Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

Have you seen the cctv as to me still looks like burns

I'd be absolutely livid!!!! Your poor child!!!!

Accidents happen but I would want to see the CCTV and also know what they are doing to prevent it happening again. Seems like a very poorly designed door?

I think you should watch the CCTV and see how they reacted in the aftermath. This will give you a feel for what the nursery are actually like. I'm sure it was just a mistake and hopefully will never happen again now! But covering up the incident does feel like a red flag.
Have you thought of reporting to Ofsted so that they can check everything is in order x

Why weren’t doors opening outwards? That’s how it was at my childrens nurseries.

also, the undercut of the door at draft excluders so so chance of finger scraping

I’d like to know who’s voted You Are being unreasonable. Not brave enough to disclose who they are and actually justify their vote!?

I would be going absolutely mental at them, pulling child out of the nursery immediately and deffo report them to ofsted too

Did the manager have anthing to say about the staff not giving appropriate first aid, not seeking medical advice, and not informing you at the time but waiting for pick up instead?

I'd be so angry - accidents happen, this sounds avoidable, but was still an accident. But everything that happened afterwards was a choice, and that's not acceptable.

Op. You are In a tricky position.

i suspect that the logistics of finding an alternative nursery and fact you’re back to work tomorrow - means you are trying to convince yourself now that it’s ok and no big deal.

But actually - it is.

I would be furious too. The response from the manager is a clear admittance that procedure was not followed, and that this led to injury - should have been entirely avoidable.

Ouch that looks so sore. I can't believe they didn't call you when it happened so he could go home 😢
My son is in a nursery that we aren't happy with, similar as you say you're not sure what they've been doing all day, they just seem to be milling around when I go to pick him up.
We are moving him in 6 weeks to a nursery that has a fantastic outdoor space and a bit more structure/learning actities through the day. The count down is on!

I think 10mo is quite young to be in a nursery as I found my son needed to be a bit more self sufficient than what he was as its not 1:1 care. I felt if he didn't keep up with what the group were doing he would get forgotten I.e eating and drinking enough.

Am due my second and I think ill try and find a child minder from 12mo till they're 18mo as it should hopefully be a bit more personal. Then they'll be more ready to start nursery.

Don’t feel shite about putting him in nursery. Ignore the people trying to make you feel guilty. Thousands of people need to do what you do, that’s why nurseries have baby rooms and they’re full because of high demand. And the kids thrive, and IMO benefit from the company and the range of activities that nurseries are able to provide. Accidents like the one that happened to your DS are rare.

Completely this!!!

If they didn't have some sort of draught excluder at the bottom then the doors should be fitted to open out into the corridor and not open into the room.

I hope your little one's fingers are on the mend now.

It seems as though the staff in the nursery thought they could pull the wool over your eyes and not be truthful about what happened. Shame on them!!!

I agree with this. Insist on watching the CCTV yourself (and no, safeguarding and GDPR are not good enough reasons to stop you seeing the footage of your own child if they try that nonsense) and check the date stamp on it.

As for feeling guilty about putting a child in childcare, I am afraid that in the real world, women have to earn money to keep a roof over our heads and to feed our children so anyone trying that argument needs to jog along.

Good grief OP I would go absolutely nuts in your shoes!

Negligence of their own staff on their own procedures and shoddy that they didn't notify the manager too.

I'd be taking them to the cleaners tbh. Completely avoidable accident at the expense of a baby for Christ's sake.

That looks so sore, hope its healing. I work in a nursery and we would've definitely called the parent to let them know. As a parent I would absolutely be brining this to the managers attention and taking my child elsewhere.
As for the bottle, they should be putting a bib on him and helping with his bottle. As for the not drinking his bottle, some children won't take their bottle or eat very much when they've started nursery.

sorry I am late to this thread: I would second that the injury looks like a burn to me (I see lots of first aid casualties in my line of work - not a medic though.) I cannot think of a way to open a door or trap fingers that wouldn’t have involved the very tips of his digits. He is injured on the pads of his fingers by maybe touching something scalding hot. The mechanics of a door/entrapment accident wouldn’t produce this kind of injury.

i would take your LO to the doctor, raise the issue with them and involve the police at this point. Request CCTV and make a formal complaint. Yes, it’s time off from work, yes you would have to find another nursery but what if you send him back and next time he comes home with an even worse injury - not to speak of the trauma of a 10 month old toddler who’s being exposed to harm.

I think this is quite a positive update. They are admitting clear failings and importantly seem to be quite transparent. I think opening it over his fingers sounds quite plausible for the type of injury he had.

Good luck going forward, hope baby continues to heal

Oh dear op.

Have you taken pics of how bandaged his fingers are as well?

So they can see he needed professional work on it?

How utterly sloppy but it doesn't surprise me at all.

My dd was in pre school Nursery and looking back her key worker was beyond useless .

I described an illness she had which should have been immediately high lighted!
It wasn't and I didn't know their procedures!

Anyway they still knew what to look for and one day they said she was looking X so they put her in x.

I can't say more as it will out me..so I didn't think anything of it until I was strapping her in the car and i saw she was seriously unwell!!
I rushed her straight to a and e.. it was full and dd taken straight in!

Even then when I updated them the nursery was just like oh dear we miss her, hope she gets better soon!!

I had no idea then what should have taken place! How would I !!

Op I know you can't do anything about him being in nursery but my experience and some others I've had which would out me , I don't recommend any non verbal vulnerable children put into others care.

I hope he gets better soon!!

So a double fail-he wasn't being supervised & a check that should have happened didn't!

Add to that the lack of first aid afterwards and the failure to notify the manager and then making it sound like a really minor incident on the phone to me. If I’d known, we would have gone and got him, he must have spent the entire afternoon sore and upset 😭

Maybe the baby was trying to get to the door to escape.

Funny.

Thank you for this, it was helpful to have a similar account. Although the handling of it sounds miles better. I’m sorry that happened to your DD.

I asked to view cctv when my dc was hurt in a playground incident in primary - was told I couldn’t view due to other childrens privacy, I asked if they could blur faces but was told no. I argued that I already knew the children involved as ds had told me, and school had confirmed after they’d watch the cctv, but no, they would not back down and categorically would not let me watch the cctv. I fear gdpr has just gone too far imo.