When children get the wrong end of the stick - Light hearted

[Hopeandlove]

So my very intelligent 15 year old told me this morning that up until she was 7 she didn’t know she lived on Planet Earth 😂🙄😜
In her school they were taught to recycle to help save Planet Earth etc and she thought it was a different planet our paper was going to be remade and sold in order to raise money in order to preserve it.

She saw planet earth as this wonderful pure planet that was all green and blue with all nature on it and …. Not us.

We lived on the Ground. She asked her teacher eventually where Planet Earth was and her teacher said here and she got very confused.

She thought planet earth was very small and pretty as it could be held in god’s hand 🤦‍♀️And we had to be very careful it was protected from humans as some people weren’t nice! 👌

probably a lot of truth in that

When I was a child I used to get upset on long journeys when I needed the loo and we used to drive past place after place with big signs saying "TOILET"...

Problem was that they actually said "TO LET"...

What I don't understand though, is why my parents didn't just bloody explain it to me, instead of leaving me confused and upset!

I used to think when people moved house they must arrange a swap with someone else, otherwise it would be far too complicated! I did wonder how people usually managed to find someone who wanted to swap...🤔

There was a famous book about a lion called Christian who was bought as a cub from Harrods. www.amazon.co.uk/Lion-Called-Christian-Anthony-Bourke-ebook/dp/B0038LB3Z4/ref=sr_1_1?crid=P5RQ0W7ABTUQ&keywords=a+lion+called+christian&qid=1659092260&s=books&sprefix=a+lion%2Cstripbooks%2C93&sr=1-1

A related one, I thought that no one could live past 100 and if you lived until you were 100 you would drop dead on your 100th birthday.

Also my DB aged about three. Mum explained one Christmas they were having a turkey for dinner. But when he saw the table all laid for Christmas dinner he asked “but where is the turkey going to sit?”

When was little I remember asking my Gran what it was like living in black & white as a child

When my DM told me about periods I initially thought once you started you bled continuously 😱
When I was a teen I asked her what ‘nest’ was - I meant thrush and said ‘I knew it was something to do with birds.’

When DS was very small and still in nappies I told him I was just going to get changed. “Have you done a poo, mummy?” He replied 😂

My DH is another one who thought as a child that moving house meant simply picking up your house and moving it to a new location!

My DSD got somehow very confused about tampons along the way and thought that “big girls bleed because they put needles in their vagina” 😳 she thought the applicator was like a syringe!

When I was little the Benetton ad campaigns were famous/controversial, and I remember it being talked about in terms of racism = to dislike someone 'just because of the colour of their skin'.
Being a young child to whom favourite colours were of course very important, for a long time I thought that racism was literally just about whether someone liked/disliked someone's skin colour, eg if they liked light brown, dark brown, peach etc. It took me a good few years to realise there was anything more to it than that!

I was buying a gift from the team for a colleague's new baby and took my DS (9 at the time) round Mothercare and TK Maxx looking for a mobile, which the mum had requested. No good ones to be found but plumped for a really nice activity centre which converted into a walker. My son commented "Well that's much better than a phone for a baby, anyway!"

I have a couple from when DS was little. Once he came home from school, where he'd been learning about the Tudors and told me that Bloody Mary had killed all the prostitutes 😂
On another occasion, when DH and DD were away, he told one of the staff at his after-school club that they'd gone to Dolphin. Cue blank looks all round, then he exclaimed "Oh no, I mean Whale!"
They'd gone to Snowdonia...

I was told by one of 6yo DSs friends the other day that he loved coming to our house because we were millionaires.
We are most definitely not millionaires however it turns out that it's because we have a big garden that we must be millionaires and he couldn't wait to go on our private jet 😳
We live in rural NE so you really don't need millions for a big garden and the closest we have to a jet is the plastic one in the toy box.

Very long conversation with my 9 year old daughter earlier this week, that ended with her being distraught that she won’t be able to be an albino when she’s a teenager 😂

When I was little and had just started going to the loo on my own, my mother would always ask when I came out "Did you just wee or did you go properly?" So I thought that poo was called 'properly'. I was a child in the 1950s/60s before people picked up after their dogs, so if we were out and I saw some dogs mess on the pavement I used to warn "Mind the properly!"

@CounsellorTroi A related one, I thought that no one could live past 100 and if you lived until you were 100 you would drop dead on your 100th birthday.

Like there's a counter that can't go into three digits, the way the old pedometers couldn't go past 9999 😂

You poor child 😂

We used to live near a car showroom called Mike Westons. My son said have you been looking at cars in Your Westons.

If it was anything like the fire alarm system in our block of flats, this would be perfectly true!

When I was little I heard my dad talking about his pay, and wondered why he was being paid in celery.

Ds1, aged about 6, thought that the sizes in adult clothing referred to age, like children’s clothing. I was looking at the Evans catalogue, and he asked what I was looking at - I showed him a dress and read out the description - “…14, 16, 18, 22-24, 26-28, 30-32…” - and he said I couldn’t buy it because I was 35!

My sister told my grandmother (in a very serious whisper) that the neighbour had died. Then she pointed to the sky and said "he's gone to Devon."

No wonder she failed her A-levels.

😮😂

I thought my Nan was talking about a person when she was whispering to my mum about Sue Icide.. and Emily Moor.. (Emley Moor, the tv transmitter)

One of my sons didn't realise that Dancing Naurs were in fact dinosaurs.. we still use his words, as well as his brothers & sister's 'lemontape' (sellotape) 'popples' (apples) 'gaga' (dummy) and many, many more! ;-)

My 9 year old came home from school in a huff today because the teacher had laughed at her. Apparently he said (while they were reading) "can I have everyone looking up now?" and she immediately tilted her head up, eyeballed the ceiling and announced, "I can't see anything there!"

She's still in a mood about it. "Well, he should have just said 'look at me' if that's what he MEANT..."

My little brother was once sat in tears, my mum tried to comfort him and asked what was wrong and he said he was scared to die… because he couldn’t hold his breath for very long 😂😂😂

Apparently when I was about 3, my parents were discussing getting a pet rabbit. They were talking about different types, including a dwarf rabbit, when I burst into tears and could not be consoled. They finally got out of me between sobs that I didn’t want a dwarf, I wanted a rabbit.