Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

As others have said I cant understand how a door injury caused that as looks like a burn and if so I'd be deeply worried if they have lied to you about what happened. Some serious follow up questions are needed and I'd be taking him to a pharmacy to get their opinion on the injury (how it was caused and how best to treat it). Can you ask about whether they have CCTV so you can see what happened?

That looks so sore, Op.

I am not a medical professional but it looks like a burn to me. Good luck and I hope that your little one feels better soon.

Holy S* I would go mental!

When my nephew burned his fingers like that on a radiator it looked exactly like that.

I would get him seen ASAP by a doctor.

I thought you were overreacting then I saw the picture! Jesus fucking Christ. This one needs to go ALL the way! Don't send him back there and send that to everyone!

Please get medical advice, poor thing!

Even without the injury I would move hom
immediately based on a rash on his chest from the sloppy way he is being fed. This isn’t acceptable either.

Move your son first, report them to ofsted.

It does look like a burn I know but I just can’t understand how that would have happened either. I wish it had been me that picked up and not DH as I’d have a clearer idea of what happened.

for context they’re an independent nursery, have been there for 30 years and have a ‘good’ ofsted rating. They’re always full too. We chose them because their seemed so organised and I thought they ran a really tight ship!

feel absolutely gutted, hate the fact that I’m not looking after him myself as it is.

I agree it really doesn't look like an injury from getting fingers trapped in a door.

I wouldn't go down the losing your shit/going ballistic route, there's no point and it makes you look like unstable.

Inform them that he'll be leaving the nursery and withdraw him immediately.

Call Ofsted and report what has happened.

Be calm and measured.

Pharmacy is a good shout of I can’t get him an appointment.

Hiya, I just want to go slightly against the looking like a burn thing - that happened to my son’s fingers when he got them caught in a door which his sister slammed and it looked just like that. BUT it was done with force and the door had no guard, so actually that concerns me more because for a baby to be near a door that was being moved with that much force is not good. Definitely a meeting with the manager, definitely request the paperwork and I would be asking to see where it happened and asking what actions they’re taking to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Depending on those answers I would then decide what further action to take.

My dd had her thumb shut in the hinge side of a door.
Nursery took her to A&E, she needed an operation.

I was of the 'accidents happen' school of thought and she went back to visit nursery the next day as I didn't want her to have a hang up about it, she was 3 and carried on there until she left for school.

After 4 weeks of twice weekly dressings, we were told she would need plastic surgery. At this point I spoke to the nursery and said now it was something that would be visible for life, I was going to seek legal advice. They were very understanding.

The girl who shut her thumb in the door worked her notice and left, so upset at the damage she had caused dd.

She is 20 now and is slightly deformed but it could really be a whole lot worse.

I hope your little boy heals swiftly. Although I would want to know what happened, I wouldn't be tamping mad as he'll soon be healed with no long lasting effects.

Before I pull him and report to ofsted I definitely want a meeting if only to get an account and the missing paperwork. At this point I’m not sure the manager is even aware of what happened.

That looks like a burn, from straighteners.

I'd get him seen today personally.

Call nursery tomorrow and ask for a meeting to discuss the injury and how it happened. Explain you weren’t given a copy of the accident form and have some questions. I would want to see the door and get a better understanding of what happened before I kicked off completely, but I would definitely be asking more questions. Hope your little one is ok.

Holy shit, that's a NASTY injury! Your poor baby! Absolutely shocking!

You'd be well within your right to lose your shit. Would you even believe their full version of events?

GP tomorrow and take it from there. I definitely wouldn't be allowing that nursery to care for your child again. They need investigating. Even if your son's fingers did get trapped in a door, they appear to me to have hugely UNDER-reacted in terms of how painful his injuries must be.

Your poor little boy. I hope he heals quickly - physically and mentally.

Have you got a small injuries clinic near you, I’d get that looked at and dressed, it looks really painful! I agree with you and I’d not be happy! 10 months, is he even walking?

Just ask for a copy of the form to be sent to you/picked up. Your dh could have asked for a copy and didn't - it's not a huge deal, it's on him to ask for more detail at the time.
I'd also have got medical attention and proper dressings. Maybe I'm the only dissenting voice but it doesn't look that bad.

Tips of fingers into a hot drink perhaps? Your poor boy, I'd report them to Ofsted for this and for not telling you the full extent on the phone.

I can well believe he was playing with a door- he tries to do it at home, he’s a bit fascinated. But he was obviously left unsupervised totally.

From the title and the start of this I thought you might be overreacting. You aren’t. I’m not sure they are telling the truth.

Get a copy of the form first.

Not walking no, just crawling and trying to pull up on things.

I’d be getting that looked at today.

Something is off, my boys had a couple of wobbles but we always got very detailed information and paperwork with always follow up.

Personally I would absolutely go mad and report all the above to Ofstead immediately.
Not meeting basic care needs ending in an accident is blatant neglect! Speaking as someone who works in care this is completely wrong.

That's dreadful. At work we have CCTV do the nursery have this?

Also they should absolutely be helping him with his formula. We have a designated space for holding the babies and giving them their bottles.

Hope his fingers heal soon.