To think it's silly to refuse a C Section?

[sandradailey]

I have been attending an NCT class didn't have one in my area with DA

I've made a good friend who has a friend who's joined us recently.

We were talking about birth plans (and how they probably won't go to plan), and her friend said 'the only thing I'm saying on there is 'NO Section'

I said what do you mean, she said 'I will refuse a section'. I said but what if it's an emergency for example baby is in distress? She said 'nope, I won't have one. Simple as that. No section means no section. I may consider it if I'm dying from something like dramatic blood loss but otherwise, no. What'll be will be with the pregnancy itself'

The conversation then moved on but AIBU to think it's a bit silly to say no section whatsoever? So many variables can happen at birth

She will chsnge her mind
When it s c section or yourbaby dies
Do not argue
Just smile and nod

Yes she should not have got pregnant if she was happy to let her baby die. Trying other options first absolutely, but not oh well baby can just die then but if I might die I will consider it!

Yes that's exactly what she's saying, she wants to refuse a section at all costs unless her own life is at risk. Is baby can pass away and she's still able to go for a vaginal delivery of baby, she will

They don't select birthing women to receive C Sections randomly for fun, they don't have a quota to use up for the week. The only reason someone will be asking her to agree to one is because it is necessary for her or the baby. In which case...

I sincerely hope this is a position she never finds herself in.

If only it was that easy :(

This natural birth bullshit sets women up to fail. You watch your baby almost die and be rushed off to NICU because she won't breathe and then, on top of all of that trauma, you get judgemental comments because your birth was not 'natural'.

I'm not sure I totally agree with that. When my waters finally went after a 3 day induction I was offered a section, with no reason given. The surgeon mentioned it again when my DP was in the room, and I said no each time. I wasn't told I had to have one, nor the reasons for assisting it, but I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth so a section wasn't necessary in my case at all.

Maybe when she sees her baby's stats on the monitor, where everyone in the room, consultant, midwife and someone else (all a blur now) all stop talking and stare at it and the slowness of your baby's heart rate is alarming, you are worried the heart rate isn't recovering fast enough from the contraction, she'll consent to the recommended emergency section.

Until you are in it, you can't really say. You can say what you would like, mine was going to be a water birth, that didn't happen due to complications and ultimately, the above happened. They don't do them for fun.

She doesn't want a natural birth though... not in that sense, she wants an epidural

Which makes you a bit more at risk of needing an emergency section

Hopefully this is one of those situations she is never in.

Similar to those people who tell their husbands and birthing partners to save the baby over themselves if that's the choice. Those choices would never really crop up so hopefully no need to test that!

In my experience, when people are very adamant about refusing medical treatment (in general, not just for birth/pregnancy-related things specifically) it’s normally coming from a place of fear. It can be really challenging to unpick the issues and get to the root cause, but I hope that she gets the opportunity to sit down with her midwife or obstetrician and do just that. Ultimately though, you have the right to refuse any medical intervention you don’t want, however baffling the reasoning might seem from the outside looking in.

She'll change her mind.

Giving birth vaginally doesn't make you some sort of hero.

I gave birth vaginally with DS. Having twins this time and it's 50/50 atm if I'll need a section. I said the same as I did with DS just do what you need to do to keep us all safe and I'll go with it.

It's not something you can control. The best goal is everyone is safe.

She sounds nuts.

I don't get the impression she thinks vaginal births are heroic - she just really doesn't want a section. And wants to deliver vaginally at all costs unless it's life threatening to her

She mentioned a section and shuddered

I suspect if push came to shove and she is told baby will die she would change mind. I’d think she was rather naïve and hasn’t much life experience. It’s not black and white eg baby may be born alive but severely injured due to oxygen deprivation and require lifetime 24h care - a c section done at right time could mean baby is born healthy.

In the event she needs a section it'll be explained to her and she'll be asked to consent, she has the right to not consent because its her body and therefore her choice. If she's in a dire enough situation that she's not able to consent then the medical staff would act in what they consider to be her best interests.

It's not for anyone else to say whether her decision is wrong, she gets to choose the same as everyone else.

I had a friend who said something quite similar when she was pregnant with her DC. She actually did end up needing an EMCS and seems perfectly happy with her birth story, I think it’s just one of those things you say in pregnancy but when faced with the reality it’s not as simple.

It’s daft. I remember the worry when being told the baby was in distress and his heart beat was worrying. I don’t understand how anyone in that situation would be ‘ok let’s just wait and see’.

I couldn’t be friends with somebody so stupid.

'What will be will be.'

I'll be sure to think of that every time I look at DD1, who would have died without my emergency section. I guess she shouldn't really be here at all and is an aberration of nature.

Some people are just stupid and you can't cure that. Fingers crossed for that poor baby.

Had I not had my category 1 C-section when I was having a massive and acute placental abruption my baby would have died, I might have died as well.

As PP said, just smile and nod.

It's not for anyone else to say whether her decision is wrong, she gets to choose the same as everyone else

If someone gets told by medical professionals that they need a c section or their baby dies then it’s hard not to see it as wrong if they just refuse medical advice and let the baby die.

Also I listened to my baby's heart rate slow so much it basically stopped, and I saw the staff in theatre exchange some very panicked looks in those agonising seconds before it started up again. If anyone can listen to that and watch that and not agree to whatever the doctors said ASAP then they are an odd type of human. I've never felt fear like it.

She'll soon change her tune if it comes to it.

When the atmosphere shifts, the nurses faces change and the extra staff appear from nowhere and the panic starts to rise, and they tell you that they need to take you down NOW, you listen.

The idea of having a c-section makes me shudder too. I don't think its unreasonable to feel like that about it.
It doesn't mean that if it comes to it and there's an issue I wouldn't agree to it- but I would be terrified and I really hope it doesn't happen.