To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

we have a random silent farter among us

As in silent but deadly - so funny

If you have Prime then James May's new Italy travelog is very good...red wine and some pizza to have while watching

Just had a game of Rummikub. BIL won. The pressure to take your turn quickly was sweat inducing. He took forever.

I know this is my fault. Not being with them for so long made me forget how awful get togethers are.

I've suggested the dog needs it's glands squeezing. Not my dog, thankfully. SIL looked aghast. I suspect she would gladly squeeze BILs though.

We're in the Peak District, for those that asked. Still raining.

Plan to take DD to Trafford Centre (one in Manchester) shopping as an apology. I'll buy her pizza as an Italian fix.

Wine is the answer. Pat yourself on the back that you have done this type of holiday then resolve never to do it again. Spend time with DD making plans for your next holiday, to Italy, with her and DH.

God NO! don't take DH, he might be the phantom farter! 😂

OP you would be so jealous of my in-laws. We used to go to France with them for 2 weeks every year when our youngest was 9-15. Mil used to insist on getting up early with DS so we could have lie in. She cooked breakfast for us all. On beach fil would take DS crabbing for hours. They offered to babysit at least 3 nights each week and spent hours playing board games with DS who likes them. Most times we ate dinner out and in-laws insisted on paying more than half the time. At end of 2 weeks in-laws kept DS at their house also by beach for a week.of spoiling whilst DH an DC I had a romantic holiday on our own. No secret farters or dog with worms. Mil insisted on hanging out washing too. I feel your pain.

This has made me laugh OP, sorry for your pain! I thought my extended family had issues! 😂

I live on the edge of the Peak District it's been truly awful weather here today. I think Manchester sounds like a very good call.

And yourself Prosecco I hope

We drove through the Peak District today yep bloody awful in the rain.

I’m in a caravan in Whitby, it’s pissing down, I’ve got the start of a migraine, head in a vice, can’t stop yawning, a pre cursor to a full blown attack, feel shivery and achy. Supposed to be here for two nights. Going home tomorrow.aDH suggested we stay for three nights. He got the look. The look that curdles milk and stops hens laying.

Cant believe you haven't conspired with your DD to come down with a terrible upset stomach or something so that you need to leave immediately for fear of infecting everyone. Or doctor a lateral flow test.

This. Where are you? Go do something fun!

Thank you for the perspective just DH and the kids away - it has rained all day, kids have been horrible to each other all day. I've threatened to pack up and go home three times.

Happy holidays

I forgot to mention that the holiday cottage smells like wee.

I'm in rural east Anglia where we desperately need rain. I've never seen England so yellow & brown. I'm battling against everything wilting. I would love some rain. Actually lots of rain would be fantastic.

Sympathies on the rest!!

I haven't RTWT, but I hope at least one person has told OP how lucky she is to be having a holiday at all, and family members to share it with. And a dog. And meals.

Your DD is right. Your DH owes you a trip to Italy after this fiasco.

Brilliant OP 🤣🤣🤣
We've had a few of those

This is so funny . I’ve just had a really shit day at a family gathering and this cheered me up no end ! 😂
I agree with “ take your daughter shopping and for lunch “

Peak District isn’t North of England, is it the Midlands ?
Cant say I’ve seen staff shortages in the actual North.

You could never have persuaded me to go on holidays with in laws, or my own family. Teenagers are bad enough as a rule

Dog might be constipated - give veg, ideally pumpkin. Also, could you take DD away for a few hours to do something you both might like? Otherwise - Gin.

OP, my husband is in Manchester for work for the next few days and has just sent me a photo of the most gorgeous looking pizza from a place called Rudy's. He said it was amazing! You and your daughter deserve this 😂🍕

Forgot the pic!

Genius plan - feed dog lots of veg and then scarper off to the shop, cinema and pizza for the day