New neighbours complaining that our kids are distressing their dog

[InYerFace]

New neighbours (a couple, late 40s so similar age to us, but no kids) came around last night to complain that the sound of our teen boys playing in the garden was upsetting their dog who is a rescue, very nervous and reactive to sound.

I'm really torn on what to do. I'm sympathetic to their situation and I really don't want to fall out with them. I know the dog has problems because it barks at us from his side of the fence whenever we go out in the garden. When they came round to complain they brought the dog with them to show us what it's like - the woman had it in her arms and it spent the whole time growling and baring its teeth.

The kids had two friends over yesterday and they were playing basketball. My dilemma is that while I'm sympathetic, I don't think the noise they were making was excessive - no screaming, no music blaring, just the sound of kids playing in the garden. The ball doesn't thud loudly on the floor as the garden is grass with no paving or decking so its muffled, but it does clatter when it hits the hoop.

I get that the clatter would be annoying after a while, but I wouldn't say it was any more annoying than the noise of their dog barking at us through the fence and I wouldn't dream of complaining about that. It's just part and parcel of life.

Last set of neighbours never complained about the kids playing, but they did have grandkids of their own who came regularly and made a fair bit of noise so they were probably as immune to the noise of kids playing as we are!

They also said they were worried that the ball would come over and hit their dog, even though it didn't.

I've told the kids they're not to play basketball anymore to keep neighbourly relations cordial, but it is a shame as they absolutely love it and it will probably mean they're just inside playing X Box.

The problem is is that because they're teens, most of the games they'd want to play in the garden do involve some kind of ball. Do I just resign myself to a summer of them sat inside? We do have a local park but it's quite some distance away and seems a shame they can't use their own garden.

Does the ball crash against the back board thing? It can make a bit of a racket.

No way should you stop your kids from playing anything in their own garden how long have they lived there ... tell them to put in dog if he is distressed ...

Tell 'em to back off, you were there first! Your kids come first.

I am a huge dog lover and have rescued many dogs, and had nervous reactive dogs, but I would never ask my neighbours to change their lives because of my dogs.
If they had any clue about dogs they wouldn't have brought the dog round to make it even more fearful.

They need a positive reinforcement trainer that deals with reactive dogs.

Three hours is a long time. They have a right to play, of course, but hours on end is distressing to anyone who has to listen.

And while it's not your responsibility that the dog has been abused and repeatedly re-homed, a little compassion wouldn't hurt. My now-dead dog was declining fromheart failure and the noisy kids next door kept playing right outside my window, on their drive, and it would rile him up and send him into coughing fits. I tried to move him to my bedroom but that window by the drive was his lounging area his entire life, so he gravitated back to it. I am convinced their shrieking and banging shortened his life.

Couldn't the boys ride bicycles or something if they want to be outdoors? What age are they?

We have two basketball-mad boys next door to us, and it doesn't bother us at all (and it's on a yard, not grass).

@InYerFace
The amount of hopeless people with badly behaved dogs since lockdown has grown exponentially.
I bet it’s a “ Foreign rescue “ as well, as foreign “rescues” sell to just about anyone.

UK rescue centres match dog and home well, and if that new neighbour is holding a snarling, snapping dog IN HER ARMS while talking to you, she is just reinforcing it’s bad behaviour

Please tell your sons to enjoy their Basketball.
Their yappy dog needs proper training, and your sons playing ball should not be stopped
because they are indulging their mutt.
” Rescue” these days is trotted out as an excuse for bad behaviour that the owners don’t try and help with.

I’m not going to give you advice now.

When you come back in X months time because they’ve escalated things and have a rescue dog they can’t control and are blaming you and your teenage boys for everything, I’ll give you lots of advice then.

They stressed the dog bringing it to yours - barring it’s teeth and growling - terrible - quite scary for you all - that would sure as heck stress ME!
they can back off and your children should carry on regardless !

Maybe they do ride bikes or engage in other activities, but sometimes hey obviously enjoy playing basketball with each other and their friends too. There is nothing unreasonable about that. The neighbours need to move somewhere rural or check their neighbours are elderly with no kids etc if they don’t want to put up with the kind of noise that is very normal.

So many children are stuck inside playing computer games or on social media and it should be encouraged that these boys are out being active.

