To think it's silly to refuse a C Section?

[sandradailey]

I have been attending an NCT class didn't have one in my area with DA

I've made a good friend who has a friend who's joined us recently.

We were talking about birth plans (and how they probably won't go to plan), and her friend said 'the only thing I'm saying on there is 'NO Section'

I said what do you mean, she said 'I will refuse a section'. I said but what if it's an emergency for example baby is in distress? She said 'nope, I won't have one. Simple as that. No section means no section. I may consider it if I'm dying from something like dramatic blood loss but otherwise, no. What'll be will be with the pregnancy itself'

The conversation then moved on but AIBU to think it's a bit silly to say no section whatsoever? So many variables can happen at birth

She honestly said she'd rather give birth to a deceased baby rather than have a c section? If she said that then she clearly has massive issues/ phobias around surgery and I'm not sure what posting this thread is going to achieve? Poor woman.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. I wouldn't bother expending any energy on this. Hopefully she won't need one, and if she does 8d be suprised if she doesn't agree. My emergency c section they weren't able to numb me enough after 4 attempts and asked permission to crack on as babys heart rate dropping. I was more worried about the baby than potential pain. In those moments before I heard the baby screen you've come so far you'd agree to anything I think to have nest chance of getting a healthy baby. I'm crying now remembering it

It would be a very odd thing for the dad to make up about the birth of his child, but perhaps he misunderstood what they were asking him.

Easily done in a stressful situation and a lot of people will mutter something like "save our baby" or "don't let my wife die" and will think that's them telling the medical team which one to focus on. Thankfully the majority of the time everyone survives but it's an awful situation to be in.

I’ve had 3 sections. 2 ‘unplanned’ (ie technically emergency but without an emergency) after long unsuccessful inductions, and one elective when baby showed no signs of dropping or getting ready to come out.

I do feel sad. Breastfeeding has been difficult at first with all three partly due to the surgery, and recovery was incrementally painful with each (the third being extremely hard/bad). I can also empathise with the fear women fear going into the section - it’s hard and very very scary.

I wish I’d been able to get them out the traditional way, and periodically feel a bit down knowing that that ship has now sailed. However I’d never vocalise that as I know I’m I’m incredibly lucky - all 3 are safe and healthy and I’d never have considered refusing treatment to help them arrive in a safe, healthy condition. In fact I think I’d probably have accepted any degree of detriment to my own body to make sure that happened.

i do experience digs re. the ‘natural birth’ narrative from women friends who should know better (or who at least should realise that their own natural birth is down to luck and only luck - and that C-sections don’t happen through lack of effort/lack of strength/lack of womanliness.

i actually had this recently with a friend. I was empathising with her re. how hard she had found first time BFing and the guilt she’d felt when switching to formula.

In the next breath she said ‘still - at least I had a natural birth’.

So - yes, your friend is misguided, but there’s a lot of factors leading her that way (pressure/fear etc).

I was like this as I have a phobia of surgery - being cut open etc - as it makes me faint. If someone starts talking about surgery, I feel faint. Actually I feel myself fading now at the thought of it. Injuries are fine - it's the thought of surgery and stitches.

When my daughter's blood oxygen levels were headed in the wrong direction because the hospital had effed things up so royally, I refused forceps/ventouse and told them to go straight for the caesarean and get her out.

I genuinely believe if I'd let them mess about much longer, I would not be sitting here as the mother of a healthy/able-bodied child.

@ChagSameachDoreen it's the woman saying it, not the NCT teacher. NCT classes all cover caesarean birth now, it's part of the course content that teachers have to follow.

I had my first baby by cesarean. He was breech and fully engaged wrong way up. I was happy he was born alive and not massively brain damaged. My NCT leader phoned to check on me. When I explained I had had had a section she said "Oh dear, never mind. Still you can do it properly next time". That baby is 30 this year. Her comment pops into my head now and again. Silly cunt.

Hmmm

Wait till she is in that position..

I don't think anyone really knows how they'll react until they are in that position and if she ends up there there will be a room full of trained professionals to talk to her about her options and the associated risks.

I did turn one down weeks before due date as it wasn't about mine and babies safety but fucking internal politics around HB.

