Strange man judged me for putting hand gel on my 2 year olds hands. AIBU?

[NojudgementMum]

I was in a queue in a cafe today and I had my 2 year old DS with me in his buggy. I looked down and notice his hands were mucky and I didn’t have wipes or tissue with me. So I grabbed a small bit of hand gel from the counter and rubbed some on his hands to clean off the muck.

This older man standing behind me stared at me and said “he’ll have that rubbed into his eyes any second now”. His tone was cold as he glared at me judgementally!

It took me a few seconds to register what he said because I was so shocked and taken a back by his intrusion.

I would never put my son in danger, I only used a tiny bit of gel and waited for it to dry in fully so he wouldn’t put it in his mouth or near his face!

Who does this man think he is judging me like that? He stood there on his own in his nice suit, seemingly having a stress-free day, meanwhile I’m struggling to do my best and get through these long summer days with my 2 children (DD was in camp)!

Why can’t people mind their own business?! What right do men have to judge mums like this? The fact that he was a man pissed me off even more! He was in his 60s and I’d say like most men back then he never lifted a finger to help with his own kids back in the day!

AIBU?

I'd have forgotten it 20 seconds after he said it.

forget it

Perhaps someone will be able to remember the title of the, "thanks random man" thread and post a link for you. It shows how frequently this sort of thing happens and will probably make you laugh.

Shoo, random man!

He was wearing a suit? That's already weird nowadays

I think you might have over reacted a tad - it's a passing comment he probably meant nothing by.
I wouldn't have said anything to you, but I wouldn't put hand gel on a two year old tbh. If his hands really needed washing I'd take him to the toilets.

its possible that the cold eyed judgemental glare was actually just blank face and the thing that went through his head came out of his mouth.

Strap yourself in OP you will have a lot more of this to negotiate - let it be water of a duck's back

There will be hundreds of folks offering you advice, snide comments and the like between now and forever - learn to pick your fights

Also try not to be ageist in your posts

Basically "grow a very thick skin" if this has bothered you so much

I wouldnt put hand gel on a 2yo tbh..

but Who cares that it was a man saying it
You would have been offended if it w as a woman as well. Admit it 😆

This commment Its not worth making a thread for. In one ear out the other and continue your life.

The ability of random men to pass judgment on women’s parenting never ceases to amaze me.

During lockdown, the random men in this area were all about Road safety when comment on my and my friends’ parenting. Kids were too near the road, kids weren’t looking, kids had run off. We always knew exactly what was going on with our kids and they were always safe. Fuck off, random men.

Random man was a twat for giving his unwanted opinion... but hand sanitiser is for sanitising already clean hands.. not cleaning muck off.

Should've said it's to cleanse the nastiness around him away and then hissed at him.

No, I'm just joking.

Don't worry about it. People will find anything to judge someone on now. It's gets boring. Take no notice.

Total non issue but I do agree with him

I definitely would put hand gel on a two year old

Seriously? This happened hours ago I presume. You actually remembered it and then decided to post about it? I wish people would just stop being terminally offended all the time about throw away comments.

Where does the grease go if you don't have anything to wipe it off on?

Anyway, OP I didn't neccessarily think he was "judging" you. He might just have been trying to be funny/ start a conversation

You both sound as judgemental as each other to be honest.

He was in his 60s and I’d say like most men back then he never lifted a finger to help with his own kids back in the day!

Utter bollocks ^^

Yeah when I had DD I could not believe the number of middle aged men who seemed to think it was okay to pass judgmental comments on my parenting in public. They like to do it because it’s controlling and a way of dominating women in public.

Interestingly, as my DD has become a preteen it has diminished again - it’s like there’s something irresistible to them about the prospect of “telling off” a woman with a small or toddler age child.

I must be an anomaly 4 kids and no random man has ever passed. Comment on my slightly chaotic parenting. I feel I've missed out.
I did get quite a few "ain't you got a TV love" when pregnant comments though so might balance out...

My parenting is about as good as my punctuation on the previous post!

He was in his 60s and I’d say like most men back then he never lifted a finger to help with his own kids back in the day!

Oh, and this isn't judging someone?

Honestly, why are you even thinking about this longer than 5 seconds after it happened?

He shouldn’t have said anything.

But I don’t really get how putting hand gel on mucky skin and then just moving it around gets rid of muck, without a tissue or something to remove the muck first?

This older man standing behind me stared at me and said “he’ll have that rubbed into his eyes any second now”. His tone was cold as he glared at me judgementally! I think you may be reading more into it than there was.

He was in his 60s and I’d say like most men back then he never lifted a finger to help with his own kids back in the day! How do you know how he parented his kids, having met him for 20 seconds in a queue? Plenty of 60 year old men were/are hands on Dads and Grandads.