When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

[Hopeandlove]

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

My 5 yo nephew went to the atm with my brother as he was withdrawing cash in a Asda atm where it's always dodgy there. At the end he shouted out " Daddy Daddy I know which numbers you pressed, it's - - - -" really loudly where there was a massive queue behind. My brother was mortified as it's a really dodgy area where people usually get mugged for drugs.

And one from my dd, she was 9. She came and woke me up one morning saying 'Muuuum, there has been a volcano erupted in Iceland,I bet its made a right mess of the high street'!

I can just see the image going through her head of frozen fish fingers and chicken nuggets showering the town 😂

Loving this thread.

When DD was about 5 or 6 we were talking about "olden days" and she said she wouldn't like to live back then because they threw wee over you and shouted "Hallelujah." I was a bit stunned, I mean she was going to a Catholic school and I knew one of the things she had learnt on her first day was the sign of the cross, but this latest revelation sounded super weird.

Turned out she had it mixed up with the medieval practice of throwing your slops out of the window and warning the people below with a cry of "Gardez l'eau"

When I was younger I used to go into town with my parents every Saturday, one day we were walking through boots the chemist when I picked up a bottle of Dior Poison and liberally sprayed myself before clicking the name on the bottle. It took my poor parents hours of patient convincing to get a hysterical me to believe I wasn't about to die.

When my eldest daughter was about six, she looked down at her dinner with great concern and asked ‘do pigs poo sausages’?

More my gullibility really. I was about 6 and heard my older sister singing a song about love being in the air. I commented that I liked it. She told me she'd made the song up. Was nearly 10 more years before I realise she fibbed

My youngest brother is 13 years younger than me and told me a few years ago (now in his 20s) that when he was a kid he thought I was a foreign exchange student for years! Apparently he didn't know anyone with a sister so didn't know what that was but a few of his friends had students living with them

My daughter thought when you had a baby and people ask you how much was he/she and they say 'oh eight pounds' or whatever, that's what you have to pay for them so we're driving in the car one day and she says 'so how much did you pay for little bro' and we're like what? She says 'yeah well I was six pounds so how much was he 🤣

I spent years thinking that anyone who stole from my local co op would have to work as a prostitute as punishment. All because I read the 'thieves will be prosecuted' sign wrong😂

I went to buy some drain cleaner today to unblock the bathroom plug.

My 5 year old heard "brain cleaner" and was horrified.

another one, again from my eldest daughter when she was about four or five. When we were out one day we saw a large transporter wagon with a mobile home on the back of it. Cue her saying ‘ooh look mummy, someone’s moving house!’. She thought that moving house meant relocating your existing home to a new location, not moving into a new house.

I was 16 when I discovered a Womble wasn't a real animal! I was gutted so my mother bought me a cuddly one 🥰

Both my sets of grandparents died when I was very young so I don’t remember them at all. Because of this I didn’t realise that adults had parents. I thought only children had parents. I don’t know what I thought happened to them when you became an adult though. I remember being very confused when a teacher was talking about her mum.

this has cracked me right up🤣

My SIL was telling my niece how babies come out. I have twins. My niece asked 'so mummy when Auntie Luge had X and Y which one came out of the front hole and which out of the back'.

Ouch.

When I was little I thought worms were baby snakes.

I was changing DS the other day and for some reason his poo was very dark. He said, “Look, the poo is big and black like the night sky”. Wtf? 😂😂

I didn't get the joke at first. I was just thinking that I'd probably react the same if somebody ambushed me with a maths question 😂😂

My dd when she was little said that they were having a 'bug' day off school. She had misheard an INSET day and thought it was an insect day which she had in turn changed to a bug day. Another DD used to love the shoe song. 'I want to praise you like a shoe' praise you by fat boy slim

When I was younger, I thought you got to choose if you had a boy or girl baby when they were born. If you wanted a girl, you chopped all the umbilical cord off, if you wanted a boy, you left a bit!
I only found out the umbilical cord was attached where your belly button is when my brother was born when I was 6.

I know I had to read it twice it’s hilarious

One of the few things that has not need much inflation😂

At the garden centre, 2 year old and I saw lots of dogs. I was explaining that when dogs are happy they wag their tails. But that when we are happy- to be shouted down with " Daddy can wag his tail ". She's our constant companion in the littlest room 🙄

These are so funny - thank you.

my 8 year old wants a day trip
to Timbuktu- I often tell him that’s where we are going and when we don’t arrive I say sorry we have to get back for lunch or whatever 😂it is a real place in W Africa - might take a while to get there.

Im now trying find where the phrase comes from!

Driving back from visiting my grandparents when I was little, my mum turned to my dad and announced "ooh, I could murder a Chinese". I was so horrified, why would she want to do that? !! Took her ages to explain she wasn't planning a racial killing spree as she was laughing so much!

I went to Wales on a holiday as a toddler and remembering being very disappointed that it wasn't some kind of massive Seaworld type place