to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

I think that photo situation is increasingly common, and often very prolonged. 2 hours, though!

TBH, every wedding I am invited to, I do a massive eye roll. They are a pain. Hotel stays, travel, new outfits, presents and you have to hang out with extended family that you can't stand.

Yes, of course I can decline, and I have done.

Completely agreed. I've been to a wedding which was at 1pm, canapes/snacks (very few!) At 3pm and then dinner and 7pm. There was nearly a fight over bread rolls on one of the tables.

All the other recent weddings I've been to we've had to nip out to get some food. It's absolutely ridiculous making people sit around hungry and bored, as a hosting couple you should want your guests to have fun and be well catered for.

We had a wedding at midday, hot buffet lunch at 1.30pm and hog roast at 8pm.

In a way this is what puts me off having a bigger wedding. Even if we 'think of the guests' as much as possible, put on plenty of food etc. It still won't be good enough for some, some people will still find things to moan about behind your back

Isn’t it a wedding breakfast
because you’re breaking the fast that started when you got married
as in its the first meal as husband and wife
as opposed to the first meal of the day.

but yeah they are typically shit

got married this year and most guests stayed in the same hotel.

so we had breakfast 8-10, whenever they chose.

ceremony was 1.30pm, a 15 min drive away. Hotel offered room service and we advised everyone to have lunch/snacks.

back to hotel for 3.15pm, canapes, 5 each.

wedding breakfast, 3 courses 4.30

evening buffet and cake 9pm.

we had been to SO many weddings with a 15 min ceremony at 1pm and then no food until 4pm, just WHY? I do think the 11am ceremonies you’ve been invited to are a bit odd- even hanging round from 1.30-4 is bad enough!

because we had a church ceremony (longer) a short drive away it took up plenty of time and many people complimented us on how fast the day passed and were the right amount of tipsy for the dancing so i think we got it right!

This is such a typical MN post. MN HATES weddings 😂 whereas in the real world, everyone I know LOVES a wedding. Incidentally, our wedding was fabulous !! Loads of beautiful food for everyone available at all times, canapés, champagne and cocktails on arrival, free drinks all day and night, we got married outside in the most stunning surroundings (lakes and mountains), everyone smiling, happy enjoying themselves, up and dancing, just wonderful 😊

The wedding we went to was serving drinks before the signing was finished. Prosecco, beer, larger, cider, buck fizz, pimms. People where half cut before the dinner.

I think if you're on a budget, just do it modestly, it's not a problem. I've been to a couple that were ceremony and meal, that was it. A nice sit down meal, not fancy, but pleasant. They were honestly the best weddings!

My photos took 20 mins.

Yes. Why do photos have to take 2 hours? I bet they didn't take this long before social media. We had a few outside the church and a few at the reception. Job done.

Luckily, I like my extended family @TooTightFit and don't see them often enough.

So if you were in a hotel could you not have bought some crisps from the bar or ordered a sandwich ?
I wanted a cup of tea at my own wedding, in the afternoon break while they moved the room round, so I ordered one. It’s not difficult.

Breakfast means to break your fast so I can only assume it’s called the wedding breakfast because some mad tradition means starving your guests all day before they finally get served a main meal.

You sound fun eye roll

I agree OP. You can plan the best/ most exciting wedding, but if you leave people bored and hungry for hours in the middle that's all they will remember.

Thanks, that's reassuring to hear. I hope my friends won't say behind my back that it was crap but I guess they aren't real friends if they do

Whatin the name of God,, is a wedding breakfast? Who made this shite up now? Whatever happened to turning up at the church then dinner after followed by a hooley on the dance floor after (no buffet included.)

I used to be a wedding manager and I've never come across a wedding quite that bad in terms of timings.

Typically ceremony is 30 mins (non-religious), followed by 90 minute drinks receptions/canapes, followed by call to sit, followed by speeches (allow 20-30 mins) followed by wedding breakfast.

I mean if ceremony is 11am then food service would typically be 1.30pm. Evening meal/buffet would be between 8-8.30.

I had a 3pm ceremony and we served food at 5 then hot snacks at 10.

I do think that wedding guests do need to engage their brain though. 9/10 you have an order of service in advance so you can plan your meals around expected food service times. If you have a hotel breakfast at 8ish and the ceremony isn't until 11 with food service around 4, surely you'd be away if this so eat just before leaving, even if it was a light bite?

If you're staying in the hotel where ceremony and reception are happening, surely you could pop back up to the room and grab a snack during the drinks reception.

Our tiny wedding in a couple of weeks is 11.30 ceremony, quick few pics in the gardens, lunch at 1, back to ours for a few hours and then off for supper around 7, taxis from there to their hotels! 👍🏼

It’s a wedding breakfast because it’s the first meal a married couple

Yes you're right. But some people seem to think they shouldn't be paying a penny for anything on the day

Mn really moan about weddings and makes it all so convoluted.In real life it’s not so complicated

every bride on mn swears their wedding was the best

every guest on mn complains about the weddings they attend

My brothers wedding breakfast
jacket potatoes-no toppings,nowhere to sit and eat them,no plate or forks and about enough potatoes for about 30 people
at a 150 guest wedding
i ended up running over to sainsburys just to get sandwiches for the kids and after the b&g both said that they thought it had gone well and the guests had enjoyed it with enough to eat

i hate weddings

I agree @Zone2NorthLondon. The only wedding I remember negatively is a winter wedding where the reception venue wasn't heated. We all kept our coats on and left as early as we politely could because we were frozen.

It's called a wedding breakfast from the days when most marriages were in church and holy communion formed part of the service (as it did at mine). You have to fast before receiving communion, though these days it's a nominal hour. So the meal after fasting breaks the fast, hence breakfast.

@RewildingAmbridge

that amount of food is excessive and unnecessary

most people don’t want to feel stuffed and like they’ve over eaten at a wedding. They don’t want to be bloated in their nice clothes and they want to be able to dance etc