Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

[Naturelover5]

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

Sorry sure many people have already said this but please don't conflate left wing politics with neglectful parenting.

I would comment further but your whole post just sounds scathing and exaggerated to the point where it is simply a dig at people rather than any genuine concern or even musing/discussion

Our local bohemian parents were instrumental in setting up an unpopular failed free school. Occasionally the kids would take part in normal local stuff but art and music experts were generally co opeted or bought in.
Trust funded and conservative in a Zac Goldsmith way, when proper A levels were needed, their kids were shunted off to Bedales. Hope they picked up some manners there.
The parents genuinely do see stuff through a privileged lens - they borrow but dont return, assume rather than ask. Its amazing to witness and not popular around here.

We love a proper working class campsite, neat as a pin and the big man yelling 'shut the fuck up' at 11:15pm so we can all get some sleep. Hate the middle class Prosecco chat circle keeping us all up.

Misses point of thread!

I'm a lefty. I have free range kids (one scruffy one), as in they roam about and have a fair bit of screen time, but I'm strict as fuck at home and take it as a personal badge of honor that they 'are a delight to teach' and 'you can take them anywhere'.

Would I fuck go camping though.

And I hate homework. Setting it, chasing it, making my kids do it. Why do I set it? Because parents phone to complain if we don't.

My point is that this bohemian approach is actually a cover for lazy, neglectful parenting.... It's not creative or arty just lazy... It doesn't take long to wash a child's face, ensure it's nails are clean & comb it's hair.. ensure it's clothes don't have holes (obviously if you can't afford it that's different)... It's basic care & hygiene...

As long as they are clean I don't think the mis-matched clothes matter. As long as it isn't matted I don't think ruffled loose hair really matters either. I do think kids shuold just be kids and there isn't enough unstructured play or playing out these days where kids have to use their own imaginations to come up with stuff instead of being handed activites or told what to do.

It sounds like you thnk they are neglected though which is a different matter.

My point is that this bohemian approach is actually a cover for lazy, neglectful parenting.... It's not creative or arty just lazy... It doesn't take long to wash a child's face, ensure it's nails are clean & comb it's hair.. ensure it's clothes don't have holes (obviously if you can't afford it that's different)... It's basic care & hygiene...

Again, what does any of this have to do with left wing politics?

Can I just clarify something here? Free-range parenting is about letting your kids have appropriate independence and skills, not about not parenting because you can't be arsed. And not about not teaching them basic manners. So what these parents are doing is not 'free range parenting', if it really is as you say it is

I do think there's neglect but it's being gloss over as a parenting philosophy rather than just admit they're being slack parents...

I’d rather see more kids barefoot and not in shoes that aren’t even shaped like feet. Your big toe isn’t meant to curve towards the other toes so why do they make shoes like that?

Translation: it can't possibly be people I agree with, must be my political opponents.
Honestly listen to yourselves. All of you

I’m MC and lefty. I fit the stereotype in lots of ways - my two chose their clothes as toddlers so often wore strange things, bare footed and slightly free range. I carried them in slings, extended bf and so on. I’ve also just started home edding my daughter due to SEN.
However, I was always hot on manners and behaviour - my kids are lovely, kind, have been taught to shake hands and converse politely, not shout and scream etc. Obviously not perfect and nor am I a perfect parent but I am proud of their behaviour.
My point is, I don’t think you can generalise.
I do know parents that drink in the day time and don’t effectively parent so their kids are not nice to be around - from all backgrounds, not just MC. It’s completely individual.
So YABU to generalise but YANBU to find such families difficult to be around. And there do seem to be a fair share of them in hotel resorts. We self cater on holidays now!

Oh and whilst mine were often scruffy and I didn’t get into battles about hair brushing all of the time, plus I don’t mind them playing in dirt - they are always fundamentally clean.

And what does it have to do with voting Tory?
Zero in both cases.

My SIL is like this. They are not lefty though! Their kids are feral and their family struggles with maintaining any social relationships with other families because their kids are a socially awkward tornado of destruction. She judges me for being more strict than she is with bedtimes/healthy food/homework/etc and then complains that the system is against her family because they are raising ‘normal kids instead of robots’. It is exhausting being with them because their kids destroy everything in sight and have not been taught basic social skills. Sigh.

Barefoot WC kids with scruffy clothes and unkempt hair would be judged as neglected though.

They probably aren’t “lefty” at all. I suspect they probably vote Tory.

No, defo lefties

I agree, it’s fine to be scruffy but some parents definitely curate a bohemian look for their children as it suits the family image. They want to be viewed as laid back cool parents but really it’s just an excuse to do less. I have a few friends like this and their children are often rude with no sense of boundaries. They end up being children others don’t want to play with.

But if you think the children are neglected and you would report them to SS if they were working class why aren't you reporting them when they are middle class?

I know exactly the parents you mean. The woman is always a bitch to her slightly dim husband and think’s she cutting edge cool for wearing white trainers with a floaty dress.

I didn't say it has anything to do with voting Tory! OP is the one who seems to be claiming she can intuit how people vote based on whether or not she approves of their parenting.

Well some things are problems and some aren't. If clothes are mismatched (but clean) or hair is scruffy (but again, clean) does that matter? On the other hand bad manners is a real issue.

My point exactly & the school would be straight on it!

Barefoot WC kids with scruffy clothes and unkempt hair would be judged as neglected though.

This is it. It's all about status, even if not consciously. The working class keep their children neat & tidy so as not to be mistaken for 'problem' families, the underclass.

The middle/upper classes don't need to worry about this. By letting their children be messy & untidy they are signalling this fact, i.e. that they're not working class.