under the sun) I chose to not to make clothes another battle.
DS often looked scruffy, even in clothes that i dressed him him in, clean on half an hour previously!!
But they weren't free range, I helped with homework and I didn't leave them to their own devices when they were young, so don't think I was especially lazy but you might have thought it just from looking at them

Well it wouldn't be the first time, certainly 😁

Can't stand bare-foot. DP goes out in the garden barefoot sometimes and then comes back in and sits down on the sofa like it's fine. I say you have dirt on your feet... Go and rinse them? I find it really disgusting.

All sounds like a chapter of a Jilly Cooper novel I once read!

This is it. It's all about status, even if not consciously. The working class keep their children neat & tidy so as not to be mistaken for 'problem' families, the underclass.
The middle/upper classes don't need to worry about this. By letting their children be messy & untidy they are signalling this fact, i.e. that they're not working class.

Actually I think this might be nailing it.

I've been a teacher for over 25 years in a pretty wide variety of schools. Let's just say that the stereotypes painted on this thread, relating certain social classes and lifestyles to the good or poor behaviour of kids does not at all tie in with what I've witnessed in the classroom or outside it.

what sort of person believes that council estates still exist?

.... Have you never been to London?

Quaffing seccy?! Hilarious!!!
Best description on the thread.Gas made my 😆

Grr.

Has made me 😆

This is it. It's all about status, even if not consciously. The working class keep their children neat & tidy so as not to be mistaken for 'problem' families, the underclass.
The middle/upper classes don't need to worry about this. By letting their children be messy & untidy they are signalling this fact, i.e. that they're not working class.

This is definitely true to an extent. However, behind the superficial scruffiness and casualness the mc parents usually are making an effort with their dc (contrary to what the OP said) by giving them the cultural capital and help to succeed (including with their homework, whether the parents agree with in principle or not).

I've seen the same in places.

It continues on up until they become MPs and Prime Ministers... entitled liars.

I can’t get past ‘seccy’ 🤦‍♀️

I hope I never meet your judgement. My kid wears bright clothes so I can spot him - he'll often choose his own mix of colours too, rides his bike/hikes/swims every day so clothes rarely stay clean and I refuse to was 400 outfits a day.

We live very rurally and spend most of our time outdoors. I work outdoors too, sometimes he comes with me. We rarely have time for TV.

We're currently on holiday hiking / riding / exploring the mountains whilst living in a van and 90% of the kids are like him. Sod bare feet, loads of kids play in streams butt naked here and noone cares. It's very different to the UK 🤣 (probably outing if you know me).

I worked closely with social services for a long time. If parents were educated and had money they got away with behaviour that would involve stern talks from the social workers if the family were poor. Was in Norfolk recently, the place was heaving with posh parents with zero control over their kids.

Bet they’re anti-Vax too

Threads like these make my day.
Far more entertaining than anything on telly/TV

BTW, which is the middle or working class phrase? Telly or TV ?

TV. ‘Telly’ is ironic and patronisingly affectionate.

Slightly baffled by what their political views have to do with it. I am a Labour voter and am definitely not 'bohemian' and not do ignore my kids whilst quaffing prosecco.

There is no such thing as “ an upper class area” - unless you’re suggesting there are castles and palaces all set out in neat rows!

And what about the gruesome “telly box” or worse, “telebox”?

yes but until the wretched exam-driven educational system is overhauled, without homework kids get left behind and won't pass the 11+. When i asked the teachers at my daughter's primary (inner city, state) about assigning more homework please, i was told that it wouldn't be 'fair' because many of the other children's parent wouldn't be able to help with it the way i and my DH can. It was a very mixed school -1/2 from council estates, 1/2 kids of the great and good upper middle class. So, if an academically precocious kid from a school like this has no homework, s/he will not be competitive in exams with the private school kids, who are overloaded with homework. So what did we do? Of course, hired tutors to keep her stimulated and eventually to prepare her for exams. The entire system is messed up and inequitable.

Oh god. A few years ago my barefoot daughter cut her foot on some glass in Brighton

i do prefer cava to seccy though —if no real champagne is available—

Where do you stand on the possessive apostrophe?

Genuinely laughed out loud!

What a load of lazy generalisations. I am extremely leftie. Was a very engaged and supportive parent who heavily encouraged my children who have just graduated with great results and both have places on masters courses. I teach secondary. It's ravaged by budget cuts which makes me even more leftie

OP are you a tory twat who is competetive about your mediocre hothoused kids...if we are embracing stereotypes?