Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

[mummysept22]

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

Hooray! Hope you have a fabulous weekend, OP, and good luck with the baby.

I think that’s best, hope you have a restful remaining pregnancy now 😊

Haha, thank GOD

She sounds like a giant pain in the arse. Fine for to have food issues but not fine for her to invite herself to come and stay and then only mention her (multiple) food issues at the last minute.

Absolutely fine with people having dietary needs or principles and I'd always do everything I could to accommodate that, but in your aunt's case it really just sound like she's doing a lot of it for attention, not least because her preferences are so arbitrary and inconsistent. She won't eat meat, fish or eggs unless she knows exactly where it's from and how it was produced, but she will apparently eat cheese and butter without knowing anything about the provenance of that. She won't eat food prepared by trained staff in a regularly inspected restaurant or a takeaway with a five-star hygiene rating because she doesn't know how clean the kitchen is, but she will eat in someone else's house, where she has absolutely no idea if food safety advice is being followed or if anything is actually clean beyond what you'd see at a glance.

I would have zero time for this woman

I’m a bit disappointed we’re not going to get a live-update thread on the pasta and butter!

That’s the best result!

Do you think she saw this thread?!

But in seriousness, could there be a bigger issue?
dementia? Health issues?

Does she live on the island too?

I actually think she's trying not to be a burden and saying don't bother so you can relax a bit

Book a table for lunch she can just have a snack there.

Book the Indian

Result! What was her reason for cancelling?

Thanks, mystery solved. When I read the “very rurally on an island” bit I was thinking like Jura or Tiree so was thrown by the mention of a Waitrose!

I'm guessing the reason she's cancelled is that she sensed she wasn't welcome and didn't want to feel like such a burden by visiting you for one weekend. It's just life, I guess.

@tenbob no where near Anglesey. The waitrose and railway station are an hour away from me.

@tenbob no she wouldn't have seen this I don't think.

@Forgiveitall I have no indication I was annoyed by these last min changes or requirements. I didn't rise to any of it - pretended it was all good and we would sort it out. Partly because I sense she wanted to provoke a reaction and partly because that's just not me, I try to be accommodating (despite what some people may think on here 🤣). It's all for the greater good. Hopefully we can see each other for a shorter time. And me and hubby have a lovely free weekend together, perhaps our last before the baby comes. X

@Forgiveitall *gave no indication

@10HailMarys yes I am rather pleased! It's all very odd. She agreed and sounded excited by these plans a few weeks ago- no mention of these restrictions then. I told her I would book tables for Sunday lunch and seafood. she also commented that she doesn't eat pasta when I said thats what I was having for dinner one evening. So I'm confused that's now all she wants to eat 🤦🏻‍♀️

If she had seen this thread then she would have identified herself immediately.

I still think you are BU to characterise her request as 'demanding', OP. It could just be that she's recovering from a gastric bug or something and wanted to stick to plain food. You'll never know now though.

No idea why people are acting as if op is some kind to deviant because she likes eating out.

staying in and eating plain pasta sounds utterly shit

especially when pregnant and you can’t even have a glass of wine to take the edge off

I wonder if she’s worried about the cost of eating out and takeaways but doesn’t want say

Ooo you should do every meal out as a event now.your last weekend breakfast lunch and tea at all your fave places!

did she seem ok though.she sounded out of character from the start of these issues?
not possible depression.eating disorder.money worries?
now cancelling so close and so abruptly. Have you had a serious investigations with her to make sure she is ok?

Does she not know that eggs come via the cloaca - along with chicken shit coming out & cock sperm going in ?

Check the restaurants food hygiene listing on: ratings.food.gov.uk/

Bet your life she’ll gaily respond with “ That’s ok!
l’m just getting over it myself!

Males aren’t needed to make eggs -
But a cleanly kept genuine free range egg laid by a healthy chicken shouldn’t be pooey. :)

Probably for the best. Quite sad as the whole thing points to someone who has become over-anxious and rigid - I wonder if she's one of those people really struggling to adjust back to 'normal' life after Covid, especially with the new aversion to eating out. Or it may be age-related - people often get increasingly 'fussy' about things as they get older and have to do less and less thinking about other people.

I'm really surprised so many people think it's reasonable for a guest to say they won't eat out or have a takeaway - insisting that you'll only have homecooked food when you're being hosted is incredibly rude. If there's a genuine reason for it you should both be apologetic and offer to bring all the food you'll need with you yourself (not just wine and cheese, particularly for a pregnant woman!) - even if you say you're fine with 'easy' food it's still rude to demand someone else cooks for you when they've suggested an arrangement that means they won't have to!

@Hardbackwriter it sounds awful but I honestly think she just enjoys getting a reaction and having a debate on anything and everything. You may have seen from my previous posts she was quite happy with the plans just a few weeks ago. And she also made a comment about how she doesn't eat pasta, just a few weeks ago when I told her that's what I was having for dinner one evening - but now that's all she wants to eat?
Back in the day I remember her asking staff to move tables in restaurants if she didn't like where they were. Trying 5 different wines then going back to the first but demanding a fresh bottle. She is just very picky and set in her ways. This was 10 years ago and She's only 60 now so she's not exactly old! And without meaning to sound crass, she's loaded, for all those people who think it may be a money issue. It's not.

This is much more extreme but she has acted similarly in the past. When you get annoyed or bite back, she turns it all round on you. I suppose a big reason why we haven't seen each other for so long and as I said I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt- it's family after all. But I don't really need this stress ever, certainly not at this point in my life.