to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

I'm in Scotland I've never been to a wedding that early.

3pm is normal here.

Is it a English thing..??

Don’t blame the wedding, blame the hosts for not throwing a wedding they can afford in being able to feed their guests. It’s an overpriced industry, of course, but that’s a whole other discussion.

Honestly hate that attitude and see it all too often.

Guests are invited to, essentially, a party. As with most parties, the party hosts state what they are providing. If you don't want to pay for a drink all day but they aren't providing free drinks, then just don't go and don't bitch and moan that you've had to pay. It's so entitled to expect them to bend over backwards to cater to your every possibly desire on the day. No one is forced to go.

@TooTightFit

fun sponge

How much per canape?? For something basically an inch square that probably costs about 20p to make? Strewth.

This is why I had my ceremony at 3.30pm. People had lunch and a drink before the wedding. There was no waiting around, photos didn’t take long and everyone was sat down for the ‘wedding breakfast’ at 5.30pm if I remember. There was canapés and drinks before the sit down meal and importantly plenty of space for guests to mill about or sit down. The buffet was served at 8. Guest comfort should be one of the most important things to consider for a wedding. People are spending money and time to celebrate your wedding day with you so it’s important they are comfortable.

I find weddings very dull. Unless a decent sized group of my friends are there. My own wedding was nice but not the best night out of my life or anything. Mixing all the friendship groups and family never equals a great party IMO.

I did take into account my guests comfort and there was no waiting around/hungry periods etc.

My cousins wedding went as follows:
Breakfast - 8am as had to go to hairdresser/make up + 2 hr drive
Wedding - 12pm
Arrive at venue 2pm - wedding venue not hotel so no bar food available
Glass of bucks fizz, no canapes and 50 million boring fucking photos
Food 6pm
Evening buffet 8pm went completely untouched

The atmosphere was bloody awful, everyone was grumpy and hungry. Loads went home immediately after the food. Bride narkily posted on FB the next day saying how much they'd spent on the evening do etc and some brave soul had the balls to say "we've never been so hungry in our lives, and felt ill by the time we ate, that's why we left". Post had over 100 likes, mostly from fellow guests!!!

AS the OP refers to English weddings, just out of interest, how do weddings usually work in other parts of the UK? I think I've only been to one in Wales and it was, as far as a I remember, the same as all the ones I've attended in England. Went to one in Germany which was largely similar as well.

I recently went to one in England where we got a generous portion of canapes :)

Honestly on mumsnet everyone hates weddings!

there’s also a bit of a competitive element too - who can be a martyr the most and sacrifice what they want as bride and groom the most for the guests comforts. So you MUST plough most of your budget into endless food for your guests, sod flowers or getting your makeup professionally done - it’s all about the fooooooood!

We went to a wedding where the ceremony was at midday. Then we went to the reception venue where we all just had to sit in a bar til about 4.30 when we were finally let into the room where the evening do was being held. Then it was another 30-45 mins before the hot buffet was finally opened. The only thing to eat before that was a packet of crisp of you wanted to buy one from the bar. Nowhere near by to get anything and no info as to when the do would actually start and food provided so couldn't really go off and get something. And there wasn't a ton of food on the buffet either and there was nothing else later. Though we left at 8 and got food on the way home.

I’m Scottish and like a pp poster have never been to a morning wedding or been left hungry at one, maybe I’ve been lucky.
I believe the term wedding breakfast comes from a time when you were only permitted to be get married before midday.

This is my thread! Fucking hate weddings, the only two which weren't totally shit were my own, and one of my best friends who I helped organise.
There's rarely enough food or drink, or drinks are ridiculously overpriced, or anything to do while the photos are being taken, they are boring AF, never enough seating, everything is late...
Embarrassingly one I went to ran so late as they couldn't get their pizza ovens started and then they didn't have enough individual (tiny child size) pizzas for everyone, no other food at all and they forgot to serve the cake. There was nothing else in the vicinity for miles. Awful.

And those saying that people should eat lunch before the ceremony, if it's any time before 3pm it's not exactly feasible when you factor in time to get ready and travel to the wedding

Yep. Wedding days are still arranged as if people don’t have evening receptions, which they have since the 70s. Not that that’s an excuse for 1 canapé. I think a lot of people never organise events are so are clueless about how to look after guests, although it’s easy enough to figure out so that’s being kind - but I think it explains why higher end (ie posh-ish people’s) weddings are much better IMP

Personally I think the amount of money spent on weddings and fulfilling the expectations of a whole bunch of people who you may barely know but have turned up just so they can judge you as inadequate is what is s**t. It's a single day, for half the people being married It's a single day on the way to divorce, and there are many better things to spend money on.

If you are simply going to weddings that you don't like to complain about what people have or haven't paid for or timed to your satisfaction, perhaps not going to weddings would be the best way forward?

The weddings I’ve been to in Scotland are usually later… I wish more were.

While it is the bride and groom's day, they should consider their guests.

A little while back someone on this site told me 'why would they give you lunch, you would have already eaten'. I was like, at 1pm with a 1.5 hour travel time, I have not eaten lunch.

The last wedding I went to was abroad but they certainly didn’t stint on the food. The ceremony was in a chapel at a university at, I think, 3:30. By about 5 we were at the reception venue which in a period building also on the campus where there were drinks and substantial canapés (bruschetta, lamb cutlets, mini chicken kebabs etc). Then we went in to a four course meal, all large portions. I couldn’t finish the last couple of courses!

Best wedding I ever went to was in N Ireland. Ceremony at 11.30, back to hotel by 1.00 where drinks and (lots of) canapés were served immediately. The meal was served at 2.00 and was finished by 5.00. The evening do started at 7.00 and a cold buffet was served at 8.30. Nobody was hungry, there was no hanging about bored out of our minds for photographs which were done between the meal and the evening do. It was perfect.

Last wedding I went to was between lockdowns, I think it ended up 24 people instead of the original plan of over 100.
It was excellent, wedding about 12 noon, canapes and bloody good ones straight after. Wedding photos and mingling til 4pm then dinner and speeches.
Then home about 6pm. No party cos covid. I was really happy with it apart from the mingling. But I'm not a mingling type, I hate small talk and my DPs ex wife was there so all kinds of awkward.

Unfortunately I have another wedding to attend soon which i suspect wont be nearly as excellent going by the engagement party.

I know if I ever bother again, I'm having the smallest venue, fewest guests, simplest actual wedding, but fabulous food and lots of it. I've always wanted to run away to gretna green and ask complete strangers to witness, but I'm not sure now after the brilliant wedding.

scottish folk are the only people who know how to throw a wedding!

Always this in Ireland , this is every wedding Ive ever been to 😁 somtimes we even stay on a few extra days just for the craic .
The first English wedding I went to I found totaly bizzare . Some people even went back to there hotels for food/ nap the day was sooo long and disjointed , Then after all that it ended at 11 !

It's called a wedding breakfast because it's the first meal since the couple married. Doesn't matter if its at 6pm, it's the correct term.

That aside, those timings are indeed terrible. First rule of any party: keep your guests well fed and watered. They can cope with almost anything else but they mustn't be hungry or thirsty.

Agreed although one recent wedding thread, I was accused of being rude for having evening guests. At least my day guests weren’t hungry!