To cut my parent off for this?

[Whattodo74639]

My grandparent died a couple of months ago, my parent is the executor of the will, I am an only child.

I was always told that I had a set amount of inheritance to come from grandparent once they died. After the funeral and everything, we then set about sorting out the inheritance and everything else but it’s been one excuse after the other as to why I haven’t yet received my share.

The first excuse was waiting for the bank account to be closed and then the remaining money released, they said it should have taken 7-10 days or something like that. After this time frame, the excuse then changed to actually I wasn’t left any inheritance, it’s just money that my parent is choosing to ‘gift’ me.

I haven’t been able to access the will, as parent won’t allow me to see it, to see what is true and what is not. My parent knows that I struggle at times financially through no fault of my own and knows that if I do have a share in this, that it will help me significantly, and they are now ignoring every request I put to them whilst off spending hundreds of pounds on themselves (they tell me so).

I have pretty much accepted I’m not going to get any of this money, as I doubt there is now much left, so my AIBU is AIBU to cut parent off for this for being a selfish arsehole?!

They did a similar thing when my other grandparent died and kept money from the rest of the family, so I don’t know why I’m too surprised to be honest!

Why would she contest the will?

Hi OP,
I am sorry you are being accused of being grabby - you seen to have very valid reasons for distrusting your parent.

There were significant delays in the issue of probate with my father’s will, some down to Covid and some down to a challenge against the will, so I’d be amazed if probate has been granted so soon after your grandparent’s death. You are indeed entitled to see the will, however it was written and whether or not it was lodged online, but it sounds as though your parent is helping themselves to the funds before probate has been granted.

If at all possible, I would get a solicitor involved ASAP. You could potentially put a caveat on the will which stops probate being granted whilst it’s terms are investigated.

Good luck.

This is why I think it's best to not discuss or inheritances until the actual will is "read" and proven.

If it was a "wish" but the will wasn't changed then I'm afraid that's tough.

The police won't be interested.

The executor of the Will ( doesn’t matter if it’s DIY or drawn up by a lawyer) has to get a grant of probate. Used to be different years ago but then government sussed they’d make money from Wills going through probate. Executor cannot sell anything, pay any money out until probate is granted. They can pay any outstanding taxes and the undertaker though.
Some people try to bypass the legalities to save money and therefore the Will isn’t registered. Once through probate a Will is registered and becomes a public document.
Ask your father how probate is going as you’ve arranged for the Probate Office to send you a copy of the Will. And look at his reaction.

If there was over £5000 then there is probate. If an estate goes through probate you swear to carry out the wishes of the deceased and if you don’t do that (eg keep money that’s for someone else) it’s a criminal offence that they can be prosecuted for.

banks won’t release money without the grant of probate unless they haven’t been notified the person has died

Sorry, didn’t read all your posts ( my bad)
Try this www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/probate-solicitors/how-do-i-know-if-probate-is-required/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_campaign=probateppc&utm_content=sl2&infinity=ict2~net~gaw~ar~547925668989~kw~~mt~~cmp~NB+-+%5BPRO%5D+-+Hagakure+-+Questions~ag~(CAT:NB)(SUB:PRO)(TERM:What+Is)(DSA)&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8s3dm-2j-QIVTLTVCh29LAI7EAAYASABEgI9r_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

and this
www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate/if-theres-a-will

I was involved where there wasnt a Will and deceased didn’t have a penny ( literally) but there was a life insurance policy.

You are not being grabby. My parents also had firm where a Will was concerned.

OP has posted before. No money was left to her in the Will. She is relying on her parents gifting her some money - which has strings attached.

Probate can take a long time to sort - took dh (who has legal expertise) a year to sort his Mum’s (relatively simple) estate. I think you need to get more factual info before any toy throwing…

Should the will state you are inheriting something, then absolutely YANBU. But if not, you shouldn’t have an expectation of getting something. Inheritance tends to get passed down to the next generation, so your parent will inherit from your grandparent, just as you will inherit from your parent once they die.

You need to find out if the executor has applied for probate. It can take a long time but we got probate of my mother's straightforward will in 7 weeks.

That's not actually true. If a will is from a cheapie form and not properly do e, no solicitor even knows it exists. A small estate split between more than one bank accounts will often be allowed by banks to be transferred to a child of the deceased simply with a death certificate, especially if that child already had access through an LPA or a joint account.
When my mam died (I am an only child, my mam was a widow and there was no will), there was £20,000 in an account she had added my name to - which automatically transferred to me. There were two other accounts each with about 5,000 in and 4 insurance policies. I just explained to the banks and the companies- went with a death certificate and my identification and they transferred the money to my bank account.

