New neighbours complaining that our kids are distressing their dog

[InYerFace]

New neighbours (a couple, late 40s so similar age to us, but no kids) came around last night to complain that the sound of our teen boys playing in the garden was upsetting their dog who is a rescue, very nervous and reactive to sound.

I'm really torn on what to do. I'm sympathetic to their situation and I really don't want to fall out with them. I know the dog has problems because it barks at us from his side of the fence whenever we go out in the garden. When they came round to complain they brought the dog with them to show us what it's like - the woman had it in her arms and it spent the whole time growling and baring its teeth.

The kids had two friends over yesterday and they were playing basketball. My dilemma is that while I'm sympathetic, I don't think the noise they were making was excessive - no screaming, no music blaring, just the sound of kids playing in the garden. The ball doesn't thud loudly on the floor as the garden is grass with no paving or decking so its muffled, but it does clatter when it hits the hoop.

I get that the clatter would be annoying after a while, but I wouldn't say it was any more annoying than the noise of their dog barking at us through the fence and I wouldn't dream of complaining about that. It's just part and parcel of life.

Last set of neighbours never complained about the kids playing, but they did have grandkids of their own who came regularly and made a fair bit of noise so they were probably as immune to the noise of kids playing as we are!

They also said they were worried that the ball would come over and hit their dog, even though it didn't.

I've told the kids they're not to play basketball anymore to keep neighbourly relations cordial, but it is a shame as they absolutely love it and it will probably mean they're just inside playing X Box.

The problem is is that because they're teens, most of the games they'd want to play in the garden do involve some kind of ball. Do I just resign myself to a summer of them sat inside? We do have a local park but it's quite some distance away and seems a shame they can't use their own garden.

Are you serious,stopping your own kids from playing basketball in their own garden? That's crazy.

Your neighbors decided to get a rescue dog with all that entails so that's their choice. Don't stop your kids doing normal lovely stuff because of it. I think your neighbors sound like ridiculous entitled people.

Just find a dog trainer and out a car through their letterbox ! As much as I love my pets and dogs in general that’s a issue that their dog have not your kids !!

No,you were there first and kids need to play out,as long as they are not being unduly loud and annoying,they should carry on.
I do have sympathy for the dog owners,but they have to sort it's problems.

They are being unreasonable. The dog will have to learn to live with reasonable sound levels, which is sounds to me like your kids are making. If the dog is as aggressive and reactive as you describe, then I don't think it was ready to be rehomed in a domestic setting - especially with people who clearly don't know how to deal with its problems. An elderly family member was palmed off with a dog like that- totally unsuitable for an old lady. In her case it was an aggressive terrier with green teeth that bit everybody including her and pulled her over as she walked down the street. It should never have been rehomed with her.
If they want a silent environment for their dog, they should not have bought a house with close neighbours.

it’s an outrageous complaint. Your kids are in their own garden doing reasonable activities. Don’t make them stop. Your neighbours have a difficult adoptee. I had the same. It’s their problem not yours and the dog will eventually settle down if they handle it properly.

Could they play it outside the front as they aren't small kids and should be able to play out without being in the garden.
Seems a bit unreasonable for them to expect you not to make noise in your own garden

When we got our dog she was really reactive to dogs, our neighbour has a dog. It wasn't her responsibility to ensure my dog wasn't upset that responsibility was mine. We ensured that her dog couldn't be seen from our garden and we planted low bushes alongside the fence to deter her from going to the fence. Then we worked hard to sort our dog's issues. We occasionally walk with the neighbour and her dog now and our dog is happy to greet and play with the neighbour's dog. Your neighbour needs to work with a behaviourist to address the dog's difficulties and in the meantime keep the dog out of the garden when you child is out playing.

Sorry, so off new neighbour

Our NDNs have a hysterical nutter reactive dog, and it takes absolutely nothing at all to set it off. Opening our back door is enough most of the time.

