to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

We take a break from the forced mingling at weddings. Sit in the car and eat some snacks or if in the hotel go to room or go home if close to home.

One wedding I was at was beautiful-an absolute pinterest wedding but freezing, the drinks reception section/photos lasted 4 hours and all that was served was oysters and their signature cocktail. It was in a field about 40 minutes from a shop, 10 mins walk to car park through a field in heels so no chance to nip away.

To contrast that the last wedding I went to there was a crisp wall, sweetie table, ice cream man and constant canapés and the mingling section was 1.5 hours.

The first one was more wedding mag appropriate but the second had really thought about their guests.

Sounds like you've just been to shit weddings rather than all English weddings being shit.

The only wedding I've been to with crappy timings like you describe was actually a Scottish wedding. Ceremony at 11 but food at 4. Canapes in between but nothing for me as coeliac. Then when we finally sat down to eat they made us listen to speeches first!

Last wedding I attended was 2pm ceremony, followed immediately by canapes and champagne. Meal at 3.30, more food at 9. That seems fairly typical for the ones I've been to.

My wedding was nothing like this.

Ceremony at 2, huge hog roast/ribs/bbq at 5, cheeseboards and olive buffet at 10. Free booze for the duration.

I think things would be better if people just had a ceremony followed by a meal. Simple. No "evening do" which is pointless really. That way you'd focus the budget on the one meal and it would be more satisfying all round.

It is weird when you think about it. We kind of did this by accident - had a little wedding (under 30 people) and we did have a gap, because we were catering ourselves (broke.) But no-one had come that far - it was in a lovely little town most people knew well and we made a list of cafes and places to get lunch. I do feel kind of bad in retrospect we did it this way but we couldn't get into the reception venue (local hostel) and finish up the food till afternoon. But people know us and our limited budget and organisation skills and that the whole thing was very DIY and were all super nice about it. Lots of them have voluntarily said to me over the years what a good time they had so they must have forgiven us (despite the fact my family do get very hangry!)

What did people do between the ceremony and the hog roast?

10 canapés each, fainting from hunger after eating a most likely substantial hotel breakfast (it’s not just a slice of toast). Wow, it’s no wonder we’re so obese as a nation. There are some weddings which are long and timings not thought through but packing sandwiches because you won’t eat for 3/4 hours is very dramatic and I’m overweight myself.

I agree, it's rude to leave guests so hungry.
I chose a late ceremony with dinner straight after to avoid this, I hate being hungry and bored at weddings!

But if you eat a cooked breakfast at 8.30 you should be able to last until 4

Er, no, I wouldn't, I'd be very hungry and extremely bad tempered by 4.

@Maireas

why do you think the evening do is pointless?!

this is when you might have some entertainment like a band or singer or sometime, it’s about having a party, a dance whatever, it’s fun!

@Purplepatsy

a cooked breakfast would last a lot of people through

it’s a high cal dense meal

@Maireas

drink and mingle I would expect

sounds good to me!

Each to their own, but I don't go if that's all I'm invited to. I've got dressed up, bought a gift only to be given a piece of garlic bread, some salad, a pay bar and nowhere to sit down. You want to invite folks? Do it properly.

I'm guessing that is when all the photos get taken as well.

@Maireas

i like going to wedding receptions. Lots of people do.

Most people can handle the fact that most bride and grooms can’t afford to cater for everyone as day guests but would still like them to come and be part of the day. I have no issue with it. I don’t expect the same treatment as say family or best mates.

@Maireas

Yep, bride and groom go off for photos whislt
everuone drinks and chats and relaxes - sounds great!

I dislike weddings for this; lots of alcohol and randomly timed food plus far too long socialising often with people you don’t know well. Even family weddings I just feel tired out from talking for hours plus food is rarely that good.

I hope my wedding was well catered for, I certainly didn't feel hungry. Although I've never actually been to a wedding where I've had discussions with relative strangers about how hungry we are.

However I always expect to eat around 3pm at a wedding so would make sure to have either a biggish breakfast or snack just before ceremony. A cooked breakfast easily sees me through to late afternoon and I'm not a mumsnet sparrow

I went to one that was a tea dance - we got two sandwiches, a piece of cake and a cup of tea. They brought round one glass of wine for the toasts.
I think it was because they'd invited a large number of people and didn't really have the budget.

I wouldn't last 7.5 hours no matter how much breakfast I'd eaten. In hotels I don't tend to eat the whole cooked breakfast even though it's on offer.
I agree that a lot of weddings are badly planned from a catering point of view.

Fine. I just don't think you should invite people if you can't even provide a drink or a modest buffet.

I think when people go away from the traditional hotel meal they often struggle to fill the time and feed a large number of people well.

Imo, queuing at a food van or beside a hog roast in your nicest outfit, then trying to juggle the food and find somewhere to sit in a barn is not enjoyable!

They drag on forever. I’d rather just go to the evening do. Ideally it would be ceremony at 6.30pm, drinks at 7pm, dinner at 7.30pm (and not some 7 course crapolafest with iced grapes and all that shite that goes on forever), dancing from 9pm. Alternatively, just a lunch - ceremony at 12pm, drinks at 1pm, lunch at 1.30pm, some background music and a chat and them home by 4.30pm. The whole thing is so overdone and tedious these days. My own wedding was tedious and dragged on forever.

in what world is ONE canapé £4-5 each?