The consultant who was trying to insist on C-section argued with us about age of our then youngest and my own pg and medical history apparently because he'd read the notes wrong and dismissed our practical reasoning. It did not inspire confidence and he couldn't in end provide a good medical reason why it was needed.

If there had been a good reason to have a c-section I'd have had one but there wasn't and there were good reasons to avoid it for us.

She seems a bit hard of thinking. It's one thing to be very anti c section and to have a high bar for having one (I was in this category myself) but for that bar to be set between baby dying and a threat to her own life just suggests she hasn't fully considered the implications. I pushed my consultant really hard on trying an induction but he convinced me the baby was likely too weak to survive the process so I reluctantly consented to a section. It seems like this woman hasn't thought through how she would feel having refused consent for a procedure that would have saved her baby's life, delivering a stillborn child and living with the implications of that.

I think some responses are too harsh.

Yes we can think it's a ridiculous attitude but her body her choice and that needs to be respected or it's a slippery slope.

In my experience every section I've had was bloody awful for a variety of reasons so on an opinion based post I am "baldly" allowed to say that. Plenty of women on here can "scaremonger" about vaginal birth. That's the thing about opinions- everyone has them, based on their own experiences and they tend to be all different. I wouldn't wish my section experiences on my worst enemy but I'm very thankful that my two sisters in law had smooth sailing elective/emergency sections in the past three months. I did say that sections absolutely had their place when women chose them or they were medically required but you clearly didn't pick up on that sentence. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm glad you have recovered well and wish you a smooth return to running. 8 years on from my first section I still have flash back nightmares and still get recurrent nerve pain from complications after my second. Clearly I wasn't as lucky.

Thread reminded me if this case that occurred when I was studying Law & Medicine.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/law-report-vital-surgery-on-mother-ordered-re-s-family-division-sir-stephen-brown-president-12-october-1992-1557350.html?amp
A born again Christian was refusing a c section and both her and baby were about to die. It’s the shortest judgment - literally woman was in labour and Drs needed a decision. Legally it’s not good law she should have been able to refuse consent but the court ordered the c section. I wonder if with hindsight she was glad court took decision out of her hands.

Or she’s thought it through and has still decided to take that risk and is prepared to live with the possible consequences. Not a decision most would make, but still her right to make it.

Why is she so against a section ? Is she scared ?

A lot of women seem afraid of sections and I don't get it myself. I would be more frightened of having my vagina cut open with a knife than my abdomen. I gladly had my baby exit via the sun roof.

Especially because during a section, you'll definitely be numb there- whereas if they cut your vagina, it's often done without any numbing.

Happy to be corrected, if I'm wrong in my assumptions. I only had c sections. All elective, because I wanted them.

She sounds delusional.

I am frightened of being cut open, so while I‘m sure in the throes of Labour it it came to it I’d have agreed to a section, I can kind of see a bit where she’s coming from. I hope it’s not a choice she has to exercise and then lives to regret.

I have some sympathy with her, as I was pushed to have a c-section my second time around even though I was determined to have a vbac.

The reason behind my determination was because I'd ended up having an EMCS under GA the first time round, so completely missed the birth.

I should point out there was no medical reason for me having a c-section the second time, just the 'risk factor' of being 40.

However, even though the consultant was fully supportive of my wishes, as soon as I went into hospital the doctor on duty immediately tried to push me into a c-section. I got the impression they wanted to control everything medically.

In the end I got the birth I wanted because I stuck to my guns.

I should add I would have no problem with another c-section in a medical emergency.

She's the type to end up having a cat 1 section under GA.

Do report back after her delivery and let us know!

Especially because during a section, you'll definitely be numb there- whereas if they cut your vagina, it's often done without any numbing.

This isn't always the case - section 1 I could feel pain as they'd perforated a membrane in my spine whilst doing the epidural and the drug was leaking out. \i had the option of bearing it, or been put under a general anaesthetic then and there (opted to bear it).

Section 3 I could also feel some pain. Didn't tell them as things seemed to be going well and didn't want to derail/distract the operation and I knew I could probably bear it after no. 1.

If I hadn’t had csections both my babies would be dead. It’s a simple decision to make when you’re faced with those facts!

Especially because during a section, you'll definitely be numb there- whereas if they cut your vagina, it's often done without any numbing

my sil felt it & had to be put under