Please help me find the cheapest Premier Inn for 3 weeks - sanity depends on this

[viaprox]

Hi,

I have learned something shocking about my fiancé. It has totally made me question whether we should even get married in, almost exactly, a month.

I think it would be beneficial to take some time apart to evaluate things.

I'm shaking literally from the unknown (also have a bad/weird feeling I may be pregnant).

Please advise where I should decamp for a couple/3 weeks.

www.lsevacations.co.uk/Home.aspx?gclid=Cj0KCQjw_viWBhD8ARIsAH1mCd5abEyDftWOQd4xBK_EWDUODGcqJ1U_0I6wsVQLhFuDC6YvCPxRF1waAs3cEALw_wcB

Available until 17th September - cheaper than most hotels and much cleaner looking than cheap B&Bs in London.

I always manage to find something better value on booking.com

Please put in a Clare's law request asap

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha2/request-information-under-clares-law/

I know this isn't what you're asking, but do not tell him you think you're pregnant (if you haven't already) or if you test positive.

If you are pregnant you have choices to make that are yours to make alone. You need to make the choices without him pressuring you one way or the other. Also if you do continue, you have the option to disappearing and not naming him on birth certificate (if he is a monster, it might be better for him not to have that hold over you for the next 18 years)

Dear if you are hiding from him then you need to cancel this wedding.

Hi OP I am sorry you are going through this. As an idea, can I suggest googling local University Rooms? In and around London they are often available quite cheap until late September. These are secure (security on site just in case), but also have kitchen facilities which can be useful if you are going to be there medium term.

That's a brilliant idea, @RedCarsGoFaster

OP please do a Clare's Law application.
It would also be worth ringing Women's Aid for a chat.

You don't have to get married in a month or split up you know, you could always postpone. If you don't want to go into details, you could always tell people you've caught Covid really badly or similar if necessary. If he is a genuine person, how he responds to you saying you need a postponement will reassure you.

Don't use airbnb if you think he might have access to your account (eg guessable password) . And be careful if you think he might have access to your email/bank/credit card etc..

Please do get the facts.

Son works in PI. Says that prices change often and randomly. Cheapest he suggests is NE area. Does it have to be PI? What about a static caravan in a park? Small B&B or house share? Please leave x

Even if it isn’t true, the fact he hid it from you is concerning enough. It was inevitable it would come out one day.

You said he is gaslighting, that is abuse so I would think that what you discovered and he was arrested for is true.

As pp have suggested, get a pregnancy test, speak to GP, get all documents and valuables etc and get away from him. I’m not sure about hotel pricing compared to Air B&B, sorry.

Please look at the Women's Aid website.

A tent to tide you over?

Darlington city centre is available until at least Sunday and easy to reach by train from London. The cheapest Premier Inns tend to be the ones in the most obscure places - the one just off the A68 at Cramlington (north of Newcastle) is a bit cheaper but you'd need a car to get there and it's really at a motorway services.

How awful OP, sending you hugs.

I'd try a static caravan, though it's the holidays so likely to be £££.

Hope you are safe.

If he was arrested but not charged does that change anything?
Would Claire's Law cover this?
Sounds like you need space / time away from him- but support irl aswell

Derby city centre also coming up quite cheap compared to others.
You've got to think where the tourists are least likely to be! So rule out Edinburgh as the festivals are about to kick off and also Birmingham as the Commonwealth Games starts later this week.
Also check lastminute.com they tend to get cheaper the closer to your booking date and the "secret hotels" can be good value if you can work out which hotel it's for (you usually can as the same hotel will be also be advertised on their site!).

You can get an IBIS in Manchester for £400 for a week, but is that REALLY what you want?

As an alternative plan, could you grab passport, birth certificate, etc from your current home and go to stay with a trusted friend or family member? Tell them that you’re worried about something but not ready to discuss it yet, then spend a few days making calls to police, womens aid etc to find out the truth. Then open up to friend when you’re ready.

I would secind University accomodation, all the Unversities in my city rent out student apartments over the summer while the students are gone.
They are usually safe- lots of CCTV, door locks with fobs etc. You will also have the use of a kitchen and lounge/tv area which you wouldn't in a hotel.

Travelodge Derby Cricket Ground £59 a night this week until Sunday.

I want to keep up the appearance that we are perfect for whatever reason...cannot talk myself out of this

I can understand this entirely. It can be utterly overwhelming when people get involved. It can cloud your thinking.
Give yourself permission to go to your own private, inner Skellig Michael and process, process, process... then you'll be ready to talk... to one person, then two. Just do it at your own pace.
But whatever you do, get your answers! Find out who he is and what he's done.

Then go for PI or similar as it is not just a single residential property and therefore less chance of any doorstep altercations?

Well Derby was cheapest I could find for next 10 days but agree there will be better options.

Feeling you need to run away in this way isn't a sign you should get married. Please don't do anything for the sake of saving face. Embarrassment will pass. Marrying the wrong and potentially dangerous person will not

Your gut is obviously telling you the 'news' could well be true.

Cancel the wedding.

Get a pregnancy test.

Get some family/friend support around you.

Make your own decision if you're pregnant. Think long and hard about going through with a pregnancy that will tie you to this man for the rest of your life.

Leicester £39 a night https://uk.hotels.com/ho621002592/showcase-apartments-kimberley-house-leicester-united-kingdom/?chkin=2022-07-25&chkout=2022-08-12&xpwa=1&rfrr=HSR&pwaats=1658757256817&referrerUrl=aHR0cHM6Ly91ay5ob3RlbHMuY29tL0hvdGVsLVNlYXJjaA%3D%3D&useRewards=false&rm1=a1&regionId=6704&destination=Coventry%2C+England%2C+United+Kingdom&destType=MARKET&sort=PRICELOWWTOHIGH&toppdp=698&topcur=GBP&semdtl=&userIntent=&selectedRoomType=202107944&selectedRatePlan=212086598&expediaPropertyId=19375081