Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

[mummysept22]

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

The aunt sounds hard work... but I would love to live on an Island with a Waitrose!

While your guest's requirements are out of order for being late, they are simple, so I'd roll with it. I'm visiting the UK this year and faintly dreading lots of eating out as it's tiring after travel, expensive and more importantly noisy, so you can't really relax and talk.

I much prefer to eat at my host's home as I can really talk to them. I would never insist. Of course I will bring the flowers/wine/roubles for the meter/ bucket of water, etc. as well as being undemanding in terms of food.

I should say when I have visitors from overseas, I never suggest a restaurant for those reasons.

I hope it all goes well, OP.

Exactly what I was going to suggest. This is the only silver lining of Covid.

Er, UK?

Personally I would preparing a normal dinner that you eat at home, and if she doesn't like it, she can get up and make herself a sandwich or such like...

However I would confront if she watched the cheese being made and matured, and also the wine. I think she is pulling your strings with her wish list.

Im thinking she should have given you WAY more notice of her food habits. I know I have some unique eating requirements and I wont visit anyone without letting them know at least 2-3 weeks ahead

Tell her you have been having minor contractions and are being admitted to hospital for observation.

Seconded. You've got so little precious time left. Cancel her, you're doing everyone a favour and try to go for some lovely meals with your DP. I don't understand the people trying to tell you eating out is stressful. Much easier and more enjoyable. My baby is 4 months and eating out now has been a few hurried lunches. Enjoy your last freedom, don't burden yourself with this old nag

I don't understand the people trying to tell you eating out is stressful

I posted about this. I"m not aware that anyone has said this, I certainly didn't. It is not an automatically good thing, especially if the visitor is someone who hasn't seen you for a long time: noisy and expensive as well.

She should have told you earlier.

Now, though, I'd just count on what you've got in the house or have ordered, plus the Waitrose trip. I wouldn't buy anything else until she's there (unless you want it yourself) - it may be there's a lot she'll eat but she has to browse and choose. I think people are saying vegan or vegetarian because she specified that she needed to know the provenance of fish, meat, and eggs, so maybe other food is safe somehow? I'd be sending her pics of the pasta and butter, though, so if it's not acceptable she can pick up something else on the Waitrose trip. Bet she does eat the seafood, though! 😊

Since she won't eat out or do takeaway at all I guess it's either eat at home or take a picnic from what she's deemed acceptable. I'd still do the days out, just take food. Maybe you and your partner can go out for an early dinner out after you drop her off on Sunday?

Me to ending in off.😂😂😂

Respond "So sorry Auntie, I could have catered for you if you had told me earlier about your batshit whims dietary concerns. Since it's so last minute, and we're stuck on the island and I'm eight and a half months pregnant, I'm afraid we're not able to provide much that you might enjoy. It would be a great idea for you to bring your own food."

Alternative parting shot:
"All in all, it might be a better idea to reschedule your visit."

She didn't say the nearest train station (and the nearby Waitrose) were on the island. She may have to drive quite a way to pick up the Aunt.

Why is this so hard though..

Pick her up... in the car you say:

'we're going to Waitrose, unfortunately Im so pregnant I really can't stand long enough to cook now so the options are takeaway, cold things from the fridge or you can cook for yourself and we'll get out of your way. Let me know and you can get what you need for the weekend whilst we're in the supermarket'.

Then she knows the score, you aren't cooking, she can if she wants.. or not!

Then if you're getting food, prepping cold things, ask her if she wants what is on offer and if she doesn't she can make herself something instead.

Easy peasy. She's family, she's not the fucking Queen!

You seem to be making this a much bigger deal than it is.

Guest - Just pasta and butter is fine.
You - Whatever pasta and butter I buy will be wrong. I can't bear the idea of her just having pasta and butter.

Guest - I like to know where my eggs come from
You - I can source local eggs but I feel like they won't be good enough.

If the meat/dairy/eggs welfare thing is an issue presumably she’ll also want to know the provenance of the butter!

Take her to Waitrose on the way home. Go out for Indian the night before she arrives, and book the pub table anyway – surely if she was happy to skip lunch on Sunday she’ll be equally happy to have wine and not eat while you’re there? (I bet she would eat. She sounds like my difficult aunt who would claim all these things, then eat everything she said she wouldn’t, then claim she’d said no such thing.)

Tbh I would make up an excuse and put her off. Say you might be going into early labour and need to rest or something. She just sounds like a bit too much like hard work at this moment.

My aim is to be like this when I grow up. Utterly unreasonable but very polite. I’m going to have charming foibles and wear a mad hat.

I'm not a fan of going out for meals - it's expensive, never that great, noisy and a faff. I'd much rather have a nice meal at someone's house where it's relaxed and you can hear yourself speak.

Pasta and butter?? Weird.

I loathe people like her. It’s fine to have likes and dislikes but what I loathe is people who spring it on you last minute and expect you to hop to it.

Oh dear I hope it goes OK. Good luck.

Do you have a delivery type service.uber ests,deliveroo?could you use them.that way it's not that awkward bit you don't like of serving different.and you all get to choose and you still feel your kind of eating out?dont let this visit exhaust you.that not on.she should be coming and making life easier for some one so close to baby day!
And her food shit goes beyond just vegan or choosing welfare etc.sounds just a bit picky to suit.
Do what you want to op.say this is what we had planned today how does that sound.
Could we have a Google for you.see if we can scope any insanely ckeaneating place near you.
Waitrose too does all that type of food in sure.
I might also put some eggs in a nice looking plain egg box and "pretend" you ordered them in spcially from a pro chi ken life,live in the fields farm.

Have you never had pasta and butter with a grating of parmiagno at a Italian restaurant.seriously it's a dish of gold lol

I won't tell you all what was in the sausage rolls we fed a guest like this!