to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

All this talk of ‘just don’t go if you don’t like the arrangements’ is just odd.

Nobody’s going to turn down an invitation to somebody’s wedding (presumably a family member, or someone they, you know, like) just because the timetable of events isn’t to their liking.

It’s a valid question from the OP. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why make people wait around, hungry and probably quite bored?

Our wedding (not in the UK) was at 3pm, so people had lunch beforehand. And we were generous with canapés. And put a free bar on.

Making sure your guests have a good time is kind of key. Having the wedding YOUR way and screw your guests is just clueless.

Our wedding was all about food! And never enough in my opinion!
Ceremony 1pm, canapes and drinks 1.30pm. Hog roast 3pm, cake cut 7pm (both cake and cheese tiers) pizza van cooking from 7.15pm end of evening 10pm! Basket of food for toddlers and kids full of treats snacks and food for them and love heart sweets and lollies on every table!

Sounds like your friend's weddings are shit, rather than those of a whole nation? I've been to a lot of English weddings and I think the very earliest start has been 1pm. Never recall being left 'starving' at any stage either.

On the other hand I recently went to a wedding abroad where they presented us with such an enormous volume of constant food that the options were either a) flat out decline it and feel rude sitting at the table with an empty place setting or b) stuff yourself to the point of feeling utterly sick.

On balance I'd rather be a bit peckish by the time dinner is served.

At our wedding I put a lot of thought into the guest's comfort, I didn't want anyone to be hungry or hanging about for too long, bored, cold etc, as I'd been to so many shit weddings. That did mean we spent some extra money on the day but to me it was worth it. I understand not everyone is in a position to do that however. Worst wedding I went to was in a marquee in December, there were no canapés and so we were freezing and starving by the time we had the wedding breakfast. People actually left the wedding to buy food from a nearby cafe

Problem is the drinks start flowing as soon as the I do’s are done which can be a good 1 or 2 hours before any type of food comes along. We recently went to a wedding starting 2pm but needed to be there by 12ish wedding party. Before 12 involved the last minute fetching and perfecting. Needing hair done etc meant we last ate maybe 8am food at home which on a weekend isn’t when we eat at all. Then meals came many of which where actually the wrong starter or main or pudding required sending back and waiting By the time the evening fast food came most people where completely gone with the wind there but not there and the food was taken away within 30 minutes of even coming out. Even the best man was gone pissed as a fart by 10pm.

This wasn’t a cheap wedding either that was hiring an entire listed hotel and grounds for many ££ with an overnight stay but even the breakfast the next morning was very mediocre.

@Maireas ceremony finished 2.45, we provided transport to reception venue, they arrived there at about 3.10, then we all had champagne and chatted.

As the ceremony was at 2 I assumed adults would have had their own lunch beforehand, therefore hog roast started at 5.

Why, do you think a 3 hour slot between meals should have involved food?

This is a joke isn't it?

Now, that sounds like a proper do!

It's why we got married at 3pm. It allowed people to travel without having to pay for a two night stay, and it allowed people to have lunch beforehand.

There is a thread on here where the OP is asking whether to have her wedding at 1pm or 3pm. The majority of posters have suggested 3pm. The votes for 1 pm I think were from people seeing it from the bride's POV rather than as a guest.

If you eat breakfast before you go, you shouldn't be that hungry. I've never felt hungry at a wedding

Most normal, fit and healthy people would be feeling pretty hungry by 4pm even after a substantial cooked breakfast.

Agree OP which is why I fed my guests at the church (tea, coffee and squash and ‘party food’- sausages on sticks, kids party tea food etc and it meant people just coming to the service could hang around and talk to each other/us); at the reception venue (canapés, and plenty of them); dinner and then hog roast in the evening.

Nobody going hungry on my watch and you can’t expect kids to put up with being hungry let alone adults.

Most weddings are a chore . Apart from your own . Hate them

Don't go to the next one then if you can't cope without food for a few hours.

Weddings don't have to be like this. Mine wasn't.

I've been a bridesmaid at 2 weddings where we were expected to arrive at 7am for hair and make up urgh, it's a very long day even if it's a great day, especially if you haven't slept well the night before

Sounds very thoughtfully planned.

This thread is generating the usual mn tropes
breakfast and Dinner in one day. Christ no wonder we are an obese nation eating like that. Pigs

we ate a gargantuan breakfast, lunch, snacks in the car and a buffet and were still flipping starving..so had to go for a McDonald’s on way home

I want a free bar, not a drink on arrival

Thats just a badly planned wedding. My family goes all in on the food. Usually wedding doesn't start until 11am so you've had breakfast, then we had huge afternoon tea trays of pastries at 1 with cocktails and avo toasts and prawns and fried things on sticks omg.

Three course meal at 4pm. Cheese at 5.30, cake at 7, sausage sandwiches at 9 and then chips at midnight.

Food is important at weddings - it's best to plumb money into that.

Most weddings are a chore. Apart from your own . Hate them

Most weddings aren't a chore IME. I love a wedding.
Why do you hate tthem so muuch @Bednobsbroomsticks?

Best food wedding I've been to, breakfast usual time, ceremony at 11-12 while the bridal party were doing photos there was a gelato truck, a reggae band and the biggest cheese table I've ever seen, it was like a cheese banquet, so many different chutneys, figs, grapes about thirty types of cheese, ports and a cheese man (probs not his actual job title) to recommend different combinations, canapes also circulated alongside champagne and Pimm's. Meal was served around 5, three courses, beautiful food. Then in the evening a huge hot buffet, a roasted suckling pig an all accompaniments. I've never eaten so much in my life.

Yeah, I agree OP.

Was wondering how many posts it would take before you got the faux concern about obesity, greed and the like.

Can't be bothered to read the full thread but the general consensus is that photographs need to be finished before you start eating and drinking and they can take a while. Imagine how much worse it would be if the photographer was trying to marshall and gather up pissed guests for the photos.

It's not as simple as just not going.

I was really excited to get invited to a wedding recently. DH, me and 3 DC all invited and sounded great. We had a large continental breakfast at 9 as had to set of to travel at 10.

Ceremony started at 11. We were then told to head to the reception venue (10 mins away).
No food was served until 4pm as bride and groom pissed off for 2 hours having photos done without telling anybody.
In theory we could have left to get food but everybody spent that 2 hours expecting the bride and groom to arrive at any moment.

I have no problem with the timings of anybodys wedding day, but please just tell your guests so they can prepare.

Wow! That sounds fantastic! Also, quite different.

I've been to loads. Some better organised than others, but none of them a chore. It's not a chore to see people we love make a commitment to each other and celebrate that, but if it's a chore to you then just don't go.

So many people don’t think about their guests enough with weddings.

The weddings you describe sound shit and tbh most of the ones I’ve been to have been similar.

I think it’s also partly the fault of supposed wedding coordinators at these venues who just pile nonsense in and a million posed photos.

My photos took 20 mins.