Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

Exactly what I thought!

I thought all doors in a nursery setting had to have guards on them?

That is 100% not a finger in door accident! That’s a burn. I would be taking this further. Report the nursery.

Just to say, my little one got a similar cut in a door - it pinched the skin off, if that makes sense? It looked exactly like that, I dresses it for a bit but in the end it was air overnight that helped.

Also, my 11 month old definitely gets fed her bottle at nursery while being cuddled - they say that she probably doesn't need the bottle for food, they all just like the cuddles!

The doctor who examined the fingers agreed that the injury was not a burn.

OP has enough on her plate without people trying to persuade her that the nursery are lying to her about a burn. The injury is consistent with his hand getting caught under a door, these things can happen and it happened to my DD at nursery.

What a thread. About 90 percent of the posts are focused on whether the injury is from a door or a burn. Irrelevant.

Then we have some good old parent shaming (I would never send a child so young to nursery! I vent believe you left it two days to get help!) 🙄

All that matters here is the baby’s well-being and the parents’ peace of mind.

Parents have and are attending to baby’s well-being ✅

Parents’ peace of mind will come as they work through their distress with an action plan, seeking answers from nursery, arranging new childcare and so on.

But 72 thousand posts saying it doesn’t look like a door injury.. I mean come on, once is enough.

Just ignore that incredibly passive aggressive dig. How wonderful for the poster if she’s rich enough to stay home for an eternity to raise the kids-either that or she claims benefits.
Either way, most of us had to return to work after having kids-and if there’s no family around then what choice is there except nursery.

That is a burn.

All doors should have finger guards fitted.

What a thread. About 90 percent of the posts are focused on whether the injury is from a door or a burn. Irrelevant.

It’s not even remotely irrelevant.
The nursery told the OP and her DH that their child was ok and had trapped their hand/fingers in a door.
This is questionable to say the least.
Add that to the fact that they reported that the baby was fine when they clearly were not.

It doesn’t look good.

It is absolutely irrelevant. The child has been examined by a doctor who confirmed it’s not a burn. 🙄

Fuck sake like.

Maybe a trip to A&E. It looks like some sort of burn / scold to me. Have a look at the policies on their website especially their complaints procedure. They are not medical professionals; they are in no position to tell you your child is fine. That is opinion not fact.

Glad you got it checked out. I agree that it looks more like a friction injury than a burn, but if it had been a burn it would definitely have needed proper dressing so was well worth getting seen. I'd be going moderately apeshit at the nursery.

I can't imagine leaving a child that young at nursery full stop

Is this helpful at all?

I put my 6 month old in nursery. I had 2 children under 2 and had them both in nursery, despite the fact that nursery cost more than I earned! I work full time, and I work by choice. This doesn't make me a monster! I can't imagine being a SAHM. So what? I don't feel the need to spout off about it at random!

That looks like a burn, something doesn’t add up. I would definitely complain.

👍🏻

And the bit about the nursery saying the child was ok when they clearly were not?
They’re not exactly filling the OP with confidence are they?

She was right to take her child to A&E and find out what the injury actually was and is right to ask for more information from the nursery.

Op surely the trust is well and truly broken.

Burnt means they lied AND were negligent
finger caught in door meant that they didn’t have required soft close door AND they were negligent

either way shit

have you researched other nurseries?

The hand could've gone under the door rather than in the vertical hinge. That's what happened to us.

Yeah, i’m thinking he’s put his fingers under the gap at the bottom of the door. Why that’s been allowed to happen and why someone then scraped the door over them I need to find out. Have emailed the nursery detailing what I need to happen now and to say I’ll be coming in for a meeting- no response yet. Thanks to whoever posted the legal-type bullet points a few pages back, that was useful.

I posted upthread how it happened to my DD at nursery - the woman who was looking after her moved her away from the door and then as she turned to open it, DD shot back behind her and planted her hand in exactly the wrong spot on the floor. The manager reviewed the CCTV. As I said, I had a long relationship with all concerned and was happy with their explanation, but in your shoes I would want to see the CCTV. Accidents do unfortunately happen no matter what mitigations are put in place.

Good luck for the meeting, I hope they are able to put your mind at rest. Remember, posters on here love to stir up the drama but the reality is that you need childcare. You may decide you're not happy with this setting, but it may also be that the meeting is productive and you go on to have a long and happy relationship with the nursery despite the bumpy start. My DD is starting school in September and will be in a class with some DC she has known since the baby room. Nursery can be a fabulous thing.

I agree with your last update, OP - I think he's put his fingers under the door and then someone opened it while they were trapped underneath.

I'm pretty horrified about the lack of first aid and the fact that they didn't give your husband the right paperwork etc. My workplace did more about me, an adult, scraping my wrist on a wall (from my own clumsiness!) the other week than your son's nursery have done about a baby sustaining a much worse injury that should never have happened in the first place.

I don't have kids and am not very familiar with how a nursery works, but keeping crawling/toddling babies away from doors or anywhere they could trap their fingers like that seems like pretty basic, no-brainer childcare to me?! Even I know that you have to watch out for that exact thing. It's bad enough that your poor little boy has skinned the tips of his fingers like that, but there are also even worse injuries that can happen with small children and doors - a baby/toddler could honestly lose a finger very easily like that and it's shocking that the nursery aren't being more vigilant.

Hope his little fingers recover soon and don't stay sore for long.

You need to get to the bottom of what happened here op. But you have lost faith in the nursery. I am a gc carer and my gs was left to suffer with a fracture to his lower arm because the manager was afraid to call me because it was a second incident. She chose to protect herself and the nursery over my two year old gs. Terrible person. She finally rang me that night and got short shrift. The owner actually said she thought I would kick off "again". Like I did that on a daily basis fgs.

Nothing was truer than a friend telling me that my gs only had me to look out for him and very sadly although you think these people are doing that, they are not at all. I don't think I could send him back again op. I did first time and I was wrong. Trust your instincts.

Ok so the manager has been in touch- she wasn’t in on Friday but should have been informed and wasn’t. There is cctv. It shows a staff member opening the door with DS’s fingers underneath. They have a peep hole and an alarm system in place so if a baby is there they can be moved. She didn’t check, just pushed the door open.

well they need to have a warning then its not really good enough plus not telling their manager