When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

[Hopeandlove]

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

Oh I do have another, my son had a cold and we were out of proper tissues so I told him there was tissue in the toilet. He insisted there wasn’t several times, he eventually came back with some wet tissue. He put it in and then fished it out of the toilet

Love it

Haha imagine if you hadn't stopped him 🙈

😂😂😂 The baby factory, that's great!

When my dsis was about 7, she had a favourite book - The Battle of Bubble and Squeak, by Phillipa Pearce. It was about a couple of hamsters. It finished up with a line that went something like, “And then they all had bubble and squeak for tea.” We didn’t realise for ages that dsis thought they actually ate the hamsters.

We live near a crematorium and so would often see funeral processions. My son aged about 5 had asked me what they were and I’d answered him in an age appropriate way and checked he’d understood it. I was quite proud of how I’d handled a what could have been a tricky subject. About a week later we were out with with a couple of friends and another funeral procession passed by. My son said “ oh I know what that is don’t i mummy ? “ I nodded proudly until he said “ that’s when you die and they chuck you on a bonfire “ oops maybe lost in translation somewhere.

When dd was about 3, in the back of the car, she’d been silent for ages. Worried, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw she had tears rolling down her face. I asked her what was wrong and she replied, “It’s car insurance, Mummy, I just can’t stop thinking about car insurance.”
I still, to this day, have no idea why she was thinking about it, or why it had made her cry……..or even how she knew the words 🤣

My son when Windsor castle had a fire and they were changing what Windsor Safari Park into Lego land.

Announced that they were rebuilding the castle out of Lego! Which the Queen was not going to be very happy with!

I took DD to Disneyland in Paris when she was about 6. She was really excited about the Buffalo Bill Wild West show, sat quietly through it and at the end asked "but Mummy where was the Wild Gruffalo?". She was distraught when she discovered the "big hairy cows" were the star attraction.

I thought she’d mixed up retainer with retriever, maybe?

Dd1 11 asked whether a bottomless brunch advertised at a local hotel meant that people didn't wear trousers 🤣😂

I remember being outraged about clay pigeon shooting. I was corrected with "it's only clay!" I replied "I don't care what you shoot them with, you shouldn't be shooting pigeons with anything" 🙈

When I was 6 or 7 I had to go to the opticians during a school day. My mam said meet me in reception at whatever time it was. So I sat and quietly waited In the reception cloakroom for ages, saw people go up and down stairs, I was wondering why they looked panicked. Turns out she didn’t mean reception where the 4 and 5 year olds were but the school office- everyone was wondering how I’d vanished!

I gave my DD2 a sweet, saying "This is for going in the potty." However she got confused and put the sweet in the potty!😆

So he came over, grabbed me by my shirt collar and growled "I don't know!"

😂😂😂

My DD came in in a foul mood with me the other day and told me our conditioner was cruel. It has ‘extract of kangaroo paw’ in it.

I was so impressed that she’d bothered to read the bottle (she’s 12 and considers that reading went out with the arc) I didn’t even laugh (Very much, anyway)

Although my favourite was when she wanted to ‘horse ride’ and I no, said it hurts my knees. She’s said I needed Ipads!

A female member of my extended family looked like Boy George and I was convinced she was him! I even told children in school
🤦🏼‍♀️

@PeppaPigIsBacon no - “retainer” is a synonym for servant. My mum was telling a story about how this high and mighty lady had made her servant sit in the back and dog in the front. My sister thought it was a dog a bit like a retriever hence not understanding why my mum thought it was funny/worthy of note

Not so pure but my son was about 14 when he heard me ask my friend on the phone to bring some tabs round as I'd run out.
I meant dishwasher tablets, he thought I meant drugs!

My (Scottish) brother asked his Yorkshire niece if she wanted to clap the dog and she too gave it applause 🤣

i was babysitting my cousins daughter when she was small and learning to count. She got to 5 and after praising her I asked if she could count higher. She counted to 5 again but in a cracking falsetto tone

That's Just made me laugh out loud 😂 x

When DD was about 4, she came into the sitting room one evening, I was watching an old black and white film. She asked why it looked funny, I told her that it always used to look like that (or something similar). She looked at the TV, then looked at me again, and asked when the world became coloured.

2 that my grandparents love to repeat to me.

My Grandad would often drive me out to the countryside to go for a walk, I was only young probably 4 ish and I was begging him to take me (my grandparents brought me up) My Nanna kept saying its the wrong time of year but as I was insisting My Grandad took me. Upon our return my Nanna asked me if I'd had a nice time and I replied ' The country is closed, they have rolled it all up). 🤦‍♀️

The second one,we were rushing out the door fir school and my Nanna said fgs you have put your shoes on the wrong feet, I burst into tears and said 'I don't have any other feet'.

Years ago one of our friends worked in the jewellery quarter in Birmingham.
One day my ds 5 was watching Snow White. As the seven dwarves all started singing "hi ho" etc and gathered their shovels to go down the mine, ds said that they were going to meet our friend as he too worked down in the diamond mine

One summer day, my friend, who's never lived outside London, and I were sitting in my garden and could hear shooting.

She asked what they were shooting, and I replied that at that time of year it was almost certainly clay pigeons.

After a long pause, she asked how to tell the difference between a clay pigeon and a wood pigeon. She was 30-odd at the time though, so not a child!