They’ve only lived there 5 mins and are acting entitled already. Do not set a precedent! They are kids who like to unwind and we have the same set up - dog next door that growls, barks all day and wears a muzzle is a rescue and will rip anything apart and react and the other neighbours whose sons play basket ball about 7-9:30pm whilst I’m trying to put my boys to sleep - the noise is so irritating but then so are my children in the day. It’s all about give and take and unless you live alone in the sticks it’s tough luck ! X

What? You told your own children that they’ve not to play in their own garden? Grow a backbone fgs and ignore your unreasonable neighbours.

Wow they are being absolutely unreasonable. Please don't stop using your OWN garden in the way you previously were. They need to get their heads out of their arses and either deal with the dog appropriately or get rid of it. The barking alone would be really annoying me if I was you

Absolutely batshit neighbour. Ignore! Your kids are perfectly entitled to play in their own garden!

Nope, sorry but they moved there…. If they need to be somewhere quiet for the dog they should have thought about this. Your children have the right to play in their own garden and I actually think it’s lovely they want to be out playing rather than inside so 100% let them. Obviously be cautious not to kick balls etc over but tbf that happens sometimes too. I feel for you tho, neighbour issues can be so so hard

How about introducing the dog to the kids, and let the dog see them at play , maybe then the dog will realise they are not a threat
Might prevent having the dog put down !

Let your kids play basketball!! I'm sorry but you're literally putting a dog before your kids here and that's ridiculous. Let the neighbours complain, I'd be complaining that a nasty vicious dog lives next door and growls and bares it's teeth at you and your kids whenever you are in the garden.

Regardless of if its a rescue dog or not its badly trained and needs work no way would I tell my kids to stop playing outside because they'd upset a badly trained mutt.

Oh no, I have two dogs and would never stop anyone kids playing in their own garden. I would keep it in if it was getting too upset if your kids are out. I agree too much pandering to these sort of pet owners they are animals at the end of the day .
my pug shouts at aeroplanes do I ring up Cambridge airport and say Oi stop flying over my garden no I get a grip and tell the little sh#t to shhhh.
nothing nicer than kids playing , the young have had enough curbing of their enjoyment over the last few years.
your neighbours are lucky you are so kind and polite. Good luck

I would say live and let live, dogs bark and kids play.

Meant today if it’s a snarly and growling just make sure it can’t get in your garden and bite someone that would be my concern.

I think the dog will have to adjust and as long as your children are not shrieking - which it sounds like they are past that stage - then do nothing. If the dog is on its third home then it doesn't sound like it will bode well for the neighbours but that is not your problem. There are only really another 4 or 5 weeks and summer will be over. You cant stop your kids using the garden and getting teens outside as much as possible is always a good idea!

Ask them to go back to the rescue centre for advice or get a dog trainer who does individual sessions

The summer is so short! Let the teenagers play in the garden as it will be raining or cold again soon before we know it! Unfortunately for your, their anxious dog will be next door 24/7 so it's more likely down the line you'll be needing to complain about it and they'll soon regret knocking your door asking for silence.

I have dogs that like to bark (thankfully not all day but outside noises can set them off, like car doors shutting) and I'd never expect the neighbours to be quiet so my dogs didn't bark. Some people's entitlement baffles me.

Nope I would let the kids play in the garden.

If you wanted to be really kind you could agree to limit playing in the garden for a week or two while their dog settles in. But I definitely wouldn't be making long term changes to how I use my garden because of a dog.

I have been driven nearly mental by the loud playing of kids in my area, especially basketball, but in this case I don't think you are being unreasonable.

They are the newcomers and should have checked out the vibe of the neighbourhood before buying, and certainly whether it was suitable for their dog.

I don't think it's unreasonable to offer some quiet hours they can count on. One of the things that affected me so much when the noisy families moved in (there is a recent trend in my area to extend small houses which then large families purchase) was that I never knew if or when I'd get a break from the trampolining, basketball, shrieking, screaming.

If someone had said "On Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6pm onward we will be quiet," or similar, it would have helped a great deal. We have many parks including one less than a minute's walk away with much play equipment in it.

And just a thought but -- could the boys befriend the dog? Maybe if they played with it or even walked it, it would acclimate to them.