Set 18years old a curfew

[oregan49]

My 18yr old comes and goes as they please etc but I ask that they are home by 10 at night. I have to get up at 5.30 for work so I need sleep. I don't want to be worrying if they aren't back or if the house isn't locked up, plus it disturbs everyone when they come in.

They have been late several times and tonight I caught them out on a lie they tried to use to excuse them being late. I've now said from now on I want them back by 9.30. Obviously this hasn't gone down well but my sleep is more important than their night out. My house my rules, they should respect me, they are free to go live elsewhere. AIBU?

Sorry but setting a curfew for an adult is not only ridiculous but bound to fail. They will inevitably stay out all night just to be able to stay out, then you really won’t know where they are or if you’re safe.

I had v strict parents as a teen and I lied to them about where I was. I wish they realised that had they not been so untrusting and ridiculous I may not have lied so much
🤷‍♀️

To be fair, my sleep IS quite important, given that I'm the person who then goes out to work & provides for my teenage dc. I'll be paying towards their sundry gap years & uni for a good decade, & I am bloody knackered.

I did indeed 'have my time being young' & I am still perfectly capable of cutting the occasional late night caper now in my early 50s,

So we have household strategies to mitigate the disruption of people rolling in late.

Let me know you will be home late/not at all, don't burn the house down embarking on elaborate drunken cooking experiments, don't do an All Back To Mine of 20 people that I'm not expecting, try not to drown anyone in the pool, & clean up any vomit so the housekeeper isn't pushing it down the plughole in 24 hours time.

Honestly, I don't think that's unreasonable. OP's curfew though - bonkers.

The poster who is letting their 17 year old go to town - grow up and stop trying to be a cool mum. Your dd is a child still.

LOL. In a year's time kids who are now 17 will be off on their own in university. How are they going to manage on their own in a new city if they haven't been allowed to practice in their own home town?

I don't want to be worrying if they aren't back or if the house isn't locked up

@oregan49 - so just stop worrying. It's not your son or daughter's job to manage your anxiety for you.

I see OP hasn't been back. I think this must be a windup.

Ground rules about being quiet when they come in fine.

Curfew for an adult - ridiculous

OP, you say they are free to go and live elsewhere, would you really want that? I’m totally confused here, in one breath you want them in by 9:30 in another you are comfortable with them moving out.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Give her a key, go to bed when you want to and lock your door. Tell her to be quiet when she comes in.

This is a thread from July 2022.

🤣🤣 clearly I had too late a night last night, did not even notice.

Sorry…thats ridiculous! 18 is an adult even though they dont act it. Make them understand its a two way street. They come home when they like but dont disturb you. You in turn use silicone ear plugs! You chose to have kids…they keep you awake from day 1…but you are being silly with this.