"You're in administration are you?"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Waiting for a train and a guy started chatting to me to pass the time. Told me he had a 51 year old son so he must be in his 70s. When he discovered I work at a university he asked me the question in the subject line.

I asked him what made him say that and he just shrugged. I didn't say so, but I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation.

Unreasonable to be wryly amused/slightly miffed? Not the first time it's happened and always men that say it.

Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with working in administration either btw.

I wasn't asked what I did, I was asked where I worked, as in distance from the train station.

Maybe he fancied you and it was his version of an opening line? Really not worth an attack of the feminist vapours, a simple yes or no response would have sufficed. It might even have led to an unexpected and interesting conversation.

Ask her and find out.

A 71yo shouldn’t be hitting on OP.

What gross attitudes you have to women.

"Ask her and find out."

I know the answer, thanks.

YANBU

Why would he even assume that? I work at a university. I'm a teacher of EFL and though my job title is lecturer, I don't feel comfortable calling myself that as I'm not an academic and I don't give lectures. People assume I am a lecturer if I say I work at a university. I've never had anyone assume I work in admin. I'm a 46yo woman.

Dickhead... but probably not unusual for his age group. Wryly amused sounds like a charitable response to me.

I had a doctor reacting with utter surprise the other day when he learned that I'm a professor, but then I'm in Flanders and things are a bit old-fashioned here.

Reminds me of my DM who ran a large department at our local hospital back in the late 70s - early 80s. She controlled a budget of (I think) several million (a lot now but even more then). Well, if any reps
came in asking her to speak to the man in charge they wouldn’t be making a sale, would they?

Not excusing it as it would annoy me too, but I do think it’s a generational thing. If you are in your 70s/80s your mindset was shaped by an era in which women in office workplaces were mostly secretaries and senior roles were dominated by men. My late DM would often talk about a female acquaintance who had a really good job - she was an office manager! To be fair, it probably was considered a good job ‘for a woman’ in the 60s/ 70s. Most of my friends mums were sahms or worked a few hours in a supermarket. Thankfully times have changed.

I took my husbands grandad to tesco once. He said great job for a woman being on the till

I think you're right. I've still heard people talk about seeing a "lady doctor".

Reminds me when I got a quite high profile post-doc, first week on the job I went along to a welcome event for postgraduate students. I struck up a conversation with a VERY mature PhD student (70s), I said I'd just started the job... after a while it became obvious he was assuming I was "the secretary". I told him, no, I'm a postdoc, he said ok, then later in the conversation again he asked how I manage such and such admin task... although to be fair I think there was some actual dementia there!

😹😹😹

A good lesson here about never talking to strangers!

I don't think it's specifically because I'm a woman, but I'm an Editor, as in the person in charge of a publication, and I get a bit fed up with everyone confusing it with a proofreader, mostly because I bloody hate proofreading of any kind and yet it's assumed that's what I do all day.

This happens a lot in healthcare, and there is a predictable pattern. A doctor will complain on Twitter about being repeatedly addressed as "nurse", or the way patients will ignore her and direct their questions to the male medical student shadowing her. And almost immediately there will be a chorus of, "Why do you think you're better than nurses?! What's offensive about being a nurse? Stop being so elitist and up yourself!" Happens like clockwork. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be pigeonholed because of your sex.

This is from Google

"When do You Need Proofreading Services? The main purpose of the proofreading service is to correct all errors in grammar, typography, punctuation, syntax, and spelling in a manuscript whereas the editing service aims to improve the overall quality of writing by enhancing the flow, readability, and structure of the written material."

How accurate would you say that is, and could you expand your perspectives based on your experience please ?

Hahaha - "what gross attitudes you have towards women" - whoever said that to me has made my 'annals of absurdity'; after nearly 60 years of being a woman, living the shit and shifting, sifting through it, I now apparently have an 'attitude'.

Get with the programme sweetcheeks - I've always had an attitude - it's helped make the world a better place for other women. I don't need your thanks btw.

And to the pp who says a 71 year old shouldn't be hitting on anyone - what ageist planet do you live on? OP already stated her similar age group - so what is the problem here?

In fairness I also misinterpreted your post re your age OP.

When you said, "I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation." I took that to mean that you think he made the assumption because you're a woman and also of the same generation as him. In other words, I thought you were referencing the fact that you are an older woman in your 70s who, as we all know, had a much tougher time carving out a successful career than modern women.

Reading it again, I can see that you actually meant that you think he made the assumption because you're a woman, and also because of the generation that he belongs to.

For complete clarity, I'm not criticising your wording. But it just shows the written word can be so easy to misunderstand sometimes!

I know, some replies are incredibly unpleasant.

My grandad used to piss me off when he thought the female doctors were nurses, I cringed, they didn't. Likewise, any male nurse that attended him he thought was a doctor. Hopefully that misogynistic generation is dying out now.

Ah I see the @TheHateIsNotGood read it the same way I did too!

Similar age group! FGS! I'm 42! I never said that!!!!

"Better" is generally higher paid or more educated. No point pretending otherwise. Not a better person but undeniably a better job. And most university administrators are not better paid or qualified than most academics. Academics have a PhD whereas most administrators have a bachelors degree or less. Administrators start on minimum wage or less as apprentices. Academics start on about £45000 after years of postdoctoral training. Only a small minority of support roles earn that .

"I asked him what made him say that and he just shrugged. I didn't say so, but I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation."

I also understood that you were the same generation as the man to begin with.