40year old female friend dating 19 year old male

[Chatterbox473]

Close friend is 40 years old and is dating at 19 year old male.

Have advised her that i find this to be strange and creepy.

What are your thoughts on this?

Erm yes it is all different because we now understand and accept (or most of us) that adults shouldn’t want to have sexual relationships with teenagers and any man who is trying to have sex with teenagers is someone to avoid. And it’s realistically the same if someone is trying to date people half their age - why do they want to? What are they getting from dating a teenager without life and relationship experience that they can’t/don’t get from dating someone their own age with stronger experience and better ability to draw boundaries and recognise red flags? I wonder…

Truth be told, I feel mean criticising people who are happy with their setup but looking at the below pic it just looks like mother and teenage son to me.

Bleurgh.

A 40 year old shagging someone who could have been in sixth form last year is gross.

Regardless of the sex of either party.

In ten years time, when he's 38, he'll be in the situation where he could date somebody 30 years younger than his wife and not look out of place with them.

I find it wrong. I'm nearly 40 and I would look at 19 year olds as more or less children or teenagers, not as someone with the same level of maturity as me. I really hope he isn't going to look back at this when he's older and feel he was taken advantage of.

Well yes because she’s old enough to be his mother 😂 I mean imagine bringing him home to your teen daughter - ‘oh yes Aaron’s just left sixth form so he’ll be a dab hand at homework time!’

It doesn't matter whether you think it has anything to do with real life. It's a scientific fact that has only recently been fully understood, that young people's brains (especially young men's) aren't fully developed until the mid 20's.

And she was heavily criticised when their relationship became public. No doubt there are exceptions, as some PPs have described, but in most cases I believe much older women should leave 19 year old boys alone. And vice versa. Early to mid 20s is different.

Kanaloa so the married couples in this situation....you think that's bad?

I'm not criticising, just curious.

Wouldn't bother me as long as it looked like he's just having a laugh. If marriage was discussed I suppose would be a massive issue because hankering down that young with someone that age could be an issue !
If it's that tragic people should campaign to have the age of consent raised to 25!

But what's the result of that? Classify them as children till 25? Decide the age of who they can sleep with?

Exactly what happened with one of the couples I mentioned. Seems to have gone fine, 22 years later.

In what situation? In the situation of a man in his forties marrying a teenager? Yeah, I think that’s bad. I wouldn’t really keep someone as an acquaintance or friend if they dated/married teenagers in their forties. I’d think badly of them to be honest. Normal men and women in their forties don’t tend to trawl the local sixth form on results day for a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Honestly it makes me so uncomfortable.... Like she took advantage and should have known better!

I have absolutely no issue with age gaps but this is just too much of a stretch

I don't see the problem, he could be very mature for his age and her more immature which masked the gap feel smaller...
Let her have fun

And that’s what people don’t want to actually admit - this would be a man the age of your father coming to collect you from sixth form/drive you to uni. That’s weird. Why would he want to have a girlfriend who has just finished A-Levels instead of someone his own age? How did he come to be socialising with the very youngest women he could legally have sex with? Most men of 40 plus I know don’t really socialise with teenage girls outside of their daughters/relatives.

Oh sorry, I meant if you met them later in life....so now one couple is 60s/80s.

probably should log off as v tired.

<wanders off humming "come live with me" by Heaven 17>

What do you have to say about me and DH, then? Met when he was 19 and I was 30, married 23 years.

According to you though I suppose I'm not fit to be friends with and I'm subnormal. Good to know 😂

Oh okay. Someone in their 60s dating someone in their 80s I wouldn’t have a big issue with. It wouldn’t be for me personally but I wouldn’t take issue with somebody else doing it. But to me that’s very different than a 40 year old man or woman pursuing teenagers. The issue is the lack of life experience, immaturity, the ease with which that person could be manipulated. And it would prompt me to think ‘what type of person wants to date someone they’re in a position or power over?’

Creepy imho

“Incredibly weird. 19 is literally just outside being a teen.... how does she not feel disgusting”

^This

So not the situation of a man in his forties marrying a teenager, which is what I actually said. But if I’m honest, I would find it odd and uncomfortable if any of my friends started dating a teenager. However, I’m glad it’s worked out for you.

The grinning face about your son getting 'experience' is pretty revolting.

I’d be her friend and keep my nose out of it.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.