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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mummysept22 · 29/07/2022 20:09

She's also a psychologist and says anxious people are the worst patients... it does make you wonder I suppose?!

OP posts:
Firstworldprobs · 29/07/2022 20:32

mummysept22 · 29/07/2022 20:09

She's also a psychologist and says anxious people are the worst patients... it does make you wonder I suppose?!

Christ she sounds delightful 😒

Ortega888 · 29/07/2022 21:24

Try and accommodate your Aunty as she’s a guest in your home. It will only be for 2 days so work around her and once she’s at your home it should all just work itself out. Perhaps ask another friend to stop if you have room so you have back up. Maybe if you want to cancel ask her to do another time as with being pregnant maybe you just need rest and have no stress. Whatever you decide to do it will be fine. Let us know how you go on

tenbob · 29/07/2022 22:28

Ortega888 · 29/07/2022 21:24

Try and accommodate your Aunty as she’s a guest in your home. It will only be for 2 days so work around her and once she’s at your home it should all just work itself out. Perhaps ask another friend to stop if you have room so you have back up. Maybe if you want to cancel ask her to do another time as with being pregnant maybe you just need rest and have no stress. Whatever you decide to do it will be fine. Let us know how you go on

Maybe read the thread 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Threelittlelambs · 30/07/2022 00:14

Let us know how you go on

She did.

HettyMeg · 30/07/2022 03:49

You're not being unreasonable, she should be more sensitive to the fact you're heavily pregnant and need the most relaxing fuss-free option possible.

QueenyBeezNeez · 30/07/2022 04:44

Best response! lol. 😂

greenteafiend · 30/07/2022 05:28

I'm not a fan of going out for meals - it's expensive, never that great, noisy and a faff. I'd much rather have a nice meal at someone's house where it's relaxed and you can hear yourself speak.

It's OK to have that as a preference, but the Auntie was planning on basically making the OP cook things for her, and that's pretty rude when you're a guest in someone's house. If she didn't want to eat out, she should have let the OP know well in advance and discussed some solutions, like offering to bring things like quiche and smoked salmon and bread and things that don't need much prep.

Since she has canceled anyway, it doesn't matter much now!

Runki · 30/07/2022 09:32

I only have one thing to say about this. PICKY BITS!!!!

purplegal · 31/07/2022 11:39

@Runki ok can someone explain the picky bits thing to me please? 🤣 x

Runki · 31/07/2022 11:56

@purplegal I have lost count of the times people have mentioned in this thread getting in some "picky bits" for the aunt to eat!!! 😂

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 31/07/2022 19:12

user143677433 · 28/07/2022 20:59

She’s essentially saying she doesn’t want to eat out. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

Yeah - I think it’s probably as simple as that

Sapphirensteel · 31/07/2022 19:27

Oh God, I’ve got an ex friend like this, almost wants to know the name of the person who picked the leaves in her tea bag.
Buy salad, cheese, pasta, butter, eggs. Take everything out of its packets. Tell its all artisan, sourced locally. Everything is organic, few range and any other names you can throw at it.
Book a table where you want, if she doesn’t want to eat, tough.

ChilledBeez · 01/08/2022 10:57

I'm surprised you invited someone with this personality type so close to your due date. Who would need the extra pressure of a picky guest around them when heavily pregnant? I would have put her off until the baby was born, and that way you don't have to focus on her and her needs.

dawntreadr1 · 01/08/2022 16:59

at meals cooked at home have a pasta option or find restaurants that have pasta for her. the end. you are heavily pregnant which is more than enough of an excuse to not want to put on dinners for guests imo, if she needs special food, she should offer to find ingredients and cook. if not, she is the guest, you are the one hosting, you get to choose how the visit goes, not her. especially if she is staying at your house... a custom i never have understood. i like seeing family , but even people i like, at end of day i want my own place to decompress and relax. i dont want suprise people knocking at my door early morning, and i want an exit route . i am curous what her reason for visit is if she hasnt before now?
in any case, dont stress yourself out, not good for you or the baby.

gatehouseoffleet · 01/08/2022 18:58

Runki · 31/07/2022 11:56

@purplegal I have lost count of the times people have mentioned in this thread getting in some "picky bits" for the aunt to eat!!! 😂

The aunt probably read this thread and was put off by the idea of "picky bits". Yuck. It sounds like you've picked your nose.

dawntreadr1 · 01/08/2022 20:24

picky bits... that is a kind of gross sounding way of putting things.

gamerchick · 02/08/2022 08:59

Love the people clutching their pearls at picky bits, like they've never had picky bits in their life.

Personally we call it shit on a plate.

stuntbubbles · 02/08/2022 09:43

gamerchick · 02/08/2022 08:59

Love the people clutching their pearls at picky bits, like they've never had picky bits in their life.

Personally we call it shit on a plate.

No one’s clutching their pearls at the concept, just the term!

Doubleraspberry · 02/08/2022 10:32

Where on earth do you get pearl clutching from?

Picky bits sounds like scabs.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/08/2022 13:31

I'm neutral on the term 'picky bits'. 'Clutching at pearls' otoh....

Youdoyoutoday · 02/08/2022 17:02

@mummysept22 how was the weekend? Have you recovered yet?

Constantcrayfish · 02/08/2022 19:46

Youdoyoutoday · 02/08/2022 17:02

@mummysept22 how was the weekend? Have you recovered yet?

Probably, as her aunt cancelled her visit.

Bellaboo01 · 02/08/2022 19:55

She isn't 'requesting' anything though. She just doesn't want to or expect you to cater for her in a restaurant (maybe she cant afford it).

Have a sandwich on the day she is due back as i am sure that is all she is expecting or maybe cook a roast at home.

Just buy vegetarian food, or wait till she gets there and go to the supermarket together, buy some bits and pieces or bung a couple of pizzas in the oven.

It sounds like you are being more demanding than her (by the way, i would be exactly the same as you as i like to know a plan etc but, i also hardly ever enjoy eating out and would rather do it myself).

rainbowstardrops · 02/08/2022 20:21

The aunt cancelled!!!! At least read the OP's post