DP been so cruel about my weight

[Bananaramafan]

I'm supposed to be going camping with DP today.
Yesterday I mentioned I was going on a diet from Monday but asked him not to comment on it (his "humour" is often cruel and pathetic but I've tried to get used to it)
He couldn't help himself and said "oh you're going on a diet again - to lose the weight you so desperately need to"
I'm a stone and a half overweight. I'm going through the menopause and I'm 54.
I've woke up today (we don't live together)
and I'm still so angry/upset that I've messaged him and said I don't want to spend the weekend with him unless he apologises.
AIBU?

Really you can pay someone to be a handyman. And buy a dildo.

Your self esteem is much more fragile and difficult to repair. Value it more.

You sound like you're so desperate to have a relationship that you'll put up with anything.

This bloke sounds horrible. But you don't want to dump him because it's hard to find a partner.

I think you need to work on your self esteem so that you can gain some self respect and learn to see that any relationship is not better than living a healthy, positive life on your own.

You don't need this shit and you know it...

@Bananaramafan come on! You know very well you’re not being unreasonable.

Leave this man, mainly because he’s not funny. Do you really enjoy his company? Seriously, life’s too short to stay with someone who sort of bullies you, even if he’s nice at other times. It’s just to tacky to mock someone because of their weight.

I would have taken that as sarcasm meaning you didn't need to lose the weight. However he sounds a bit rude and clearly got the tone totally wrong. You're entitled to feel how you feel but if you can both discuss this calmly you might feel better. If I'm wrong and he's a knob then get rid of him. Life is too short!!

Well after 4 years you should have got all your odd jobs done by now.
Get yourself a rampant rabbit and dump him.

You're unreasonable to be with him at all.

(his "humour" is often cruel and pathetic but I've tried to get used to it)

Why would you try to get used to it?

Pick your self-esteem up off the floor and dump him.

There - weight problem solved!

Surely OP is commenting on her own body every time she tells someone she is going on a diet. I think it is more a sarcastic remark about regularly going on about going on a diet when in fact OP doesn’t ’desperately’ need to lose weight at all. Don’t know whether OP is 1.5 stone above the top end of healthy weight or 1.5 stone above the weight she’d rather be. Either way, it’s a pretty common weight, and far less than many women half her age.

Why is it hard?

Text: 'You are a horrible, spiteful person and I'm done.'

Then block

That's nowhere near as bad as the way he's treated you.

He thinks your overweight, but you're obviously still very attractive to him, otherwise you wouldn't be having sex.

I'd make plans for the weekend, whatever you fancy doing, whether a day trip out, clothes shopping, reading a book and sitting in sun, seeing friends.

Just because you're in your 50s doesn't mean you won't met someone. I'd ditch him, live a life without been ridiculed and when the time is right, Mr Right will turn up.

The fact you don't live together means it will be much easier to pull the plug on the relationship.

You know you don’t HAVE to be with anyone? Being on your own can be fucking awesome - especially when you don’t have to listen to someone else’s constant criticism.

it's sooo hard to meet someone in your 50s though!

Aaarge! Then just learn to be ok on your own, why do people put up with being belittled and treated like shit rather than just spend time alone?

Ok, this has swung it for me. I initially thought perhaps he was fed up with you saying you were going on a diet, never actually doing it and all the while he’s fine with your weight.
But this is horrible. I’d tell him to fuck right off.

I'm constantly amazed by women on MN who think it's better to be with an arse than to be alone. Society has really done a number on you if you think that is preferable!

He thinks your overweight, but you're obviously still very attractive to him, otherwise you wouldn't be having sex

Er people have sex for all kinds of reasons- doesn’t mean that he really, deep deep down doesn’t mean his words, and he ( again, deep deep down) cherishes the OP.
He’s still a test, even if he does shag the op

For four years I've asked him not to make cruel comments about my weight.

And not just my weight - he's so critical of most things - how I raise my daughter, my business, my siblings etc etc

Sorry OP but I find it hard to have sympathy for you when you are choosing to be treated this way.

It’s like me banging my head against a wall and then moaning that my head hurts.
Ultimately I’d need to stop banging my head against the wall or stop complaining about it.

If you think he’s cruel or overly critical then end the relationship.

I’m not trying to be harsh but I’m not sure what you want from this thread - surely you know everyone is going to just tell you to finish it.
Maybe you just people to confirm you’re doing the right thing by ending it.

Good job you don’t live together, get rid.

And if he apologises it’s probably just to shut you up. You really need to think about how much positivity he brings to your life.

You are clearly not compatible, I would end the relationship.

"oh you're going on a diet again - to lose the weight you so desperately need to"

Are you sure this wasn't sarcastic? I understand that tone is hard to read in text but just the words "so desperately" sounds like something someone might say when they are being sarcastic? Since you've said you're only 1.5 stone overweight, could it be he doesn't think you need to lose weight at all?

I'm not defending him at all if it wasn't, but sometimes we take things the wrong way when we are sensitive about them.

Sorry just read your updates, he sounds awful anyway. There's no way what he's said given the context could be construed as affectionate.

I'd not want someone like this in my life at all.

You know what you have to do....his toxic comments will eat away at you.

Not overreacting it all. You should feel proud of yourself for not learning to 'accept' thar sort of shitty put down behaviour. Enjoy your weekend and let him straighten himself out. If he doesn't, you've lost nothing and dodged a bullet.

I keep on askling this question

Why do you stay?