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AIBU?

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Original poster

40year old female friend dating 19 year old male

253 replies

Chatterbox473 · 29/07/2022 20:47

Close friend is 40 years old and is dating at 19 year old male.

Have advised her that i find this to be strange and creepy.

What are your thoughts on this?

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 31/07/2022 00:23

Wellhelloitsme
I wouldn't touch a 70yr old & I'm in my 40s! Blokes get away with so much more.

wellhelloitsme · 31/07/2022 00:33

Duchess379 · 31/07/2022 00:23

Wellhelloitsme
I wouldn't touch a 70yr old & I'm in my 40s! Blokes get away with so much more.

I agree they aren't judged as much as women doing the same. But they're still judged as it's such grim behaviour 🤢

VladmirsPoutine · 31/07/2022 00:36

I will never understand why on threads like this people say things like "Well at 19 I owned 2 houses had a child and was a high court judge". It matters not. 19 is incredibly young to be dating someone who is 40. It would be equally disgraceful if the sexes were reversed. Who cares that you can marry, smoke, fly a plane across the Atlantic at 19! This relationship is inappropriate. And will eventually come to an end. No-one cares if at 17 you married an 80yr old and now 40years later you have 3 beautiful children and love him as much as you did when you first met. It doesn't justify anything. This is disgraceful.

StarlightLady · 31/07/2022 07:15

Two consenting adults. Good on her! As long as she sees it for what it is! Fun.

And if they communicate well, he will come out a better lover for it too.

lightisnotwhite · 31/07/2022 07:24

A better lover? 🤮

HRTQueen · 31/07/2022 10:07

Who wants to be teaching someone to be a better lover

Such a turn off maybe some would
get a kick from this

Liorae · 31/07/2022 10:17

HRTQueen · 31/07/2022 10:07

Who wants to be teaching someone to be a better lover

Such a turn off maybe some would
get a kick from this

All of us I would hope. Isn't that what life is all about?

Kanaloa · 31/07/2022 10:32

Liorae · 31/07/2022 10:17

All of us I would hope. Isn't that what life is all about?

Show quote history

Waiting till your forties to ‘teach’ teens how to sexually pleasure you? Erm, not what my life is all about, no. Do you think the same the other way round? A teen girl’s life is ‘all about’ a forty something man teaching her how to have sex?

HRTQueen · 31/07/2022 10:35

Liorae · 31/07/2022 10:17

All of us I would hope. Isn't that what life is all about?

Show quote history

no life isn’t about teaching the young and the inexperienced to be better lovers

let them learn with others that are young and inexperienced let them learn and have their own life experiences

oiltrader · 31/07/2022 10:37

what a lucky lady. stop being jealous

Whatwouldscullydo · 31/07/2022 10:39

Liorae · 31/07/2022 10:17

All of us I would hope. Isn't that what life is all about?

Show quote history

Train them up fir the next one?

Good god.

Countyforever · 31/07/2022 10:41

Grim

CounsellorTroi · 31/07/2022 10:41

Who would want to be a sugar mummy?

namechanged4it · 31/07/2022 10:42

Mind your own business

Jedsnewstar · 31/07/2022 10:43

AhaLyn · 29/07/2022 21:41

No sorry, come on. 25 is when young people’s brains finish wiring up. Too young.

For females. Males it’s 30ish

nexus63 · 31/07/2022 10:53

my husband was 18 years older than me, he was 39, when we met i talked to him all day and night and moved in next day, we had 18 happy years together and a ds, let them be happy, if it works then great, mind your own business and let them get on with it or is it a bit of jealousy.

Susanmartha · 31/07/2022 11:04

Many years ago my 48 year old friend turned up at my house with her 17 year old new boyfriend. I worried that this relationship was at the least very unbalanced, and I'll be honest in that it did put some distance between us because she could tell that I was not at ease with the situation.

They moved away together and last year I met her again as she moved back to our town to help with childcare for her grandchildren ( we're both looking forward to our seventieth birthdays now), she told me that they lived together for twelve years before going their seperate ways and it was the best relationship of her life. My friend has always been very youthful, and is extremely physically attractive, maybe I worried too much all those years ago............

CounsellorTroi · 31/07/2022 11:08

Many years ago my 48 year old friend turned up at my house with her 17 year old new boyfriend. I worried that this relationship was at the least very unbalanced, and I'll be honest in that it did put some distance between us because she could tell that I was not at ease with the situation.

Awful. He was a child.

BiscuitLover3678 · 31/07/2022 12:01

Susanmartha · 31/07/2022 11:04

Many years ago my 48 year old friend turned up at my house with her 17 year old new boyfriend. I worried that this relationship was at the least very unbalanced, and I'll be honest in that it did put some distance between us because she could tell that I was not at ease with the situation.

They moved away together and last year I met her again as she moved back to our town to help with childcare for her grandchildren ( we're both looking forward to our seventieth birthdays now), she told me that they lived together for twelve years before going their seperate ways and it was the best relationship of her life. My friend has always been very youthful, and is extremely physically attractive, maybe I worried too much all those years ago............

That happens all the time with young girls marrying much older men and having no other understanding of normal relationships.

Loving or not he was too young when if started and it ended. Probably because he was so young at the start.

BiscuitLover3678 · 31/07/2022 12:01

Susanmartha · 31/07/2022 11:04

Many years ago my 48 year old friend turned up at my house with her 17 year old new boyfriend. I worried that this relationship was at the least very unbalanced, and I'll be honest in that it did put some distance between us because she could tell that I was not at ease with the situation.

They moved away together and last year I met her again as she moved back to our town to help with childcare for her grandchildren ( we're both looking forward to our seventieth birthdays now), she told me that they lived together for twelve years before going their seperate ways and it was the best relationship of her life. My friend has always been very youthful, and is extremely physically attractive, maybe I worried too much all those years ago............

Best relationship of her life because he was a kid and knew nothing else 😱

Susanmartha · 31/07/2022 12:28

BiscuitLover3678 · 31/07/2022 12:01

That happens all the time with young girls marrying much older men and having no other understanding of normal relationships.

Loving or not he was too young when if started and it ended. Probably because he was so young at the start.

Show quote history

I obviously thought it was too young, and it effectively ended our friendship for years.......now a part of me would like to know how he feels about it, if he equally valued the relationship was I too judgemental????

mycatisannoying · 31/07/2022 12:28

Desperate and cringey.

Shortjanet · 31/07/2022 12:42

Where to start? This thread makes grim reading. In the case of a 17 year old with a 30 year old DH I'd not only judge the DH but everyone around the 17 year old What the hell were her parents thinking? As for the PP who said something along the lines that we've evolved to have sex from 13, that people mature at different rates and age of consent is an arbitrary figure, what the actual fuck is that supposed to mean or justify? Then all the talk of training teenagers up and the DM smirking about her teen DS "gaining experience" with a much older woman. Maybe I've led a sheltered life but I'm so completely horrified by so much of this thread. Grotesque.

JustDanceAddict · 31/07/2022 15:01

Unsavoury whichever way round it is, sex-wise, plus what would you have in common? My DCs are around that age - can’t imagine a 40 year old being interested in what they are in to (and vice versa). 25-45 not as bad as by mid-20s you’re working and out of the ‘teen brain’.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 31/07/2022 15:03

Gross, creepy, makes me feel sick 🤢