When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

[Hopeandlove]

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

😂 love this

Oh dear! 😂

According to family legend, my elder sister was horrified to be offered a 'hot dog' at the first birthday party she attended without parents staying on.

My dd thought that a pub near our house was the big brother house. Only told me years later when she realised it wasn't.

Awh this is so pure I love it.

When I was young we moved into my grandads house after gran died. We got a new security system installed around the same time we moved in..but I couldn't understand why we hadn't been using it straight away, my Grandads response was:

"We will when the dust settles"

I said "why does that set the security system off?"

He nearly died laughing and I thought it was a legitimate response?!!? 😂 I clearly wasn't familiar with "proverbial dust"

My aunties husband was named Cliff. He was never there when I went to her house and I'd got into my head that she was married to Cliff Richard! I was only about 5. Turned out he was never there because he had passed away before I was born.

I’ve mentioned it on threads like this before, but when DD was about 3, we were approaching the old Forth bridge in our car.
I asked her to dig out some change to pay the toll.
We reached the tollbooth, DD passed me the money and I handed it to the chap inside.
As I pulled away, I noticed DD was cowering in her seat, looking petrified. “Mummy,” she whispered, “Was that the troll?”
The poor child had misheard, and thought it was a troll bridge, like in the three billy goats gruff!
The new Queensferry crossing is toll free, but for years we always crossed the “troll bridge” to visit Edinburgh!

I once asked my very mathematical seven-year old if he could tell me what 785 divided by three was. I could see he was struggling and after a bit he said he didn't know the exact answer. I said don't worry, just tell me roughly.

So he came over, grabbed me by my shirt collar and growled "I don't know!"

😂

That is brilliant just brilliant

Earlier this year when we were visiting Skegness, my son kept asking about monsters. It took a while to realise he had Loch Ness and Skegness confused

When writing a common exception word (displayed in the classroom), I told my class I'd be very impressed if they wrote the word without looking.

Cue most of the class coving their eyes to write the word

So, when I was a child I had a thing about lions. For some reason this was a particular fear for me. There was a man who walked a ginger chow chow in the park near our house. I was 100% sure this was a lion. I was nervous about it, but played it cool because I could see it was on a lead. What I remember most is how aggravated I was that my parents would patronise me by lying that it was a dog. I mean, I could see it was a lion, and I could see that is was on a lead and couldn't get to me. I distinctly remember my annoyance that they thought they could pull the wool over my eyes like that. I was probably about 5.

When he was around 5, my son read one of the motorway signs that says:
TIREDNESS KILLS
NEXT SERVICES 2 MILES
He got very distressed that night when his younger sisters were messing around trying to delay going to bed because he was worried that they might fail to get enough sleep and drop dead.

His agitation was nothing in comparison with the fuss one of my sisters made when Mum told her that the little lights in the middle of the road were called cats' eyes.

Oh and I've just remembered a really weird one. I knew that when you died when your heart stopped beating. For some reason, I interpreted this to mean that everybody had a pre-determined number of heartbeats, and when they ran out, you died. That's why it was better to have a slow heartbeat. So they lasted longer.

I have no idea why I thought this.

This is fantastic 😂

Some otherwise intelligent adults still believe this to be the case and like to debate the extent to which the increase in your heart rate with exercise is offset by the fact that habitual exercisers have slower resting heart rates.

Life's too short ...

😂😂

A friend invited us to an informal party in her newly remodelled garden. In her email invitation, she said, "Hopefully the sun will shine and we'll all be able to enjoy the decking." Reading over my shoulder, my youngest daughter said, "Does that mean people are going to fight?"

Can't remember the exact details but think my dad walked on a floor my mum had just mopped before putting my sister to bed and she made a flippant comment about him being "in the dog house".

My sister went to school the following day and told her teacher than mummy was annoyed at daddy and made him sleep in the kennel last night!

These are brilliant 🤩. Until I was about 12 I thought the mast at Alexandra Palace was the Eiffel Tower (which I knew was in Paris).

I used to think (aged 6 or so) your heart stopped beating when you were asleep, so when I was pretending to be asleep for the nighttime check in by a parent I would try and get my heart to stop and I was convinced that's how they knew I wasn't really asleep! 🙄

I’m fairly certain my seven year old doesn’t know he lives on planet earth, certainly acts like he doesn’t.

We speak Urdu, we don’t really know any other Urdu speakers, he heard someone else speaking it when he was six, he genuinely thought it was a secret language between us.

My gran lived on the top floor of a building of flats (must've been 3rd or 4th floor). When she and my grandad decided to move, I couldn't understand how they were going to take the flat off the building to move it somewhere else 🙈

I also asked my mum once why the moon was following us.

DD had just turned three and it was coming up to Christmas and she thought it was Santa’s birthday we were celebrating.
When ds2 was around the same age he told his big brother and sister it was ‘ok if mum died because she’d come back to life three days later and we’ll all get chocolate’.

I clearly neglected their religious education somewhere along the way.