Family wants to come and stay… only when we are not there

[coaplious]

AIBU to think this quite cheeky?

I have a younger cousin (18) who lives back in my home country. He has a girlfriend who I have never met.

I live in London and have just moved back here from the US.

At a family gathering recently, in front of all family, he asked me “Can you let me know when you’re going away- so I can come and stay in your flat”. And then later on said “I want to go to london with my girlfriend… so let me know when you are not there”

On one hand, I get it, he wants to come and visit London and not pay crazy hotel prices. But equally, it’s my home and not a shag pad for an 18 year old who doesn’t want to visit his family!

Just say no!

YANBU. A bit presumptive of your cousin as well!

He’s 18. He’ll cringe when you remind him at 40

Cheeky twat! I’d just decline to tell him when you’re not there

How did you reply?

Pretty standard to ask if you live somewhere appealing - however also standard to say no!

I would say no. He didn't even ask, just assumed he could use your home if you weren't there. It's cheeky and entitled. I'd be so annoyed with the attitude I wouldn't even invite him to stay whilst I was there.

🤣🤣🤣 CF!

Tell him he is being rude and you aren't an air b&b

Just say no. At 18 the brain is still developing and moreover I'm guessing he still lives at home? So will have no experience of being a responsible occupier. Never paid water and fuel bills. Never had to learn to always take his keys and always check all the doors and windows are locked. Never had to remove stains from sheets 🤐clean floors replace a £150 coffee table that WASN'T strong enough to shag on ....
No no no no no

You should have said "it’s my home and not a shag pad for an 18 year old who doesn’t want to visit his family!" in front of everyone when he put you on the spot.

On the other hand, do you really want to entertain him and his girlfriend? I'm a big fan of relatives visiting me when I'm not there (I also live in London).

No way would I leave my house unattended with a couple of 18 year olds I hardly knew

🤣🤣 the entitlement of youth! Be clear its a no, op!

Yes, it's rude, but he's 18 - pretty sure I made some social gaffes when I was his age. You can either avoid the subject or, if he keeps asking, just say 'sorry, I don't want anybody staying in my house when I'm not there'.

That is shocking 😂 do you think anyone else will have said to him how inappropriate it was, like his parents?!

I would be saying, oh well I was thinking of putting it on Airbnb whilst i was away. It would save me listing it. Let me check the market rate and what a standard deposit is....

A hard no.

Wow what did you say? I would've laughed in his face for that tbh!

Charge him hotel prices. In advance!

He will eat all your food, replace nothing and leave a mess and dirty sheets.

Never let him stay.

Just give a cheery "will do!" and never mention it again.

If he was wanting to visit you-even ostensibly that would be one thing.

But so rude to ask for explicitly when you aren't there!

Don't like you enough to want to see you but you're good enough to use!

I would have laughed very loudly when he asked and said, no! It doesn’t sound like you did and he thinks it’s actually going to happen!

What did you say??

'Sure you can, I'll send you a booking form where you can give me your card details etc.'

This is the answer