After reading about probate I don’t think there is any chance at all they have done this… is it a legal requirement?

OP, I say this very gently but I don’t think you are listening to the very good advice here. You keep repeating that it’s a DIY will, then say it wasn’t changed. Either there is a valid will (DIY or not - doesn’t matter) or there isn’t. You need to know that first. Go to a solicitor.

If there isn’t a valid will or the last will that (I assume) doesn’t leave you anything wasn’t changed then I’m afraid there probably isn’t much you can do.

My only experience of probate also took over a year (my mum was executor for an aunts will). She was in a care home too so probably not a huge amount to sort out. It just takes time. If you’re not named in the will though I'm not sure there’s much you can do about it.

Not necessarily true. My mam had no will- she was a widow and I was an only child. Banks transferred her estate to me with the death certificate and my ID. One account already had both our names on but two (£5000 approx each) + 4 insurance policies did not - this was 2014. Solicitor told me to speak to them as they were small amounts.
If OP's parent has had their name added to an account by the grandad the money will have transferred to them anyway.

Why are you so convinced you were included in the will?

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to cut them off. Whatever the will says, it's a case of them putting money over you. Clearly their financial gain is more important to them than keeping their promise.

Unless you see the will how will you know if you were ever going to inherit?

I think caution when it’s “I’ve been told”.

We had years and years of husband’s grandparents making a big fuss about did we know where the will was and how we’d be looked after. In reality there really wasn’t much money and it was shared between three grandchildren. MIL (quite rightly) inherited the house and that was the bull of the estate. After paying for funerals and all the other costs there was a few thousand left to share out. No real issue, and no complaints we really would have preferred that they’d spent the money on themselves, rather than feel the needed to provide “inheritance”, but it always struck me as odd why they also felt they needed to lead the grandchildren to believe there was significant sums of money being left.

May take a while to go through probate.

I am sole beneficiary of my dad's estate - he died in February. I got the solitors who were executors to renounce. House is in my name/dh's so not involvd.

I will be sharing dad'sinheritance with my children but still awaiting probate. I hope they don't feel like you do. I will be fair even though 2/4 are home owners and youngest is just off to uni hopefully so hers will be kept till after that.

If there was over £5000 then there is probate

Not necessarily true. Different banks/financial institutions have different limits on how much they will release to executors without probate. Some will release as much as £50000 without probate, per financial institution, so an estate could be quite sizeable and still not require probate.

If a will doesn't go through probate, then I don't know what your options are with regard to your right to view the will. Perhaps ask Citizens Advice for help with this.

to be clear. Either a will is a "proper will" DIY or not. It has to go through an official process and you will be able to get a copy. If its not a proper will then the estate will be treated as intestate and the rules of intestacy must be followed.
You might be able to get some free advice from the Citizens' Advice Bureau about what you can do...that's the practical bit but it sounds to me like it would be a struggle and in that case yes you might be better just to go NC.

I feel your pain OP.

It's not about the money at all. That's not what hurts most. It's about the principle of the matter and the lack of transparency - the not knowing the truth. After years of being told one thing, then finding out that the reality is actually something completely different.

I reckon what's happened is your dad had a financial LPA of your dad's assets and has been helping himself to any funds left in his bank account since his death. There would be no probate needed as banks wouldn't need to give permission if he already had an LPA in place before death.

Something similar happened to me when my dad died 4 years ago. Except it was worse. I was 'apparently' cut out of a 50/50 share of my childhood home (valued at £1m+) and I was told there was no will to even contest! The worse part was all the lies and secrecy surrounding it all. My dad insisted I would still be getting half the house, when he knew full well I wasn't going to be. He just didn't have the guts to tell me why!

So my sibling got the while house and unfortunately, that was the final straw that broke the camels back. After years of being badly treated by both dad and sibling, I cut contact. My life has bee much less stressful since, if I'm honest!

So I can totally understand in your situation, why you would want fo cut contact with your dad. I would probably do it in shoes.

I haven’t read the thread. Just get a copy of the will. Google will tell you how and the cost is £3 roughly.

im wondering if you are taking a few hundred pounds if so please check it charities - many of them would be helpful in making your garden secure for your daughter