Breastfeeding Shamed by my DP

[Lullabies2Paralyze]

On holiday with our 4 month old breastfed son.
was in a pub garden having lunch and while waiting for our food I started to feed baby.

my partner said “cover him up” and I asked why (as I never do, don’t use a weird shawl thing but I wear baggy tops and just lift them up).

his reasoning was we were in a “restaurant” and there were other people. I ignored him and carried on feeding the way I do (pointing out he’s a baby not a 10 year old child so it shouldn’t be weird for people!)

I don’t have my tits out on display while doing it and personally I think covering my baby draws more attention to what I was doing.

who was being unreasonable?

YABU - you shouldn’t breastfeed in public places without using a breastfeeding cover

YANBU - it’s perfectly natural, your DP can go do one and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it

If breastfeeding should be covered up can we make all people wear a blanket over their head while they eat in restaurants as I have seen some right pigs eating and making so much noise! Maybe say that yo your husband OP. Make him wear a blanket while he is eating and then you can carry on feeding your baby without him watching.

I hate seeing it

Can’t actually believe that 12% think YABU. It’s a 4 month old!

I have on several occasions asked Mothers to be more discreet!

I hope the next mum you say that to gives you a black eye. I don't care if this gets deleted. Do you know how low rates are in this country? Do you know why? Absolute cows like you.

You are reasonable.
You are protected by law.

Ignore the idiots on this thread too. No one is forcing them to look.

I think breastfeeding covers often draw more attention to what you are doing anyway.

YANBU

DH is an idiot

Honest to god. Nobody objected when I was breastfeeding but they would have got a very loud "I hope you're not attempting to stop a woman from feeding her baby in public which is protected by the 2010 equalities act."

The language used by women who oppose public breastfeeding - "on show", "on display" etc - is very telling. It speaks to a wider attitude of self-consciousness that comes from deeply internalised misogyny. They can't see themselves - or other women - through any lens other than the male gaze. Everything a woman does in public amounts to a performance that can be critiqued on moral and aesthetic grounds. It's disturbing, and sad.

Your husband is being a dick!
Feed where you like where baby and you are comfortable.
I used to have to find quiet places for my eldest but only because he wouldn't feed otherwise as was too interested in everything else from 6 months!

Youngest hates a muslin I just feed where ever including going round a supermarket, in a playground or getting books out of the library. I feed in a sling a lot for ease!

I love them!! 🤣

Your husband is a twit. My dd hated being covered and would unlatch and make a fuss, even when I tried starting the feed then slowly and sneakily trying to pull over a cover.
Feed your baby.

This is perfect for these moments

https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1xe0o5/ruinyourrdaywithhtits/?utmsource=share&utmm_medium=mweb3x

Normal people aren't bothered by babies being fed.

Maybe get some help with your issues.

I am sad and disgusted that 11% of people think you're being unreasonable. Horrible part of society we have.

Of course you weren't being unreasonable. You were feeding your child. Your dp needs to grow up and care more about his child than what other people think.

Love this!

Your husband is an absolute tool.

I breastfed mine in restaurants all the time. No-one batted an eyelid. I’d have bloody loved it if anyone had said something to me. I might have given them an eyeful of my squirty milk 😂

You could not have paid me to wear one of those ludicrous covers.

it saddens me to think anyone still believes it’s an activity to be hidden away.

@Somethingsnappy no worries!! I knew it wasn't at me. I know I shouldn't respond but omg going for an anxious new mum is so below the belt :(

Then it’s you who needs to go away.

To be fair, indecent exposure is an actual crime based on forcing someone to see something they don’t want to see. You could argue that the victim of said crime could also choose to look elsewhere, but that’s not really the point, it’s still indecent.

I was one of them shawl mums. I remember almost having a nervous breakdown with a scarf that wouldn't go up and a screaming baby in the middle of a cafe I just wanted wanted cry and go home and my mate turning round to me and saying fuck that thing off! No one cares infact your drawing more attention to yourself. It was very liberating tbh. I couldn't give two shiny shites after that and carried on for 2 years scarf remained in my bag untouched. Good for you though OP and you can tell your fella his opinion means fuck all on the matter since he doesn't have tits he doesn't get a vote. Tell him if he's he's embarrassed you and the baby will be spending family days out without him. Shame on him way to support his partner and his baby.

Also to the stupid poster posting on a forum for mothers well done for supporting the human race and babies need for food. You know food just like you need to sustain yourself you eat infront of people same principle.

Quite often I just looked around ready and waiting for anyone to say something to me but very luckily no one ever did. The mums who give you them looks out and about are the ones who know, aka the BF solidarity mafia. Ready to jump on anyone who doesn't have a bloody clue.

I would tell you to fuck off if you asked me to be more discrete. I feed my baby anywhere and everywhere and would never cover his head while he did it.

Hang on.

You are saying that breastfeeding a baby in public is equivalent to indecent exposure?

Fucking hell.

I’d be banned if I post what I actually want to.

YADNBU

Argh your DH needs to give his head a wobble. How didn't you snap his head off?

You’ve said yourself that indecent exposure is about ‘forcing’ people to look.

Breastfeeding mothers are not forcing people to look at them.

So not really sure where the parallel is coming in?