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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

579 replies

Naturelover5 · 02/08/2022 16:12

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
OriginalUsername2 · 02/08/2022 20:22

I’m confused!

I though middle class meant you owned your home. And I’ve no idea how to look at someone and guess how they vote?!

??

LittleGreyFluffyCat · 02/08/2022 20:23

YANBU to criticise these parents. They sound rubbish at the job of parenting.
YABU to use words like bohemian, lefty, creative and arty so negatively. I am all of those things and have raised beautifully disciplined children who do homework, wear shoes and have great manners.

Presumably, you are a Tory who likes maths and science and hates art? You do realise that there are plenty of sensible, excellent parents who are artists and creatives?

TokyoTen · 02/08/2022 20:24

O think @BeanieTeen has hit the nail on the head!

borntobequiet · 02/08/2022 20:26

My local vineyard does a very nice sparking wine nowadays, no need for your Cavas or Proseccos. Global warming isn’t all bad.

Oblomov22 · 02/08/2022 20:27

Met loads of them in primary. Really irritating. Just avoid.

AllCatsAreBeautiful · 02/08/2022 20:27

I can’t really imagine noticing, let alone caring, whether random kids are wearing “mismatched clothes” — do you have a lot of time on your hands, OP?

Buythebag40 · 02/08/2022 20:32

onmywayamarillo · 02/08/2022 16:29

I've just come back from a very working class campsite and all the children were, lovely well mannered and parents kept an eye on them, with regards to over staying their welcome on otter pitches .

Other more very Tory( right wing) campsite kids were rude, entitled, free range and frankly a bit scary! Parents did f' all and said "you kids are crazy" in relation to her daughter verbally abusing a boy who was minding his own business 😱

I know what I prefer!

How interesting...I had no idea there were campsites that were divided according to how you vote! Is that mentioned on the websites?

Some hilariously judgemental and narrow-minded comments on this thread - especially the Leftie "good" Tory "bad" old trope!

Johnnysgirl · 02/08/2022 20:32

OriginalUsername2 · 02/08/2022 20:22

I’m confused!

I though middle class meant you owned your home. And I’ve no idea how to look at someone and guess how they vote?!

??

You seriously thought that's what middle class meant? You are confused.

Pruella · 02/08/2022 20:34

I think maybe it is supposed to suggest a disinterest in expensive consumer goods and conventions.

Or they genuinely aren’t interested in children’s clothes? Seems a stretch to me that they artfully cultivate scruffiness.

Blossomtoes · 02/08/2022 20:35

Festoonlights · 02/08/2022 20:08

Op these parents I think are everywhere in concentrated areas. A studied and purposeful decision not to wash the children, for the dddc to be ‘wild’ and true to nature and ‘free range’, Which is truly lovely when they are six - and chomping with mouths wide open, muddy filthy boots in the bedroom and wild garlic crunched into the sofa - however - no one talks about the fact they grow into wild teenagers with no discipline whatsoever, unable to complete anything and think it’s nothing to lose a tooth or two after a few craft ciders. Without direction they study classics, and usually roam around having their eyes prised open before becoming an estate agent in a country location counting down the days to mother expires so they can finally attain some quality of life.

😂😂😂😂

luxxlisbon · 02/08/2022 20:38

Some hilariously judgemental and narrow-minded comments on this thread - especially the Leftie "good" Tory "bad" old trope!

Interesting takeaway considering the whole point of the OP is deducing that “leftie” parenting is actually neglect.

Ilikecheeseontoast · 02/08/2022 20:41

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2022 16:25

I'm not sure that the social services would be called if a child on a council estate had mismatched clothes tbh. No clothes, or clothes far too small, or massively inappropriate for the weather maybe. But no one is calling the SS because Billy from next door isn't colour coordinated.

🤣🤣🤣

I have been wondering whether the mismatched, old bobbly clothes, urchin style look is actually the ‘look’ they are going for. Is it a style thing??

YesJess · 02/08/2022 20:44

Surely some of this scruffiness is just hipsters grown up. The type of well off kid from early 00s onwards who would spend time trying to look like they hadn't made an effort, but of course would ensure they weren't looking too bad (stray baked bean or crusty shit in beard etc).

Ilikecheeseontoast · 02/08/2022 20:45

Legrandsophie · 02/08/2022 20:16

OP you’ve just posted the most ignorant thread of the year. We’ll done.

If I posted the same about the feral, dirty , not ridden kids from my local council estate I would expect to get roundly flamed. And I would deserve it too.

The MC don’t drink prosseco anymore. Nor do they send their kids to private school or called them Rupert. Find some other shallow cliches to use.

wow 🤯🤣

ArmyBoat · 02/08/2022 20:46

It seems from your OP, you are suggesting that whether you are working or middle class and you mismatch clothes, don't place a huge emphasis on grooming and have a more relaxed attitude to discipline than you do, you should be labelled as neglectful
People arrive at their own conclusions and situations based on so many things, it seems a bit silly to expect us all to be that same, and to judge them on your own standard

Ncfreely · 02/08/2022 20:46

Yep! We have neighbours like this.

Hawkins001 · 02/08/2022 20:48

Reading with intrigue

SanFairyAnnie · 02/08/2022 20:48

Are you from the Daily Mail by any chance?

MyCakeLady · 02/08/2022 20:49

Regarding appearance I have seen happy confident children from loving families looking very scruffy in clothes too big or too small and I have seen beautifully turned, immaculately dressed little dollies from troubled homes, shouted at if they attempt to play lest they ruin their hair, shoes or outfit.
Social Services are not the fashion police.

Ilikecheeseontoast · 02/08/2022 20:50

Discovereads · 02/08/2022 20:02

Middle class doesn’t drink Prosecco or Cava. That’s a working class drink.
The children you likely saw were not bohemian middle class, sorry

Omg this thread is hilarious. I love it 🤣

Cameleongirl · 02/08/2022 20:50

Everyone is far too creative and free spirited to do laundry and vacuum the crumbs from the floor
😂😂

Haven't RTFT, but @CloseYourEyesAndSee 's comment made me laugh out loud. Mind you, my floor could do with a vacuum today...it must be my creativity that's keeping me on MN instead of getting the hoover out. 😂

pinkstripeycat · 02/08/2022 20:51

None of what OP really makes sense.
My in-laws were working class. FIL was a bricklayer from the roughest estate in town. He had such a strong local accent that even my DCs couldn’t understand him.
They always voted Tory.
MIL would quaff anything she could get her hands on.
Their kids were rubbish at school but DH was a solider for 22yrs and now a police chief inspector and SIL a senior staff nurse. So they did okay.
I never wear shoes, don’t quaff anything alcoholic and my kids do their homework otherwise they’d get massively behind at school so it doesn’t matter whether we agree with it or not.
No excuse for rudeness and bad manners though

ShandaLear · 02/08/2022 20:51

Top trolling, OP 😂😂😂

Navigatingnewwaters · 02/08/2022 20:52

Starlight86 · 02/08/2022 16:22

Im anti homework but if you want to look at our family schedule you will see we certainly arent lazy lol.

I hate parents that sit back and do nothing in regards to children's bad behavior or rudeness but equally i think there should be a balance between kids being kids and reigning them in when it gets a bit out of hand.

I’m anti homework too but none of the other accusations fit my family 😄

apintortwo · 02/08/2022 20:54

I haven’t “trained” him in obedience to authority; he’s told why we have rules, and how to question and negotiate with people in authority

Really? Do you think a primary school kid should be 'negotiating with authority'?

😂