Toddler left in her room 4 hours

[RedRobyn2021]

Come at me if you don't like what I'm going to say

I started following this girl on Instagram because she was pregnant like me and 18 months on I am still following her

She has just left her daughter in her cot for a nap for 3 hours. Her daughter hasn't been asleep for that entire time. She has just been in her cot alone, in a dark room with white noise on in the middle of the day.

She finally fell asleep and then she woke her an hour later because it would disrupt her bedtime.

I don't care if you all think I'm a horrible judgemental person, at the end of the day she thinks this is so acceptable that she's put it up on the internet for everyone to see.

Is this not a form of child abuse? Like wtaf am I being unreasonable????? At this age this kid is meant to be learning about the world around her not spending FOUR HOURS in a room in the dark ALONE in the middle of the day.

If I am being unreasonable, I actually don't care. I want to cry for that poor, poor kid. Like should I say something before I unfollow her? Or is this how some parents just treat their children on a daily basis? Is this what sleep training is??

People don’t even leave their pet dogs alone in a dark room for 4 hours in the middle of the day. People would say that’s cruel.

I would see the posting of this on the internet as a cry for help. Op call SS now - tonight. This is precisely how terrible things happen to small children. People doubting themselves and second guessing motivation.

it’s NEVER okay to leave a toddler in a cot for hours on end in the dark alone

I think you should comment then unfollow. It seems to have really shaken you up. It could be a one off or part of general pattern but you'll never know tbh unless she regularly broadcasts that she's mistreating her kid.

How do you know she wasn't regularly checking in? Did she definitely know child was awake if they weren't crying? If mine was awake and silent I wouldn't know, lost the monitor at about 2 so go by ear. Mine would never be silent though anyway

I wouldn't ever leave mine awake in the dark for that long, although if happy I'd give a decent amount of time to fall asleep (maybe 30-45 mins?) maybe checking in and resettling. If after that time sleep obviously wasn't happening, I'd get DC up and try again in an hour.

Doesn't matter. It's awful abusive behaviour.

She is a twat op. Can you report to NSPCC?

Anyway, what I meant was, "please don't say nasty things to me, surely this is not ok"
Surely "come at me" is inviting people to be argumentative and aggressive towards you rather than asking for them not to. Is that what it means?

She's saying she doesn't care if you disagree

Definitely say something

Why did she bother having children? It's like getting a dog and keeping it in a cage out the way so it doesnt inconvenience you. I'd say it's neglect and her being a lazy parent. The fact she shares what she's doing online suggests she doesn't think she is doing anything wrong. That poor child.

Really depends. I sometimes sort of leave my toddler in her cot for 90 minutes before she naps. I do check on her every 15-30 minutes, or if she calls me, but if she's talking to her bunny then I leave her be for up to 30 minutes at a time. She does cry when somethings up or if she wants a new nappy, some milk, if bunny fell out of the cot or if she wants out. Sometimes she goes to sleep quite quickly, sometimes she talks to her bunny first for a short or long time. She seems to chat more if we've had a busy morning or if something happened (bad fall or whatever) so I think it's her way of processing before her nap.

I could be wrong of course, but I do have a happy toddler that still cries for me so she hasn't given up.

If she showed picture clips throughout then she was consistently checking on her?

Because she said that she had been wide awake for 3 hours and showed clips of her in her cot

Perhaps she was exaggerating though? I just said to DH I'd eaten my body weight in biscuits, I haven't actually done that though...

and the child was asleep at some point

Report to SS or NSPCC they can track down who she is

And I assume the dark room was to encourage sleep?

I’ve never left my kid alone, day or night, when sleeping. But, I’ve no idea what other parents do.

Other babies might sleep differently to mine, other parents like particular nap / sleep routines.

I don’t really know why folk feel the need to share on Instagram etc... Is she an Influencer?

I find this very odd. An 18 month old just lying down for 3 hours?...
I have two boys and this just would never happen. Ever. I wouldn't even get a minute of them lying down content in their cot.

Maybe you could sending her a message out of curiosity....

I just find it really strange. Is she a public figure or a friend?

That's awful, so cruel. I could never do that. I doubt she cares what you think though and sadly doubt any comment from you will change how she treats her baby.

I think you are over-invested in this stranger's life

I’ve never left my kid alone, day or night, when sleeping. But, I’ve no idea what other parents do.

my nieces used to sleep for a couple of hours after lunch & have a nap in the morning & afternoon. That's when my sister used to eat, tidy, chat to me.

Wow that is absolutely child abuse. What a vile mother, I would message her and certainly unfollow her. Who in their right mind would think that this was acceptable?

My toddler sometimes goes up for a nap and doesn’t fall asleep straight away, rolls around singing to himself etc. sometimes he wakes from a nap and I leave him up for a bit because I can tell he’s perfectly happy and trying to go back to sleep.
as soon as he shouts or calls out for me or shows any sign of wanting to get up, I go up to him.

this is during the day, with blinds and curtains closed, no toys in the cot because it’s Naptime. I don’t think it’s mean to leave him like that for a little while - I think I’ve done this for an hour max when it’s been obvious that the rolling and chatting was part of the trying to get to sleep routine - but I wouldn’t leave him for three hours!

in the same vein if he wakes very early in the morning I leave him to roll around a bit and chatter to himself and only go in to try to re settle him. I might let him do that for an hour if he’s happy, then I’ll bring him in with me/give him books to read in the cot if he asks for them or get up with him.

three hours seems quite extreme if they are wide awake.

How old is the child exactly? Obviously less than 18 months, so is she in fact a baby who this random person you follow is just trying to establish a routine with and teaching (rather well by the sounds of it) to self sooth?

Thats not right, DD would never lie “happily” in her cot for 3 hours. It’s awful and neglectful. Sounds like the poor little thing knows no-one is coming to get her.

I wonder if she's exaggerating? Whether more happened in the 3 hours than was shared on SM? Whether she was going in, had a play, gave her an iPad or something.

If you don't know her in real life I'd take what you see on SM with a massive pinch of salt.