To cut my parent off for this?

[Whattodo74639]

My grandparent died a couple of months ago, my parent is the executor of the will, I am an only child.

I was always told that I had a set amount of inheritance to come from grandparent once they died. After the funeral and everything, we then set about sorting out the inheritance and everything else but it’s been one excuse after the other as to why I haven’t yet received my share.

The first excuse was waiting for the bank account to be closed and then the remaining money released, they said it should have taken 7-10 days or something like that. After this time frame, the excuse then changed to actually I wasn’t left any inheritance, it’s just money that my parent is choosing to ‘gift’ me.

I haven’t been able to access the will, as parent won’t allow me to see it, to see what is true and what is not. My parent knows that I struggle at times financially through no fault of my own and knows that if I do have a share in this, that it will help me significantly, and they are now ignoring every request I put to them whilst off spending hundreds of pounds on themselves (they tell me so).

I have pretty much accepted I’m not going to get any of this money, as I doubt there is now much left, so my AIBU is AIBU to cut parent off for this for being a selfish arsehole?!

They did a similar thing when my other grandparent died and kept money from the rest of the family, so I don’t know why I’m too surprised to be honest!

I don’t know much about the legalities but surely you can contest the will?

You can get a copy of a will online.

The thing is I haven’t actually seen the will to see if what he is saying is true or not, so obviously I don’t want to spend loads of money trying to contest it if he is actually right…

If probate has been granted you can see the will.

I don’t know if it was a proper legal will through a solicitors or just a DIY one. Knowing my grandparent they probably bought one from WHSMITHS and filled it out…

Depends what the will said.

If they died a couple of months ago, then probate takes a lot longer than that!

You can see wills on line, but not within two months.

I think you're being very very hasty!

I don’t think anything has had to go through probate… again, parent is being really secretive over the whole thing

I can't imagine spending money while one of my children struggled.

It’s not even about the money or what’s in the will - it’s how parent is acting over it - it’s not a case of being too hasty as they are very quickly burning through their share of it!

it’s the messing me around and then keep coming up with excuses, I would rather them just be honest about it and if I’m not actually getting anything so I don’t get my hopes up!

www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

Check for it here, just in case.

www.mygov.scot/finding-will

Or in Scotland this may help.

Get a solicitor to get a copy of the will, and take it from there.

@Awrite lets put it like this… I have a disability and can’t work, I have a severely disabled child who I care for 24/7 whose father is not involved (court order) I have a garden that is unsafe for my daughters needs and I can’t get anything done about it and the council etc keep refusing to do it… so there’s that, and then there is said parent spending over £1000 on sporting equipment out of said inheritance…

Per above request (assuming your in the uk) a copy of the will and probate etc online via gov.uk website.

it’s about £2 I think so not pricey so you can easily find out if you’re in the will or not.

i’d probably request a copy of the previous one too while I was at it

Tried to look online and there isn’t anything that comes up in the searches, to be honest I am pretty sure it was a DIY will

I wouldn't cut a parent off over a will. They have just lost a parent, remember.

@girlmom21 even if they were potentially keeping a share of money from you and choosing to spend it all on themselves when they know you’re struggling and they are on a good wage themselves?

All wills that go through probate appear on the website that people have directed you to.

It took about 5 weeks for us to get probate recently, but doing all the work for it took us ages (ie inheritance tax forms).

Was there only money in the bank, no house?

If so then your parent might not need probate…the bank can release funds under a certain amount without probate.

If there is a house, or investments, or such, then probate is definitely needed.

If probate is needed, it doesn’t matter what sort of a will it is, whether DIY or via a solicitor, it still needs to be provided for probate and you can then access a copy. However, it will take longer than 2 months for probate.

I am sorry for your loss

Was your grand parent aware that you were struggling while they were alive, did they gift you any money then or heirlooms ?

It takes quite a lot of time & effort to sort out someone's estate.

Perhaps be a little more patient

No there is no probate then as there was no property (in a care home in the end) and only money

Yeah because they're not legally able to keep money from you that was left to you in a will and any other inheritance is theirs and fair bloody play if they're going to enjoy it.

I wouldn't ever begrudge my parents enjoying their inheritance. If your grandparents had wanted to bail you out they'd have done if while they were alive.

There was no estate to sort out, only 2 bank accounts with money in, and parent has definitely had the money from this as they have been spending it (!) yes grandparent always helped me out with money whenever I needed it

@girlmom21 first of all, it’s not bailing someone out when it’s the circumstances like mine, I struggle through no fault of my own. Secondly, they did help me out whilst they was alive. Where did I say they didn’t or do you just make assumptions? And lastly, if you could sit by and watch your kids struggle whilst wasting money on crap then I think that’s very sad as that’s something I could never do to mine.