to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

I had no idea weddings were so disliked, until I joined mumsnet.

I LOVE weddings, everything about them.

Don't get people banging on about the 'boring' photos bit either - if you're with your partner and/or other people you know, treat it as if you were going for a drink and chat with them as you would. Why do you need to be entertained? Odd.

Never experienced food issues.

It was wonderful for sure, and a great atmosphere, very relaxed.

Oh and did I mention that it was a Three Day Event? Someone said that to me and I thought they were having the equivalent of the Badminton Horse trials or something. No, wedding on day 1, BBQ on day 2, brunch with everyone left standing on day 3, and home to bed. What a great few days it was. The invitation was open to those who just wanted to go to the wedding day, or + BBQ or all three days, no pressure. Everyone was just so full of fun. The Irish really know how to enjoy themselves!

It’s a mn perennial to hate weddings and have an associated drama regard invites,seating, other guests.
No one just goes,has a jolly time,and comes home

I put YABU as surely that applies to Welsh/Scottish weddings as well? Do they suddenly change once you cross the Severn bridge?

I even like a gift list!

This is more or less what happens at Greek weddings to be fair. So not a joke in my family or friendship group. Only difference is there would be crisps/nuts & Greek pastries as opposed to canapés 🤷🏻‍♀️

People try and draw out the day too long. 11 is really just too early for a traditional wedding. If you want a wedding breakfast, a bit of mingling and a disco and buffet you need the ceremony at more like 2pm. Part of the problem is that the photos seem to take hours after the ceremony whilst the guests stand round bored and hungry.

I knew it was an Irish wedding especially the singing till 4am part.

As an English person, there’s nothing better than an Irish wedding.
Million percent better! 🤣

Generalisation much! Can you confirm please how Scottish weddings and Welsh weddings differ from these “English” weddings you speak of.

last wedding I went to was fucking amazing. Church at 2:00 in village. We drove there from home 1.5 hours away, checked in at out hotel and got a meal deal from M&S at the service station beforehand. After ceremony we went straight to the stately home (a mile away) where the reception was and free unlimited booze started being served, canapés and Prosecco whilst photographs were being taken, then into the marquee where the wedding breakfast was, again free bar, lovely food, good company as the tables had been organised well, after the speeches live band whilst the tables were moved around for dancing, still a free bar, and around 9pm there were food stands such as pizza and kebabs with fireworks to finish off with.

Not a tummy rumble or a penny spent all day.

Taxi numbers had been provided with invite and were advance booked, so back at hotel in 15 minutes.

it was organised like a dream and the whole day went in a flash.

for me it comes down to excellent organisation and money for a great wedding experience.

that said, we went to a National Trust barn wedding, which was done on a budget where you bought your own drinks and that was just as beautiful a location, less opulent but just as well organised and smoothly run.

Rather than complain about English people’s wedding, just make sure your own is perfect then no one can bitch about it.

Also I’d take issue with the venue if the bride and groom paid for canapés and some guests only got one. I think the problem is that the bride and groom are probably away having photos taken and the venue cut corners

Difficult to know how to vote as YANBU to think the 3 weddings you went to were planned without thinking of the comfort of guests

But
YABU to then translate that to "English weddings are frequently shit"
as that really isn't my experience.
I've been to dozens upon dozens upon dozens of weddings and can only think of one that would fall into your type of description.

That's not "English weddings", that's fancy hotel weddings. I've been to some fab weddings and some shit ones, and the shit ones are always in a hotel!

Reminds me of SIL wedding. They got married at 1:30 but then disappeared for over an hour on their own for photos. No food on offer.
Buffet lunch where we were the last table to go up so hardly any food left and it was nearly 4:30. Kids were starving and so were we.
They had a hog roast in the evening at 7 but again not enough to go round. We got fish and chips on the way home.
Our own wedding was at 1:30, very short ceremony (non religious) and we were all eating by 2:30.

US weddings are super short and tend to be hosted over one meal time, so either a brunch wedding that’s 9-2pm, lunchtime 11-4pm or evening 5-9pm. They still, however, cost as much as UK full day affairs. I get why people want their money’s worth.

I think the common denominator for general shitness is the couple disappearing for a 2hr photoshoot leaving guests hanging around.

Wedding breakfast means first meal after you get married, it's tradition to call it a wedding breakfast nothing to do with the time of day!

We have been to quite a few weddings where we starved, for our own wedding we made sure lots of food was provided, none of this hours without food, it was a constant stream of food which people loved. We always pack snacks when we go to a wedding, you shouldn't have to but better to be safe. We usually buy sandwiches on the way too and eat them right before, lessons learnt from many hungry long weddings!

It doesn't have to be like this. Our wedding went:

10.45 Guests arrive at chrurch
11.00 Wedding ceremony
11.45 Photographs in adjacent gardens
12.45 Walk to hotel reception venue (5 minute walk)
13.00 Champagne reception at hotel (no canapés!)
13.30 Lunch served (3 courses)
15.00 Speeches, wedding cake etc
16.30 Finish, people went on to the hotel bar, local pubs or back home.

@Maireas

whats so bad about that? Presumably you have your partner there with you? Other people you know. Or people who you will have stuff in common with. Why do you need the bride and groom there? Also unless you’re immediate family or v close or something you’re unlikely to actually see much of the bride and groom anyway even if they’re not away having photos

I've never been hungry at a wedding - most I've been to don't start until 2pm or 3pm and we'd eaten lunch first. Then dinner at 6ish, often with a few canapés with drinks first.

If you want a good do join a church . My cousin met his bride to be at a glory Hallelujah type church. They didn’t have a pot to pee in when they got married but the amazing church members provided mountains of food and drink in the afternoon and evening. Other church members provided entertainment in the evening and it was honestly one of the best weddings I have ever been to .

All weddings are shit, just like christenings and family parties.

Most of us go because we feel obliged to, just wear a smile and drink the free booze.

The term wedding breakfast dates back to the 17th century when wedding ceremonies were usually part of Eucharistic Mass and so newlyweds would have been fasting ahead of the service. The meal they shared afterwards was literally breaking the fast.

I really don’t like weddings anyway but I remember always being hungry while they faff about for hours doing the wedding photos. Out of curiosity which nationalities do the best weddings regarding timings of food?

@LuckySantangelo35 - it just delays everything unnecessarily. They're the hosts aren't they? Photos, fine.
2 hours? A bit much.

I didn't realise you had to rate weddings on the food offerings (or lack off). That said I've been to lots of weddings and don't remember starving to death at any of them or having to arrive at any at 11am either.
My one tiny complaint might have been having a glass of Pimms thrust in my hand at one and I hate the stuff, but there was nothing else. But I made a trip to the bar...
We got married at 4pm, so people only had to endure the ceremony at the church then a free bar and a huge meal after.

Maybe we need a TripAdvisor for weddings where guests can rate the occasion and the B&G can rate the guests.