"You're in administration are you?"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Waiting for a train and a guy started chatting to me to pass the time. Told me he had a 51 year old son so he must be in his 70s. When he discovered I work at a university he asked me the question in the subject line.

I asked him what made him say that and he just shrugged. I didn't say so, but I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation.

Unreasonable to be wryly amused/slightly miffed? Not the first time it's happened and always men that say it.

Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with working in administration either btw.

I too wouldn't expect someone who said that they "worked at the University" to be a lecturer.

What did you want her to do, curtesy?! Call you ma'am?!?!

He didn't ask what I did but where I worked. The discussion was around proximity to the station and travel rather than professions.

I would have said I was the sex therapist there and in charge of a new nationwide study on male impotency.

I know what you mean OP. Not long ago I was drunk and on my way home in a taxi, being sexually harassed by the tedious little prick of a driver. He asked me what I did, I told him that I work for a university. He immediately decided that I was an admin assistant. I'm a course director.

So many things wrong with that journey... your post reminded me of one of them so I wanted to express recognition and solidarity.

I really don’t think it’s because you were a woman. You are putting that on the conversation yourself.

lf a man told me “I work in a university” I would assume some sort of admin or support role. If they were a lecturer I would assume they would just say that.

It's a man thing, not an age thing.

You complain about him making assumptions about you but you make assumptions about him and "his generation."

"I asked him what made him say that and he just shrugged. I didn't say so, but I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation."

You thought he was in his seventies, possibly 10 years younger than 83 year old Professor Germaine Greer.

He could be older. I made assumptions based on the age of his son. Now you mention it though I've had something similar said by a guy born in 1988!

If I answer the phone at work we often have clients say “I don’t want to talk to the likes of admin!” - it’s always the same “type” of client too.

So I explain that’s very rude and then announce that I’m an architect.

Theyre always very sheepish afterwards.

Wankers

Ma'am would be more appropriate than love, if we are in a situation where the men get called sir, yes.

He is old. Many old guys have old fashioned views, Why are you so surprised? I find lecturers tend to hold strong views that they are very outspoken about or have an exquisite resting bitch face if not in the mood (and that is fine) perhaps you seemed very laid back and light hearted.

As you are the woman in the conversation it must be your fault somehow, it couldn't possibly be because he is a sexist old duffer.

Yes, if he is "Sir" then I am "Madam". Why is one more ridiculous than the other?
Why not call him "love"?

It might be an age thing though.
A posh old lady heard one day that I was a SOLICITOR (not a legal secretary as she had presumed). She said to me "but you don't appear in court, obviously?" (Even though she knew I was in criminal justice, not conveyancing or the likes!) To her shock, I advised that yes, I most certainly did! She just didn't think that was a job a woman would do (she had been a secretary herself back in the day).

When I first joined the NHS one of the more senior consultants noticed that I could type fast (he was in our office for some reason) and asked the man he thought was my boss whether he'd mind if he the consultant) sent me some dictation tales as his secretary was off sick.

I was the deputy service manager and the man was my admin. He looked slightly sick at the situation.

I've also been the one in the meeting room before the meeting starts and was asked to "make coffee for the boys as they were all busy GPs who couldn't possibly make it themselves).

I could go on

I've had the coffee thing too when a new male staff member asked me to make him a coffee. I told him about the milk club and showed him the kitchen.

Why do you think you’re better than other university employees because you are a lecturer? Do you know the level of qualifications most HE administrators hold? Our salaries are also often much higher than academics because of the skill set that is needed. Like a PP said, VC’s are also administrators.

It's an age and gender thing. I often tell people that I work in a university, it feels weird to come out with 'hi, I am a professor'. But I've decided that it's actually the most specific way of saying it, my colleagues in professional services all say they are in HR, administration, etc etc. Its only academics whose job is specific to working in a university. So for me if someone says they work in a university, its clear they are an academic. Either way, he was clearly against and sexist

Why do you think that I think I'm "better" than other university employees because I'm a lecturer?

@Lipsandlashes in my experience, anyway working in professional service just states their field - HR, legal, student recruitment, research funding. These jobs are in no way lesser or worse paid than academic ones

Because your immediate reaction was to be offended that someone thought your worked in admin and you quickly corrected him that you are an academic “and he didn’t know what to say to that!” Seems to all point to you thinking you are ‘better’ than admin employees.

I've stated that. @Lipsandlashes has assumed things without reading the whole thread.

But why was your immediate reaction to be offended that someone thought you were an administrator?

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron it's more that you seem pissed off that he might have assumed you worked in admin - why would you be annoyed if you didn't think you were "better than that"?