Sounds like the neighbours need to invest in a trainer and /or keep their dog in when the neighbours are out enjoying their garden.

also a bit worrying about the baring of the teeth etc. Hopefully it won’t escape and bite anyone.

Don't do anything. Let the kids play outside. She can keep the dog inside!

I think they honestly are worried sick the ball will come over, noise until late at night, gangs of teens in the back yard days on end but said/blamed the dog and are hoping it calms down. Its not easy to just up root and move if they dont like kids. I honestly think they are nervous of them. We had 3 teens next door, ball always hitting the fence, coming in our garden, breaking the fence, lamped at our kitchen window then they would wonder over our fence and retrieve the ball about 40 times a day. They would play 9am till 9pm most days! They had no idea they were annoying and neither did the parents. But you have a lovely attitude to it and hope that restores calmness

And the award for cheeky fucking entitled dog-owners of the year goes to...your neighbours OP!

Seriously though, how did you not just laugh in their faces and tell them to get lost?

It's wonderful to hear your children are outside, keeping active and socialising with other kids. That's the main thing: the dog is fairly irrelevant unless it becomes a nuisance. Then it's time to for you take action.

Carry on letting the kids play in the garden when ever they like with whatever they like, and if the dog is “that” distressed tell them to take it inside, if they say anything inform them you will not be the owner of a garden your children and their friends cannot use

Let the kids play!
You'd think at nearly 50/ grandparent age they'd be accepting that children will play. Though it is a strange complaint whatever age they are.
Just look at them like they have 2 heads and say their dog is distressing your children.

I have teenagers and a neighbour with a basketball net and football goals, plus have just brought a new pup home.

He was initially freaked out by the basketball side playing in their garden, the other side’s builders and next-door-but-one’s grandchildren squealing in their paddling pool. It was a problem, because every time he heard one of them he panicked and ran back inside, which affected his toilet training.

Did I complain? No. I worked hard on changing his emotional response to those stimuli. That’s my job, it’s not my neighbours’ responsibility to police their families using their gardens to make my puppy feel better. In fact, next door’s cat spends a lot of his time in our garden since our big dog died and instead of complaining about that, I have taught my puppy that the cat being in our garden is a really good thing and that he is not to be chased.

Four weeks of hard work and he now ignores all of them and is totally at ease in the garden. It’s your neighbours’ responsibility, not yours, to make sure their dog is able to cope with normal garden noise. Let your lads and their friends play, it’s great that they want to be outside and not glued to a screen 24/7.

Let the kids play!

When I read these type of posts I often side with the neighbour raising the issue as a lot of people do make unreasonable noise and can’t see they are being unreasonable. However in this instance I think your neighbour is being unreasonable as her dog is equally if not more noisy than your sons playing.

Why do people take on such ridiculous dogs - don’t tell me from Romania? Don’t they realise they are breeding them to flog them to the gullible. Kids first dogs second!

They sound utterly batshit, & a dog who is that nervous, and that reactive, is simply not suited to living in a noisy (normal) housing development. Dog needs training and for its own sake likely rehomed somewhere quiet in the countryside where it can develop confidence, and your neighbours need to learn some boundaries and how to live alongside people.

I speak as someone who has both noisy (normal) children & a dog, who is perfectly chilled in his surroundings and causes no bother to our neighbours thankfully.

Why are you punishing your kids over a neighbor's inability to control their animal. It needs training, period. Actually I would be more afraid of the kids safety around an unstable animal. Apologize to your kids and tell the neighbors to get their dog in check!

I could bare to have people living closely because of this and also the noise I make. Tell her she should take her doggo in the house when it's scared of everyday noises.

My nearest neighbor is my son's house which is 1/4 mile away. I was outside in my garden and an impact sprinkler hit me square in the bum. I shouted a bit. My son showed up a few minutes later to see if I was okay. He heard me from his garden! Apparently I sound like Homer Simpson when I shout.

No way!

The responsibility lies with her to seek help to desensitise the dog.

They could keep the dog inside for a bit, while the kids are playing. They could walk the dog while the kids are playing.

It doesn’t all land on you, just because it’s a rescue.

Kids don’t belong indoors all day long. It is so unhealthy. They should be making healthy habits now, which is interacting in a healthy way with friends and being outdoors and exercising.

That’s what back gardens are for isn’t it?

Poor kids… how shit are you making them stop playing ball in their garden
get the new neighbours told to jog on or they will walk all over you