Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

I must confess I read this fully expecting to think YABU. My youngest started nursery at 6 months old and I don't think the limited updates are an issue personally.
HOWEVER the bottle thing is ridiculous- of course they should be helping him. And the injury is extremely concerning. I would see a doctor ASAP. I would also contact the nursery and ask for a copy of the accident report, and any other details about the accident in writing. Ask the doctor is this looks like an injury from the way they've described. If you have any concerns, contact Ofsted.

*That’s 100% a burn

i imagine they’ve heated food too hot and he’s put his fingers in it before they realised how hot it was*

This is really concerning. I wouldn't be surprised.

My boys have had their fair share of accidents and injuries over their time at nursery but nothing that has seriously concerned me like this. I'd use a different nursery actually, but would still investigate and potentially call ofstsd for the sake of other kids.

I got a similar injury on my toes when someone closed a heavy door on top of them, so I think it's possible that it is from a door. But whether it's a scrape or a burn, it needs to be seen and dressed properly.

I'd probably remove him from nursery just for the bottle thing tbh. If he's spilling milk all over himself, it doesn't sound like they'd notice if he started choking on it. With these injuries as well, I definitely think you should remove him and follow the complaints procedure all the way up, including to Ofsted.

Sorry OP dounds mentak hope hes ok

agree with pp Looks like a burn and looks very severe and is a key location (hands). You need to take him to a&e for proper assessment and dressings. If scars over can have lifelong implications. Luckily doesn't seem to cover any joints

Oh op. Im upset for you! This looks so bad and I too immediately thought it's a burn. I would not send ds in tomorrow but rather go in and demand an answer. If it was a door what was he doing unsupervised there in any case. This is really not acceptable.

I was just coming on here to say that looks more like a burn.
Sorry, no time to read through the whole thread but if not suggested already, I would be asking to look at the CTV

You have an appointment to discuss the accident. Who saw what, what supervision was in place , what has been changed to stop any repetition, if first aid training is up to date and the time frames for contact etc . I would wait to see what they say and if it makes sense or not before deciding what to do. I think it is reasonable to say it looks like a burn if that is what you think and expect an answer. Sometimes pinched skin can look very burn-like.

I think it depends on how you feel after all the information has been shared and you have seen their reaction to your questions.

As lots of other posters have said that absolutely looks like a burn. I'd be furious OP and would move him straight away

I don't think the issue here is the level of harm done. Although it looks nasty OP they will almost certainly recover well from it especially with the right dressings etc.

The more concerning element is the fact that at least one member of staff in the nursery has at best heavily downplayed the severity of the 'little graze on the door' and at worst lied their backsides off. This for me would be a massive safeguarding red flag. A nursery without enough candour to tell you exactly how a tiny baby sustained an inujury and therefore not learning from it or improving safety is not fit to leave your most precious creation IMO xx

Report to Ofsted and Local Safeguarding, this has been handled all wrong, hope little one is ok 🥰

Has he been seen OP? Make sure to stock up on calpol, he's gonna need it.

ofsted are useless. I reported my sons nursery and they emailed my report directly to the nursery manager and informed me they wouldn’t be doing anything! My son had an incident weekly for 8 weeks running involving being hit bite scratched by other children

I can see how it could be a door related injury, although it does look like a burn (hot metal door/slide/floor outside?) No matter what caused it, that would be a phonecall asking parents to come and look at it everywhere I've worked, which encompasses under 3's to teenagers. I'd be losing my shit big style.x

I really think Those are burns.

ofsted are useless. I reported my sons nursery and they emailed my report directly to the nursery manager and informed me they wouldn’t be doing anything! My son had an incident weekly for 8 weeks running involving being hit bite scratched by other children

Ofstsd aren't useless at this sort of thing (ie child safeguarding), for all their faults!
I don't know the ins and outs of your situation, but my children have both had numerous incidents like that... it happens so quickly, staff can't always intervene even if they see it happen. But this thread isn't about you. Whatever you may think, Ofsted is still a sensible option.

Pooooor baby
I want to cry for him and for you

I would be fuming.

The more concerning element is the fact that at least one member of staff in the nursery has at best heavily downplayed the severity of the 'little graze on the door' and at worst lied their backsides off. This for me would be a massive safeguarding red flag. A nursery without enough candour to tell you exactly how a tiny baby sustained an inujury and therefore not learning from it or improving safety is not fit to leave your most precious creation IMO xx

I agree. The way they've dealt with it is very concerning.

Your poor baby. Reading the first part about their lack or care with his bottle was bad enough but his poor little hand looks so sore and I agree that its not a door wound! How on earth is that injury possible from a door? I hope you get some answers. Cctv maybe that could show more about what happened? But definitely complain. They sound like they are providing minimum care. Hope he heals quickly xxxx

I agree it looks like more like a burn and I’d take him for a review at the GP or minor injuries unit.

I would be absolutely fuming and make a huge deal out of this.

Can you move him to a different nursery or a childminder?

Hope you’re ok, OP.

i would speak to them. Does you child’s nursery have CCTV in the rooms? Mine does and once when I was concerned about an incident they showed me a clip of what happened. As a parent your entitled to know what has occurred with you child.

And the bottle thing is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard when the child in question is so young.

My son had his finger trapped in a door that someone opened, it did not look anything like that. It was a straight line bruise with a straight line scratch/graze. I’ll try to find a picture....
That very much looks like a burn either from hot food, or a hot metal surface.
I think a meeting with the staff is totally appropriate and some better answers given by them.
Of course accidents happen and little can be done to prevent them, duty of candour is really important.
I really hope his poor little fingers heal soon.

Not RTFT but your poor baby, that's absolutely horrific and definitely hasn't been caused by a minor accident.

I'm normally pretty chilled but I would be absolutely furious about this. I would remove him immediately from the nursery and make an official report.

What a nightmare for you OP at what's already a really stressful time. I hope you can get an alternative sorted very soon.

It looks like a burn and it has blisters too. My ds on Christmas Day put his fingers on the the hob and it looked exactly like that. Definitely remove him op. I feel for you and especially for your poor baby who can't communicate and has to stay in a careless lazy setting and god knows what else they have been sweeping under the mat downplaying events with other babies too. Massive red flags everywhere in this setting.

When you go to collect your copy of the form, I would ask if they can get “the member of staff” to show you where it took place. Their reaction to your request might tell you all you need to know….